I don't feel appreciated by my friends

[CrystalMinds]

I don't really know where to start so I'll just spill it.

 

I don't feel appreciated by my friends. I would do so much for them, but I feel they wouldn't do the same for me.

Stupid (not stupid for me, might be stupid for you) example of this week: I wanted to have a drink with my 3 friends for my birthday.

It's tomorrow, so I wanted to do it on thursday. After some issues I heard one of my friends would rather have it on friday, so i put it on friday. But then they said: hey, it's ur birthday, you choose the day. So I was like, okay, I'll do it on thursday cuz it's my birthday then. But then my best friend says she has plans tomorrow in the afternoon and she's going to see a friend of hers, just to hang out, and she said she'll come over a bit later than planned.

 

Then I was thinking like, you prefer hanging out with her instead of coming to my birthdaydrink?

I'm probably overreacting, but I feel like I would do so much for them, cuz they're my friends, but they take it for granted and wouldn't do the same for me...

[Deejmonster]

Don't get so worked up over stuff like this... it saves you a lot of stress in the long run. How long have you all been friends? I know that when I was in college, I did a lot of searching and really bounced from one group of friends to another until I found a good mesh.. It sucked but I didn't find it useful to have friends that really didn't take an interest in me.

[WhenWillILove]

I personally hate it when my friend drinks. She gets obnoxious, loud, physical and overall highly annoying.

[Batya33]

I used to care about "the day" of my birthday as far as when to celebrate but I got over it. Which worked well for me because the type of people I click with tend to have very busy lives - socially, professionally, volunteer work, you name it and I would feel like I was imposing if I asked them to show up on a specific day especially if it wasn't a convenient time for them just because it was my birthday. I think if your friends want to go out to celebrate your birthday you should really appreciate it even if it is not on a particular day.

[CrystalMinds]

We're friends since highschool, so about a year or 5-6.

 

Hm, yea, maybe I am worrying about it too much, it's not like they wouldn't have shown up at all...

[Deejmonster]

As you get older, atleast for me... birthdays really dont matter to me as much anymore. I wouldn't get overly concerned unless they start ditching you left and right

[CrystalMinds]

Nah, not that I'm aware of...

But I'm good at finding negative things behind people's actions, I should learn to stop doing that.

[kessian]

Sorry to hear you feel somewhat hurt. If there's a regular pattern where your friends don't hang out with you, stand you up or other hurtful behavior then you need to start maybe distancing yourself. If i however this is just a one off then i wouldn't worry about it.Also, they actually said they'd come to your birthday in the first place and your friend said she'd be around later.Sounds reasonable.It's hard to say from what someones written.You should be able to feel if they are effing you around. Good luck.

[im_the_undead]

personally, i've realized that there's no such thing as "friends," something more visibly available are associates who need someone to hang out with when there's nothing else going on.

most especially, there aren't friends that are going to put YOU first (other than like Jesus, your dog, spouse) lol.

simply brush it off. be like a guy and dgaf. you invited her, that's all you need to do. have fun with or w/o her!

most of all, be happy certain people even showed up! hell, i'd be ecstatic.