Do I give up or hang in there for a while longer.

[John1]

Ive posted her before about getting my ex back..

I was with my ex Rachel for 4 years.. she

was the love of my life and still is.. 15 months ago we split up over

mestupid drunkenly  kissing another girl.. we were so happy together and had

planned on moving in together and have plans on getting married and spending

the rest of our lives together...Then 15 months ago I drunkenly kissed

another girl and i was so guilty.. i told rachel and we then split up... I

have been trying ever since ( 15 months now ) to see if she will give me a

2nd chance.. but she wont.. she has changed her phone number and she has

moved out of home ( which she was doing anyway as we were due to move in

together ) so i cant really contact her and when i do see her i ask for 2nd

chance and she says no, that i dont deserve a 2nd chance.. this was a girl

who upto 15 months ago would have said yes if i had produced an engagement

ring.... She loved me , She tells me she doesnt love me anymore.We had a great relationship.. we did have out fights and disagreements but nothing that would break up a relationship. .now over this isolated drunken mistake it has cost me my love and I miss her so much.. I still love her with all my heart. I did push her when she split up for a 2nd chance.. I begged and pleaded and sent her letters etc.. she was my 1st girlfriend and it was my first breakup so i just fell apart... I was stupid and Im learning now.. whether its too late or not is another matter.A female friend of mine who is also friends with rachel told me about 8 months ago that " If you give her time she will come back , and she will come back" so thats positive at least but its not definite.. I know i reacted badly to breakup but the last 12 weeks where i have not seen or heard from her has been good as I can focus on myself and not be worried about her or what shes doing or whos shes with etc...

I saw heryesterday for the 1st time in 3 months.. I was leaving shopping centre and she was entering with some guy, he could be a new boyfriend or he could be a guy she shares a house with i honestly dont know.. i said "hi rachel" and she looked up and said "hi" and that was it.. I didnt want to push it or act needy as the previous 12 months i had pleaded and begged etc and acted needy and pushed her away.. so by saying a simple hello it wouldnt come accross as weak or needy..Basically in the last 15 months Ive tried everything possible to win her back but have only succeeded in driving her further away. so hopefully this No Contact may work.. Now yesterday was the 1st time in 3 months i had seen or heard from her.. All I got was a "hi" I know a lot of other girls.. I work with loads of girls at work and get on great with them. BUT at the same time I want to see if No Contact will work for me... I dont want to put my life on hold too much longer but I feel what we had deserves a 2nd chance...

Just wondering if you can give me any advise to get her back or if you think im wasting my time and should move on to another girl

[justtwicethen]

Ill be honest with you.

 

 

You lost somebody good. And you deserve it. I mean, you got drunk and kissed another girl. A kiss is but an extension of an emotional bond you share with someone else. Not some inebriated chick at a party.

 

Im thinking here, if that happened to me, I wouldn't forgive.

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

I SORTA agree with just. I mean you probably deserve a lot of this pain. If you did this once there is something SERIOUSLY wrong. You need to know that drunkedness is no excuse. You should know that there are people in this world that wouldn't kiss another girl EVEN IF they're drunk.

 

But to be fair to you, the fact is that PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. So if you HONESTLY do think it was a mistake--and you may never really know how your subconscious feels or if you're doing this just because you can't have her now--you at least can say your sorry. If you haven't already, just tell her one last time that you are sorry, that people make mistakes, and that you would do anything to prove your love to her. And then LEAVE HER ALONE--forever if that's what it takes.

 

There is nothing more you can do. I'll let you decide if you really deserve all this pain, but you can't change her feelings, she has to decide on her own to take you back. Fifteen months does show a lot of dedication to this woman.

 

Maybe at the same time you do NC you should work on yourself. I can tell you that I would never kiss another girl and I've been pretty smashed sometimes. I mean you do lose your inhibitions when you're drunk but you don''t lose all rationality--few people would kill a man. You end up doing things that social stigma keeps you from doing when your sober. I know you'll say "it's just one little kiss", but you need to kill this behavior before it gets worse, because you're on the road to becoming a man that cheats on his wife.

 

But sorry I couldn't give you better advice.