I put my head in the sand didn't I?

[Nugs]

Hi all.

 

Some of you may know my story but briefly I met my partner 18 years ago (both in our twenties) and she was the love of my life. We "grew up" together, developed as people and in our professions and I totally expected to share the rest of my life with her. I would have died for her. I must say that she was (is) the loveliest caring and honest person I have ever met and I miss her with every breath.

 

About two years ago she told me that she had kissed (I think that was all) someone she was attracted to at work. She was clearly traumatised about it and we rowed. She cried, I cried and she told me she was sorry, it would never happen again and vowed that was over and the other person was leaving anyway. Cards, presents, "I want to be with you forever, I'm so so sorry". Life carried on, I thought really happily - although it was I suppose always in the back of my mind.

 

Fast fwd to September and wham, "there's someone else". And yes of course - the co-worker from before.

 

Now I don't know whether they had been seeing each other behind my back or whether she just couldn't shake the feelings she had, and they had met up again by chance...? But I am now livid with myself for being so naive as to believe it was really over. I think I believed it because I wanted to, and I feel so depressed about it and with myself. Not that she gave me any signs - I guess she was thinking about it for a while though and something finally gave ther the courage to do it.

 

Anyway, any thoughts? - don't be afraid to tell me I was an idiot!

[jonesyjakk]

DUDE!!!! You are not an idiot!!!

 

Your story, hits home with me. It is very close to my own. I actually had this chat with my mu yesterday, about how 2 years before me and my ex split, I found photos on her friends camera (she was staying with us in our home) and I should have left my ex then. I didn't even confront her about it. My ex also told me she had kissed someone......2 years later she left for a co-worker too.

 

Was I an idiot for not leaving, nah.....I loved her with all my heart. It sounds like you loved, you truly loved this person. It takes a brave and couragous person, to say lets work through this, when someone has done something like that. It means, to you, that pesrson was very special. I understand. My ex, to me, was so special.

 

What's important, is now the damage has been done, you pick up the pieces, one day at a time. Don't focus on what has happened, I know that is sooooo much easier said than done, but learn from this, know that you are capable of giving your heart to someone, loving and trusting them. This person has done an awful thing to you, and I truly truly feel your pain as this was done to me also.

 

Hang in there. YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT!

[WhenWillILove]

It's tough. Hang in there.

Is it the same guy?

[butterflyburn]

When someone else enters the picture, you should leave on a jet plane. Just disappear and let her explore and should it be a case of GIGs then u can deal with it when she comes grovelling back but for now, it is the end

[Nugs]

Yep WWIL, same co-worker who had definitely left and they weren't staying in touch.....

 

Yep bb, I am leaving her to it (no choice), and getting on with getting on as best I can.

 

Jonesy, thanks - appreciate it - and sorry you know what it's like! Sorry anyone has to deal with these sh'tty breakups, but grateful that people are here to share their stories.