I didn't realize there were so many people wanting their ex

[JohnnyTable]

Hi Maxter,

 

I could use some advice about my situation as it is very complex due to a twist.

 

My ex and I were together for 5 year and living together for 6 months. During the last year of our relationship I was travelling about 50% of the time. This upset her tremendously, but she gradually got over it (not sure how, maybe by pulling away) and she was able to go with me on a couple of occasions.

 

4 months before the breakup her Mom died of cancer. She never dealt with this and was free to admit it.

 

During the breakup I made all of the mistakes (begging, pleading, accusing of it being easy on her, etc.).

 

Now here comes the twist: During our relationship I often thought that she may have a drinking problem, but I was in denial. When things got really bad I went to seek professional help for myself. I have no doubt that she is an alcoholic until told otherwise.

 

So a few weeks after the breakup, I had nothing to loose, so I had an intervention for her. I love her and I wanted to do whatever I could to help her. She was diagnosed with alcholism.

 

At the time she reluctantly agreed to get treatment. A couple of days after the intervention I was to go out of town for 3 weeks. She told me, "I want to talk to you in person when you get back and I mean it." She told me this several times and seemed to be getting closer to me. However she would also say that she does not see herself being comfortable around me or my family because we "know" about the problem.

 

So I went on my trip and we did not talk while I was gone. When I got home, I left her a message letting her know that I was back in town. I did not get a response. I also discovered that she is seeing somebody else.

 

Honestly I have no idea what to do as I'm not sure that NC is the right thing. I have no idea if she is in treatment. If she is not, then I can see how she would be pushed away to somebody else who does not know about what is going on. The fact that she wanted to have a talk with me in person and then it never happened was really painful.

 

I was the closest person in her life and understood her more than anybody else, but I cannot show this with NC. However she is not contacting me either.