why am i so jealous of everything?

[broken]

whenever i hear someone of my age or from my friends' group that they got a position in class, i get jealous...and now some of my friends are even getting married...i feel jealous...today one of my friends told me that her wedding preparations were going great...i felt jealous...then i heard that one of my other friends had a baby boy...i felt sad and jealous...

 

Is this because i don have any of those happiness or is my personality so cruel...i get confused sometimes...whether i shud pray or not..if i pray God will think that as it is i am sinful so y i am i praying for something good to happen...and if i dont pray then may b God will think im being too pessimistic....

 

No i don have anything happy going on rite now in my life...but sometimes i think this is justified...after everything that ive done...i don deserve any happiness...just a sad and a horrible looking face and personality

[sisterlynch]

We all look at the grass as greener when it belongs to our neighbor.

 

Look at the positives in your own life and reflect upon those gifts that you have to become better adjusted in times of stress!

 

Love yourself first! Noone else can love you as much as you love yourself! This isn't a sign of arrogance unless you start putting others down as a result of your own accomplishments.

 

Don't let the others take you apart when you are successful, they are just as jealous of you as you are of them!

[emmorey]

Hi

 

It sounds like you are putting yourself through a tough time!

 

Why do you need to compare yourself to others? You are your own person. You are brilliant in your own way. I'm sure you have a heap of stuff that makes other envious. You will feel so much more fulfilled and happy if you do not need to compare yourself in order to feel good about yourself. These tips might help:

 

 

1) Instead of saying 'I'm worthless, she's better-looking, he's cleverer' or whatever, try silencing that negative inner voice and instead say positive things to yourself, like 'I have great eyes, I am so witty, I am a kind and loving person' or whatever strengths you have. This isn't big-headed, because you are saying it to yourself!

 

2) Whatever you have 'done' in your life, you must forgive yourself. There is no point punishing yourself. I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think. You deserve happiness, why accept anything less?

3) I think if you keep feeling so bad about yourself, looks and personality, you should think about seeing your doctor. This can be a sign of depression, or even Body Dismorphia, where you are convinced you are ugly.

 

4) You say you feel sad as well as jealous. Often the two are linked; you feel sad because someone has something you want, or because you think you aren't good enough. Try focussing on the things you are good at and your self-esteem will soar whilst the jealousy subsides!

5) Stop bullying yourself. You seem to compare yourself all the time. If you stop comparing and start loving yourself, the jealous feelings will subside. I know how you feel, I always used to compare myself to my ex-boyfriend's exes. But now I realise there is no need. Everyone is special in their own way, and is loved for who they are, not how well they compare to someone else!

 

6) I don't think it is sinful to pray for these tormenting feelings to stop. You wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone, and you don't deserve to feel this bad all the time.

7)You are not a cruel person, except to yourself perhaps! You wouldn't dream of talking to a friend the way you are talking to yourself, so start treating yourself better and you will feel much happier!

 

 

I hope this helps, and that you start treating yourself in a more positive, nice way. You can make those jealous feelings stop! I did, it just takes a little self-belief and self-confidence. You can do it!

 

em

 

 

[sisterlynch]

Good answer emmorey!

[mermayd]

I think emmorey hit the nail on the head for the most part. Good going! You know, I was once told this quote and I have applied it to so many aspects of my life...this could be one as well.

"When you are looking for something in particular, you will find it anywhere"

 

Basically, You are more aware of what you DONT have, then what you DO, in your case. You see friends and peers with children and marraige. You may be yearning deeply for this and since you are not involved in that lifestyle at the moment, you want so badly to be, that you are jealous of those who DO have it. I think you know that you do deserve what they have just as much as they deserve it. Everyone has made mistakes in their life. but do not look at your mistakes as regretful decisions. Look at them rather as learning experiences. If you truly feel that you made a mistake in your life and you are aware of what it is, then you can change that in the future by not doing it. This is how we learn. "you must endure the storm, to enjoy the rainbow" There may be pain and regrets over your life, but by learning from them, you create a brighter future.

You will, one day, have everything that you desire, you will have a family that you long for. Maybe now is not the time for you, but is for others. Your time will come to. Just like puberty. remember when you felt that everyone else was maturing more than you? Faster? Well, there WERE those who you were maturing faster than as well. But we only notice what we want. And as puberty hit you, so will your happiness.

I am going through my own insecurity problems as wel....so I do relate hugely to you. I was sitting in the bathroom yesterday breaking down completely and telling myself that I hate feeling this way and all I want is to be happy like I used to be. And something just came into my head that said "DO IT!" and I realized that I have to not let my thoughts eat me alive and I need to grab life by the horns and take charge, or I will be miserable forever if I let these feelings, thoughts, insecurities, jealousies take me over.

I wish you the best

[broken]

im glad i looged on to this site and found great helpers like u emmorey and mermayd43....the feeling of less confidence goes on no matter how i try...but i certainly have starte thinking over the points u 2 just raised....

 

may b im being too pessimistic but really..i havent done much in my life to make myself and my parents proud..

 

and i hope i get the brains and the approach to life as u too have ...

 

thanks a lot...

broken