peypey2010 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 My ex and I made love two nights ago after we had a huge talk about everything. Afterwards, he kissed me goodbye and said he would consider getting back with me; however, he then messaged a girl on Facebook asking her to hangout and that we're done for good good. I then called him and told him to let me know if he meant what he said, and he said yes, but it is a slim chance that he will come back. This morning I found out yesterday he went to a strip club and has been going to them during our relationship... lying to me about it! Right now he is at a show I bought us tickets to for his birthday with another girl, and he just texted me, "Thanks for the tickets, they are fantastic seats. I appreciate it." LIKE * * * ? Explain this to me. I have not responded, and I do not plan to. Is this the right thing to do? I know he wants a response whether it be a "You're welcome" or "Yep". Either way I am giving him a reaction he wants. They both show I care! I want to know what is going on in his mind? I feel like I am a backup, but it is nice to know he is thinking about me while he is with this other girl. I hope he feels like a douche, and he probably will if I do not respond. Link to comment
peypey2010 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 Quick background. Ex and I have dated for 4 1/2 years. We have broken up several times before, longest 3 months. He told me this time was FOR GOOD! We have now been broken up 3 weeks total. Link to comment
Furbys Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 He has you by his side as an ego boost and somebody he can have sex with. It was a big mistake to sleep with him two nights ago but whats done is done. He is trying to keep you sweet by being nice to you and by giving you a tiny bit of false hope. Ditch him, he is not worth it, he is using you. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Bail, and don't look back. Even as a guy, I'm always amazed how men with little respect for women seem to draw them. Must be a confidence thing or something. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 He used you! The guy is a CREEP!!!!! He does not feel like a "douche" as he rubbing it in your face. Do not respond and move on with your life. You deserve so much better!!!! Link to comment
Tuffly Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Lesson learned. When buying tickets for an unstable boyfriend, always hang on to them and bring with you to the show. I hope you're done with him for good now. I wouldn't reply. Let that be the last he ever got from you. Do not ever allow him the pleasure of your presence, be it via voice, text, or person, again. He doesn't deserve it. Do not worry if he feels like a douche. Or later when he feels {insert manipulative statement here to get your attention.} He is not your problem anymore. Set him free and let him roam in the wild where he belongs. Link to comment
peypey2010 Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 LOL. I found out today he did not even end up going with the girl. Instead he went with a guy friend of his. Either she canceled, or he could not bring himself to go with her. Knowingly, she canceled. I can tell he is a little into her more than she is in him. Anyhow, I find it funny. I was all worried for nothing, even though I slept pretty well. I guess because he just annoys me lately. So, with that said, should I still stay in NC? He obviously was not with her and was being sincere about thanking me for the tickets then! BUT then again, who knows! This boy is confused, and that is why he is playing games with me. I know everyone says to never look back, but I am a very forgiving person. I do want him back, but I want him back the "healthy" way, so any advice on how to get him chasing me and making changes within himself in order to get me back. I am still trying my hardest to move on, just in case. I get better each day. I am actually quite fond of some guy I have been chatting with. He seems mature! I do not want any rebounds though. I still love my ex. We are one another's first relationship. I have made a lot of mistakes in the relationship, too! I have been working on those flaws in myself with counseling, etc! I mean we have been through tons of ups and downs, so to get through this that much stronger would be amazing. Link to comment
Bolegged04 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Move on..please dont give him an second of your time. He is immature and needs to be cut off like a bad habit. Go NC and let him go.. Link to comment
Tuffly Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 This sounds harsh, but do not confuse being forgiving with desperate. There is no way to change another person. When we try, the changes we'd hoped for are rarely the outcome. It seems like a lot of wishful thinking, doesn't it? Just from your post, he's been annoying you, playing games and he's into another girl. In my opinion, those aren't things to forgive. They're things to put up with while clinging to hope. I think its best you stick to NC until you feel stronger. Link to comment
peypey2010 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 Ugh, I hate this so much. This "new" him is not the person I know. I know a loving, caring, ambitious, mature side of him. Now that we're apart, it's on like donkey kong. It's truly making me sick. I hate not being able to help guide him down the right path. I hate knowing he is throwing his life away, hanging out with the wrong people. It is heartbreaking to know my best friend is about to figure things out the hard way, and I guess I am sad that I will not be there to catch him when he falls. I do need to move on though, truly. I know it is the best thing I can do for myself. I made the mistake of contacting him back to his last text because I feel like I need to leave him on a positive note, so he will want me back! But I know it does not work that way. I am always a fighter, but I guess this is a battle I cannot win. Link to comment
peypey2010 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 I guess it is just my nature. I have always been such a forgiving person, no matter what someone does to me (with the exception of my dad). I do not want things to end up like last time. I broke up with him and came back after 2 weeks to him saying he was DONE and NEVER LOOKING BACK. He then went on his merry way... partying, drinking, blah blah blah. Finally, one day, we got into a massive argument where I felt like I was just done with his bs and hung up. He apologized the next morning, but I never responded. I did not respond to any of his text for two weeks, and then he fell apart. He begged for me back. He bought like 20 relationship books. The whole package, and I let him back in right away, even though I felt like I was not into him anymore. I do not want that to happen AGAIN. Link to comment
Bolegged04 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 The "NEW" him? Its one thing that Ive learned and its take people for what they are. My ex was prince charming at first and then turned into the toad. But I figured out he was the toad all along and put up a front to get me and when he got real comfy, the real him came out. It wasnt new..it was just hiding and ready to jump out at the right time. Link to comment
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