Wonderland Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Roomie met a guy at the bar two weeks ago on a Friday. They went out Sunday and he slept over that night. Since then, he has slept over 12 of the 14 days they have known each other. He has even brought over his DOG for sleepovers. Some nights he rides his motorcycle over and parks it on the sidewalk maybe 15 feet from my bedroom window. When he leaves at 5:30 am, he cranks that sucker up and it likely not only wakes me up, but the entire neighborhood as well. I have let Roomie know I am not okay with this situation. I told her I didn't feel safe and asked that she limits his sleepovers to the weekends, which is when my boyfriend also stays over. This conversation happened Monday and she agreed. Monday night she stayed at his place, Tuesday she slept alone, but Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night he and his dog were back in our house. AM I out of line for believing this is unacceptable behavior? If we've talked about this once already, what is the appropriate step to take now? Link to comment
ToF Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 No, I don't think you're being out of line. Although I think this has nothing to do with him being older, and everything to do with your roommate not sticking to her word. Sit her down, and tell her again. Ask her to sign a contract if necessary. Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I went through something similar. My roomies bf was over all the time and it was beginning to annoy me. We had a talk and she agreed on a set number of days that he could be at our home. We also agreed on quiet hours so that we could be at the top of our game at work. So far so good. I would set up some ground rules and get it in writing and keep it up where you both can see it. I know that you said he was 10 years older than her. Why do you see that as an issue?? Link to comment
Wonderland Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 He's 35 and has been married twice -- it just seems to me that a 35 year old with TWO failed marriages under his belt ought to know better than to be staying over at a new girl's house EVERY single night. What also concerns me is that when he approached her at the bar, he knew her name, where she lived, who she previously dated as well as a few other facts about her, yet she had no idea who he was. Apparently he shoe'd horses when she was riding horses for the rodeo team in high school and that's how he knows her. He told her if she was dating anyone else, he would walk away because he doesn't "do competition". It just raises a red flag or two for me and makes me even more uncomfortable with his consistent sleepovers. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I wouldn't feel comfortable, nor would I feel safe with a roommate having a boyfriend sleeping over. I'm sure this is not a popular opinion, but unless you live alone, I don't see this as being fair while living with another person. Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 He's 35 and has been married twice -- it just seems to me that a 35 year old with TWO failed marriages under his belt ought to know better than to be staying over at a new girl's house EVERY single night. What also concerns me is that when he approached her at the bar, he knew her name, where she lived, who she previously dated as well as a few other facts about her, yet she had no idea who he was. Apparently he shoe'd horses when she was riding horses for the rodeo team in high school and that's how he knows her. He told her if she was dating anyone else, he would walk away because he doesn't "do competition". It just raises a red flag or two for me and makes me even more uncomfortable with his consistent sleepovers. Ok I got that piece of the puzzle now and can see why you don't want him in your home. I also see that you are trying to respect the fact that it is her home too. I'd be uncomfortable with him now that you have explained the missing pieces. I'd definitely would say something. I mean the fact that he approached her like that and knew all about her, creepy. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 He's 35 and has been married twice -- it just seems to me that a 35 year old with TWO failed marriages under his belt ought to know better than to be staying over at a new girl's house EVERY single night. What also concerns me is that when he approached her at the bar, he knew her name, where she lived, who she previously dated as well as a few other facts about her, yet she had no idea who he was. Apparently he shoe'd horses when she was riding horses for the rodeo team in high school and that's how he knows her. He told her if she was dating anyone else, he would walk away because he doesn't "do competition". It just raises a red flag or two for me and makes me even more uncomfortable with his consistent sleepovers. Wow..you've got one very naive roomate. Just goes to show how sex really clouds a person's judgement. I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable. This guy sounds creepy. It is also very inappropriate for a person to have their boyfriend sleeping over all the time when they are sharing an apartment with others. You can talk to her again but unfortunately if she has no concern for her own welfare, she certainly won't have any concern for yours. Link to comment
ToF Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Yikes ... Given the information you just shared about the guy, I wouldn't feel safe having him there. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 He has essentially moved in and brought his dog! No I wouldn't be comfortable with him there and I would definitely speak up again if you have to. Link to comment
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