How important is saying I love you to a person you are in a relationship with?

[giggles1]

I have been with my boyfriend for about more than a year now.It's a long distance relationship so i hardly get to see him.We try to communicate everyday through texts,calls but the communication between us is minimum. I told him that i love him but it was at the beginning of the relationship when it was only 4 months.He said he likes me a lot but it was just too early.

I dont know what should i do now?Should i tell him again?Should i be concerned about this ?

[OptomisticGirl]

So neither of you have said I love you except for you that one time early on?

[LDRohnos]

Don't push for someone to say "I love you", when they're ready they'll say it.

 

Judge him more by his actions rather than the words coming out of his mouth. Some people aren't comfortable saying "I love you" but they express it in their actions and how they treat you.

[giggles1]

Since i didnt get the positive response from him ...I havent said it again. whole time i just hoped that he would initiate it first and just say it.But how long should i wait?It's driving me crazy!

[OptomisticGirl]

Can you talk to him about this? Does his actions as LDRohnos said show he loves you?

[giggles1]

Don't push for someone to say "I love you", when they're ready they'll say it.

 

Judge him more by his actions rather than the words coming out of his mouth. Some people aren't comfortable saying "I love you" but they express it in their actions and how they treat you.

He is not good at expressing his feelings but does it also mean that he doesnt feel that he loves me yet??

[giggles1]

Whats the best way to talk about this ?I feel like If i talk to him about this I would just push him away...I dont want to be a needy gf

[OptomisticGirl]

Ask him how he feels. Let him know you were embrassed when you said it first and that you understand if he didn't want to say it then but it's been a year... you have to be open and honest with each other in a LDR.

[LDRohnos]

He is not good at expressing his feelings but does it also mean that he doesnt feel that he loves me yet??

 

Well if he isn't good at expressing his feelings either by actions or words I can certainly understand your frustration. Especially in a long distance relationship, hearing affirmation of your relationship becomes much more importantly verbally since getting affirmation physically or otherwise is limited due to the distance.

 

All the advice I can give you here is to be patient. LDR's are hard.

[LDRohnos]

PS - This isn't about being needy. This is about getting what you need. While that may seem redundant there is a difference.

[OptomisticGirl]

Do you have any plans to end the distance anytime soon?

[guynextdoor]

Saying and showing love are 2 different things. Which would you prefer?

[giggles1]

I will try asking him again ...Sometimes i feel i should just get out of this relationship because he is just not there for me physically most importantly emotionally...

But i don't want to just give up yet..

[giggles1]

Saying and showing love are 2 different things. Which would you prefer?

I prefer showing love over saying it but I don't see my bf as much as i want to..And the only form of communication is phone calls or text messages.It would atleast make my heart at ease if he says he loves me.I just want some assurance ..that's all!

[90_hour_sleep]

it's as important as you want/need it to be.

 

personally i think there's so much hype around professing my love to another person that the actual joy of loving someone has been somewhat tainted. i'd rather just love someone exactly as they are without the obsessive need for the reciprocation of that love to be verbalized. to me, expecting the love of another person puts limitations on the nature of love. and that kinda sucks...because love is this limitless experience of creation.

 

i dunno. if you need it...then you need it. but sometimes it's worth asking yourself why you need it.

[offplanet]

What if he doesn't actually love you? He said when you asked him that it was too early to tell. Maybe love never came. I think it would be good to find out, otherwise you might be wasting your time being with him.

[sophie274]

Sure, showing/behaving with love is more important than saying the words, but you also don't have to choose between the two. I couldn't be in a relationship where the guy couldn't verbally express his feelings for me, doesn't mean I'd be content with empty words.

 

I also think that after a year in a relationship, the couple should be in love and have a good idea whether or not they have a future together. Have you two talked about where the relationship is going?

[giggles1]

Sure, showing/behaving with love is more important than saying the words, but you also don't have to choose between the two. I couldn't be in a relationship where the guy couldn't verbally express his feelings for me, doesn't mean I'd be content with empty words.

 

I also think that after a year in a relationship, the couple should be in love and have a good idea whether or not they have a future together. Have you two talked about where the relationship is going?

 

No..we haven't talked about where the relationship is going..I am not very good at expressing feelings either maybe that's why this is causing a problem communicating?