ChellyV Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 it was an amount that i thought i can let go of. but am taking a big milestone and need all the funds i can possibly have. am on NC since BU, almost 3 weeks. no thoughts about reconciling right now, guess just came to my senses that he will never love me. and it is the least of my priorities right now too. i just want my $ back. Link to comment
Madara87 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I am sorry to hear your ex owes you $$ my ex gf also owes me a lot of $$$$$$ i didn't bother getting it back cause she don't even work her parents pays for her son daycare... Link to comment
YabbaDabba Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Are these funds documented? As in, did you, say, transfer funds to his bank account, or make payments on accounts in his name using a credit/debit card? If not, you might have a BIG problem if he puts up a fuss about it. I had a friend go through a very similar situation a while back and, yes, it was awkward but she needed the money he owed (we're talking a few thousand dollars), so she had most of the interactions through e-mail or messages (like on Facebook) which, is what I'd suggest you do, so that after the fact, you'll have something in writing if he replies negatively. I'd just e-mail him, acknowledge that its awkward but note that: 1) he does owe you the money and 2) it's important for your current situation (no need to go into detail, if you don't want to), and ask him for a timeline as to when he thinks he'll be able to pay you back (or, GIVE him a deadline--i.e., "I'd appreciate it if you could pay me back/get me the money/take care of this by the end of the month.") It's really up to you, and the terms under which the relationship ended, that're going to decide the tone of your e-mail. You do, of course, have the option of calling him and asking, but I'd suggest the written communication so you have some documentation, but if that falls through or he doesn't respond, then, yes, I'd call him, although you might want to be aware that you might not get the money back OR it could take months for it to show up. (My friend had to hound her ex for over a year to get her money back, even though she'd helped pay for his college classes and he'd graduated and was making twice as much money as her after the fact. Sometimes, though, the person who owes the money can hold it over the other person's head as a power-play. Not saying that's what is/or will happen with you and your ex, though...) Anyway, good luck with everything! Link to comment
mg22 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Good luck ! when i b/u with my ex money wasent owed to me.. but all my furnishings were in his home which we shared.. took me 2 months of begging and pleading with him to return my items, he never answered my calls, would not talk to me, i had to hire a attorney , finally he gave in and returned my items.. money is a different story.. he may not ever pay you back, but you can try by taking him to court, small claim courts. GOOD LUCK Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 How much money does he owe you? Because if it's not a lot, it's not really worth staying entangled with him. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Go see Vito and Vinny. They will take care of it for you. Link to comment
jbug Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 say the hell with the money Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 My ex owes me £200 and I could do with it but it's not worth the hassle/pain in my opinion. But if you really need it then I'd say go with what YabbaDabba said, polite but short emails would probably be sufficient without hurting too much. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 thank you all for your kind replies. it is not a lot, but when you are dry you suddenly remember these things. it was considered a loan because among other $ between us that was given, i just had to draw the line between giving and borrowing, and the amount involved here was one of the borrowed ones. i sent a polite email yesterday giving a deadline of end of month and it was very brief and direct. havent heard back yet. i am getting the feeling i wont see the $. but hey, i tried. what goes around comes around, i believe in that. Link to comment
dobbin Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 once the relationship end, accept that u will lose some money in the form of loan or belongings that you will never get back. one thing i learn, never share your finances/assets until you are married. never move in with another person unless you are married. hard life lessons well learned on my part from my own experience. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 once the relationship end, accept that u will lose some money in the form of loan or belongings that you will never get back. one thing i learn, never share your finances/assets until you are married. never move in with another person unless you are married. hard life lessons well learned on my part from my own experience. true, very true. i did get an email back today though saying he will make installments starting monday. i am so relieved, that is a big help in my current situation. Link to comment
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