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FaceBook Mess and McDonald's Girl Update


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Dating Update


Here’s what’s new with the girl from McDonald’s that I’ve been going out with. Although our communication is still of course limited because of the language barrier. I’ve kept my commitment to learn five new Spanish words a day, and I’ve recently bought Rosetta Stone, like someone here recommended. I fly often with my job, so I try to go through that while I’m in the air. I suggested dance lessons to her, and she seemed to really like the idea, but it seems like she’ll have to ask for permission.


I feel like we have great chemistry between the two of us. I love seeing her and look so forward to seeing her every day.


Our physical contact has still been limited (although do keep reading). I suspect her parents have some strict rule about kissing and hands holding. We do a lot of touching, but it’s like “excuse touching” like she’ll want to see my watch, and then she’ll adjust the time while holding my hand, or she’ll might spray some perfume on her hand and ask me to smell it to see how I like it. I pretended to know how to read palms, just so I can hold and touch all over her hand while telling her flirty things.


Because of her very traditional parents from Mexico, our “dates” must still happen in the midst of her two cousins. Fortunately, in the past week, I have not seen Andrea’s thug boyfriend or his ruffian friends. Unfortunately, a friend of Cousin Lucy has annoyed me immensely. I’ll tell you about that shortly.


The girl I’ve been going out with (it’s been more than a month, should I call her gf yet?) always dresses really sharp, so I was wondering how she could afford the look. After awhile I began to notice she seems to have just a handful of outfits that she keeps wearing so I got her some gift cards from the Mall of America at some different stores. She was kind of reluctant accepting them at first, so I downplayed it and told her I already had a few of them lying around (which is actually true for one of them).


So earlier this week, I showed up at the Mall of America (MOA) for our night together. When I met there, she already had several shopping bags in her hands and she was giddy as heck to be on her shopping spree. She asked if I could wait another fifteen minutes until the shopping girls would join up with the guys (I think 15 minutes in women time = an hour for men). So I headed over to the food court and was joined by, two male friends of his cousin Lucy.


FaceBook Mess


Havier, is nothing like the rough-neck friends of Boyfriend Raul. In fact, he’s sort of a Mexican nerd, if you can imagine such a thing. I was killing time by messing with my iPhone when Havier asked if he could see my phone. I decided, “what’s the harm?” so I let the guy check out my phone. He immediately started checking out all the games, applications, and asking me a bunch of questions. Next thing I know he says


Havier: “hey, I requested to be a FaceBook friend with you. Did you get it?”


Me (not wanting to admit I didn’t accept it on purpose): “Oh, you did? I guess I'm not sure how to accept those on the iPhone”


Havier: “Oh, I’ll do it for you.” He goes into my FaceBook app and then accepts himself. Then he laughs “oh, you got other requests too. Can I accept them?”


I admit, I’ve received requests from about 3 other Hispanic friends of my date, so I told him “Sure, go ahead”. Then after that, he starts taking my photo telling me he’s going to “tag me” with him. No big deal, but annoying.


It didn’t seem like a problem, until I checked out my FaceBook account just this afternoon. You see, when I get a FaceBook request, I never decline it, because I don’t know if FaceBook will tell the requester that it was declined or tell them nothing. So instead, I just let the FaceBook requests pile up. I probably had more than two dozen unwanted friend requests built up over the year. These are all requests that I do not accept because of good reason:


  • New employees at our company (some that I fired shortly after the request was sent for non-related issues)
  • Several short term relationships with women, some of them that ended badly!
  • Women that I dated and then that I was going away for a really long time.
  • One was with a married woman that works at a bank that was really hitting on me heavily.
  • One was with from the owner from a company that I did business with last year. He probably sent the request back in February. In March, the company I work with filed to sue him and his company for breach of contract.
  • Annoying pushy sales representatives and vendor.
  • Several FaceBook requests from people I don’t even know.



So you can imagine my horror when I learned a few days later this idiot let all these old FaceBook requests commence. I’ve seen that I have several messages in my inbox, and I dread even looking in there.


I guess I can go delete all these new friends, but that’ll look a lot worse to friend and then unfriend them right away. I imagine there’s some woman writing on an ENA like forum out there “He disappeared and then he accepted my FaceBook friend request. What does it mean?” You can imagine my utter horror when I realized what this idiot did!


Sorry, about the rant. I had to get it off my chest. Back to the big event of the month for me.


A Great Moment


Well after my date finally met up with me, we went to the park in the MOA. They have all kinds of rides like rollercoasters, etc. We went together in the Ferris Wheel, and when we got to the top, WE KISSED! I know it sounds like “so what, big deal.” But believe me, this is really a milestone for me in this entire dating thing with this girl. The kiss was rather brief, at least, compared to what I would have liked, and it was very so very sweet. I didn’t think I could get turned on much by a kiss much more at my age, but this was like a proverbial teenage see fireworks kiss for me. As I mentioned, she seems always so careful about not being seen being affectionate with me. She seemed kind of paranoid and scared shortly after the kiss, and sure enough, her gang were all waiting for us at the bottom of the Ferris Wheel. Now my mind is always trying to think of “private places in public places.” Any suggestions?


A Party Invitation


I've tried to communicate my wishes to have her parent lax the rules a little, and there might be a little bit of hope (although I’m dreading it somewhat). Lucy’s little sister is going to have a five year birthday coming up, and she invited me to attend. I guess all the family will be there, and I’m hoping to make a good impression, although I have no idea what to expect. Should I get the little girl a present? If so, what? Should I address it as “from that dude that can’t date your older cousin” or what? Should I get her parents a present? Anyone here in an LTR ever get nervous before meeting your SO’s parents?

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VP, I have no idea how hispanic parents would react if you bought them a gift or present. But one thing I wanted to mention, don't let anyone (even SO unless you are further into relationship) log into your personal stuff like FB/Mail. If they insist then tell them its personal. I've had that problem before but its best to draw boundaries rather than getting to some sort of mess.

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Yes get the little girl a present. Something pink and princessey!


In the US we bring gifts to a dinner party, so maybe ask to bring refreshments or a covered dish to help out at the birthday party. That's an indirect way to say "Hey I care and I'd like to be a real part of this, but I'm not over doing it by putting you in an awkward situation and getting you a gift you may not want or be ready for."


And sign the very pretty pink princessey gift "(Cousin's name)'s friend, your name."


And I would be nervous. I wanted to meet my LTR's parents before he broke up with me, but I never got the chance


I'm not Hispanic, but those I know are very proud people. Just be yourself and it will be fine.

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I think the idea of bringing food to the little girl's birthday party is an excellent one. I think that tamales would be an excellent choice. In California you can buy them at Mexican bakeries and Mexican restaurants, a dozen for 20 bucks. The choice is chicken, pork and cheese&chile typically. Tamales would be available for sale now because of Thanksgiving. I would ask around for a recommended place as to where to buy them. I think that it would be fun to shop for the gift for the little girl together with Silvia. She probably would be able to make good suggestions. Little girls do like pink for some reason.


Try to talk to Silvia's father in Spanish. See if you can chat him up a bit. Ask him about his life, where he was born, his work. In other words, (En otras palabras), show interest in him. It would not hurt to tell him what a wonderful daughter he has.


Maybe the best thing to do about your facebook account is to delete the account for a while. Oh, and you have the correct pronunciation for Javier, but the spelling is Javier. Js are pronounced Ha. Jarbon=soap, but pronounced harbon.


I have seen a documentary about the Mall of America on tv. It looks like it had future plans where one could live there and never have to leave. Living space, like condos, I believe, would be contained therein. I understand that people fly from Japan, for example, just to shop there and then return to Japan in a few days. It is truly an amazing place. A police station and fire station, is also on the site.


Please let us know how the party goes. Have fun!....

















It would be nice if you had a little something prepared to say to the Syvia's father (in Spanish, of course).

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Oh VP! Please just keep up updated all the time! Your posts make me smile - even though you must be mortified at times!

Yep on present for the little girl, not sure I'd take Mexican food to a mexican house though, I'd stick to something 'princessy' and a present for both the mum and dad, flowers and/or a bottle or something!

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VP - you seem to be an older, professional, educated guy. I find it curious you are trying to forge a relationship with a Mexican girl who speaks little English, has no education or career path, and is in her early 20's. Don't you want someone on an intellectual level as yourself? Someone more an equal? It's just hard to see any real traction here, when your worlds are so very different, and not in a West Side Story kinda romantic way, either.


Do you think you're fixating on her as a distraction from finding someone actually suitable for dating? I know I've been guilty in the past of involving myself in pointless relationships with completely inappropriate men, because I really wasn't genuinely looking for a connection (even though I thought I was).

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Do you think you're fixating on her as a distraction from finding someone actually suitable for dating? I know I've been guilty in the past of involving myself in pointless relationships with completely inappropriate men, because I really wasn't genuinely looking for a connection (even though I thought I was).


hmmm.....you might have a good point there, Ariel.......


What do you think VIP?..chi

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