ponyo86 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Long story short it's been on and off with a very 'emotionally backwards' guy for 6 months now. He seems to have some issues with intimacy, but when I'm with him he is very cute and kissy cuddly keeps eye contact when we have sex (he actually called it 'making love' the other day). Only problem is he pulls away so much, like he doesn't come back for weeks or months. I got fed up on Sunday and sent him a text outlining my frustration. Then he got angry at me. Then I kind of emotionally vomited on him and he hasn't written back (to my last 3 texts ouch). I really like this guy even though he can't talk about feelings. But have i wrecked it now? Will he come back? I just think I got too emotional and he is scared away. Although I have needs too and I guess I wanted to know how he felt. Would you consider his reaction as a 'just not that into you' or does he actually not know what to do? He is very very immature in that sense- never had a serious girlfriend (maybe one a long time ago) and he is 28. I just wanted to show him I care an he could open up to me. But it's hurting me now not even getting a reply... Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Would you consider his reaction as a 'just not that into you' or does he actually not know what to do? He is very very immature in that sense- never had a serious girlfriend (maybe one a long time ago) and he is 28. Does it matter? Bottom line he's not giving you what you want and you have no reason to expect that to change. Link to comment
Furbys Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 It seems like he is happy with the current arrangement, he has the intimacy without the exclusive tag so to speak. That is of course if you two are not exclusive, i just get the impression your not but do correct me if im wrong. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Would you consider his reaction as a 'just not that into you' or does he actually not know what to do? It sounds to me that he knows exactly what he's doing. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I agree with this. He can talk about his feelings, he just chooses not to probably because then you would stop having sex with him. I would see this, if I were you, as a casual sexual arrangement. It sounds like that doesn't work for you which is fine but getting angry with him isn't going to change anything. If you want to keep having sex with him just give him space for now and chances are he'll call when he wants to hook up. Don't take it personally or try to psychoanalyze him -watch his feet -what he does -not his lips. His actions do not reflect a person who is interested in a serious relationship with you and I wouldn't waste any more time even thinking about him if I were you. Good luck. Link to comment
Generation Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 He sounds manipulative to me. I don't usually say that about people I don't know or know anything about, but it's a strong gut feeling. That's what my MAN's intuition is telling me. Link to comment
ponyo86 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Yeah I guess your right... I just really like him think he is so cute and funny and he said to the lady at the shop the other day that I was his girlfriend when she asked. But I think yeah bottom line is I need someone who is consistent. One romantic weekend followed by 3 weeks of cold is just more than o can handle. Link to comment
Generation Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I just realized something after I made my first post in this thread... I posted in one of your threads before. Same guy right? Honestly, good riddance. Didn't have a good feeling about this guy from the start. He doesn't seem like he's doing you any good. He might be cute and funny, but what's that good for if he's manipulative? I'm saying he's manipulative because as a guy, I would know. Link to comment
ponyo86 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Yep that's him alright. I know I know. It's that I let him go and it's just long enough for me to get over the hurt he shows up again. This time I gotta be strong. He is like a drug to me at the time so good but feel terrible after. I just wish I didn't like him it sucks. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 You'd be surprised how much (particularly men but some women) use emotions as a manipulation tool. It's usually the person who "needs" affection more in these situations that gets their own neediness used against them. It does seem like this is the case here. He doesn't like talking about his feelings, he doesn't see the need to do so. He knows it bothers you and he manipulates the situation as a result of feeling pressured and/or as a means of resentment towards you. It's both happened to me in the past and I actually did it to someone else in the past unconsciously. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 PS - Into you or not this isn't a healthy situation. You're his Red to his Violet on the spectrum. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Sounds like it was a FWB thing on his part and nothing more. I would let him go. You can do a lot better than that (unless you don't mind being used when he feels it's convenient to him). Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.