loulou37 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Well today is my birthday...and i just thought i'd get a "happy birthday" message or card from my ex, i know stupid me, last year i spent my bday with him, so today obviously he's on my mind. I knew today was gonna be one of the crappy ones, i was prepared, as much as one can be. I wasn't intending on breaking contact with him, it would just of been nice to think i actually meant something to him. I also had it in my mind that if i heard nothing from him today then it would be time to finally move on....time to let go of "hope". To everyone that says "when should i give up hope" you will know exactly when...it will just leave you. You can't fight any of these feelings, you just gotta let them flow through you until they come and go with less frequency and pain. I do not know where i would be right now without all of you guys on ENA, all your stories have give me the strength to get through every day and will help me through many more to come. I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. love loulou x Link to comment
73401 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Hang in there. Birthdays, Holiday season, Valentine Day...regardless of when a break occurs, there is always some little reason to feel sad. Just get thru today and tomorrow will be better. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Hang in there. Birthdays, Holiday season, Valentine Day...regardless of when a break occurs, there is always some little reason to feel sad. Just get thru today and tomorrow will be better. Thanks 73401 x Link to comment
Kibit Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Happy Birthday loulou -- and I am sure I"ll be feeling a bit like you next week when that birthday comes for me as well. I'm only hoping though that perhaps for us both, and others feeling those pangs on a special day, that 'birthdays' might be observed each and every single day. In other words, for us that have gone through a BU, waking up every day is a birthday in a strange sense in that it 'can' be a new beginning for us, if we allow our thoughts and choices to make it so. Link to comment
lyndsaylynn Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Hi loulou, I am so sorry your ex didn't wish you a Happy Birthday. I just wanted you to know that the same thing happened to me in early October and although I was very hurt, I am feeling much better now. This was the first time in 25 years that I didn't get a birthday card from him! I wish I could say something that would make you feel better. I told myself that the reason he didn't acknowledge my birthday was because he didn't want to lead me on or give me false hope. In any event, I think our exes just have their own reasons and I really don't think they meant to hurt us. Happy Birthday, and I hope you feel better soon. Lyndsay Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Thanks for your birthday wishes, kilbit n lyndsay xx I was hoping for something from him, also on the other hand, i was dreading recieving anything....crazy eh? In my fantasy world, i imagined recieving flowers and a card from him saying how much he loved me and missed me but in reality i knew that that wouldn't happen. At least for me, it's over now, it was my cut off point, although not the end of the pain, just the end of hope...he really never did love me like i thought he did. loulou x Link to comment
Bergk Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I feel for you here; reaching 1 year break-up soon and I'm running through scenarios in my head where she'll text me and say how much she misses me - but the reality is it wont happen. I didn't wish her happy birthday because she cut me off, but I did think of her - and I'm sure your ex did too. Happy birthday. Link to comment
KYRiverGrl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I feel your pain. Ex did not send me a happy birthday text or call, but I didn't send one to him either. Hang in there Link to comment
Destiny2112 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Despite everything, I wish you Happy Birthday loulou! Don't let your ex ruin YOUR day!!! I have been there last year, too! First birthday without him (no card, no text, no birthday wishes from my ex, nothing), first Christmas without him, first anniversary without him... These days are difficult, you tell yourself don't wait for a message, but deep inside you do and are disappointed when you receive nothing at all (been there ). What helped me, though, was, that I tried to occupy these days as much as I could, working, meeting friends, going out for dinner, cinema, etc. just doing fun stuff with people who love you and enjoy your company and are there for you no matter what! It helped me keeping my mind from thinking of my ex... when those days are over, it gets better and easier again, trust me! Link to comment
Daev Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Happy birthday Lou. It is weird how the mind works, but doing anything new - that you used to do with your partner - is tough. Doing the food shopping, driving to work, watching TV, and YES the first birthday after the break up. Ride it through, and you'll be okay. When you wake up tomorrow, you will be glad you stayed NC Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Thank you everyone for your kind words and support, yea the first bday sucks...i just been out for a meal with my family, i had fun but it felt really weird without him well this is the future, i gotta get used to it. The day is nearly over (thank god!!!) tomorrow is a new day And yes, i'm sooo happy i've made it a whole month without breaking NC, pretty amazing for me lol...didn't think i would be able to do it, it's been torture. loulou x Link to comment
AnnaN Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Happy birthday! I had my birthday a month ago and I had a wonderful day and night with my now ex. I had the same feeling two days ago, but it was HIS birthday, the birthday we had plans to spend together, but it was the first after 4 in a row that we didn't celebrate together. I texted him though, bad decision because he called me. I hope I won't even remember his name on my next birthday and spend it with someone that I will spend the rest birthdays of my life... Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Happy birthday! I had my birthday a month ago and I had a wonderful day and night with my now ex. I had the same feeling two days ago, but it was HIS birthday, the birthday we had plans to spend together, but it was the first after 4 in a row that we didn't celebrate together. I texted him though, bad decision because he called me. I hope I won't even remember his name on my next birthday and spend it with someone that I will spend the rest birthdays of my life... Thanks Anna, at least i won't have to wish him a happy bday next month, i wouldn't of done anyway lol.... loulou xx Link to comment
BlueRose66 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Happy birthday loulou! By this time next year, think of how far you will have come?? Hmmmmm HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU!!!!! I dread my Birthday because it is the day after my ex's. Think of that?! We used to celebrate her Bday first and then sometime in the night, she would wake me and wish me a Happy Bday. I will NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGET HER because of that, oh and also the matching dragonfly tattoos. Sux!!! I had a dream she got her tattoo covered up, and woke in tears that she is thinking of doing so, or has already done it. I sure hope we will be able to make something great come of this break up because otherwise, I will be reminded of this my whole life. Last Bdays-July 28&29th, we were just in beginning BU mode, and an email went out to each of us from each other. I am more worried about Christmas. Our first year together we made Christmas stockings for each other, and every Christmas was wonderful and special. I will be alone this year. The pain from this BU has been more brutal than anything I have ever experienced in my entire 51 years. Heading to Hawaii tomorrow so I dont have to face Thanksgiving here alone as well. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Aww hunny, i feel for you i felt like crying when i read your message...i too am dreading christmas, it was gonna be the first that we actually spent together, everyone is so happy around me, my kids n family, all looking forward to christmas and all i can feel is pain in my heart 3 I don't know how someone can go from being so in love, not being able to go a day without speaking to you, to nothing, absolutely nothing...it makes you question if they really did love you as much as they said they did. All we're left with is the memories and the pain to deal with and it effin sucks BIGTIME!! I just hope he's happy now, cos hee wrecked my world while he kept his intact...sorry went off a bit there, i'm so bluddy angry. but hey!! we'll get there eh...well that what everyone keeps telling me, even sick of hearing that lol. have a nice thanksgiving down in Hawaii, well the best you can in the circumstances. love loulou x Link to comment
SweetSeul Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Happy birthday, fellow Scorpio! My birthday is coming up this Saturday and I am already expecting NOT to hear from my ex after 6.5 years together. I am doing this to prepare myself for the worst. Lucky him we were still together during his birthday so I was able to prepare a really nice birthday present/surprise which made him cry!! Grr. Now on my birthday, I get silence and just the ghost of him and our past. It will also be my first birthday, Christmas, etc. without him and what sucks even more is that I am overseas and alone without family! Christmas was always a big family holiday so I am gearing myself for some lonely holidays. At least know that you are not alone in feeling this way. We are newly singles alone together! LOL. Hang in there and hope you had a good birthday regardless. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 You never know Sweetsuel, he might send you birthday wishes for saturday, i would think after 6.5 yrs together it would be bloody rotten if he didn't. My birthday wasn't very good, i had him in my head all day n night and today i've had one of the worst days in a long time, the reality is really hitting me hard, i spose once the hope subsides it's all you're left with "the reality" i just can't believe he's just walked away from me like this, i'm finding it so had to take in, all i keep telling myself is: if he truly loved me he would never of left me. loulou x Link to comment
Scuza Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Happy belated, loulou We all know how you feel, some days are harder than others, and some seem downright impossible. But just keep reminding yourself that things will get better, because they always do. It just takes some time. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 thanks Scuza....hope you're having one of them good days {{{hugs}}} loulou x Link to comment
Kibit Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Just remember loulou, or keep in the back of your mind if you can (I know it's hard to).....The word "change" is a powerful, POSITIVE, word. Nothing ever stays the same. As the last line in Gone With The Wind (I'm paraphrasing)...Tomorrow is another day. It just seems to me from reading so many posts here, and I'm so thankful this site is here, that what we 'all' seem to struggle with the most is how our Ex's could turn off their feelings completely and discount that we were even in their lives. It amazes me how a person can just totally shutdown, and ignore we ever existed. On the downside to that, sometimes I wish I could be the exact same way -- no thought, no care -- but, on the upside to that, at least I know I have the capability to actually care, have positive memories, live in the moment and appreciate the lessons I've learned: Just wish I could graduate to the next darn class. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 you're right, i've felt that too, wish i could just shutdown n go cold like he has with me but i'm not like that, when i say those words "i love you" i mean them from deep down inside of me and i would move heaven n earth for that person....maybe that's my problem, i love too much and too deeply but i thought that's what is was all about, silly old me, never did learn...well now i've had the biggest kick up the backside ever, never will i love like this again and i will never believe someone when they say "you are my world and i'll never leave you"..... loulou x Link to comment
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