Miranona Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I have been dating a guy for about 7 months and thought this was leading to soemthing meaningful. I always thought he had felt the same, we've definetly had fights within this time frame but always seemed to come to a positive discussion and a way to move forward. This past weekend, I found out that he had been in contact with an ex, that had dumped him 2 years ago. I knew from the start that she had hurt him tremendously, but had reassured me in the past that she was "sour milk." The texts were explicit and I had called him out on it. He was shocked that I found out, told me that she had apparently saw us at a restuarant one night, got back in touch and told him how upset she was. She had been getting back in touch with him, had explicit texts messages, and now wants to know if they can hang out as "friends He apparently said he wanted to let her down easy and said he has been overwhelmed with what has been going between them and will get back to her in a couple of weeks. Besides the texting, apparently nothing physical has happened. I was distraught, left his apartment, making sure none of my belongings were left, I gave back his key. He told me that he was stupid to have done this, and didnt thikn it would ever got to me, because he wanted control over the situation and wanted to make sure she doesnt contact me. He said he was caught up in the moment (3 weeks this has been going on) and was not a result of how things are going in our relationship. He told me he didnt think anything of this, and that he regrets it. He said he cares about her and loves her because they had history, but not romantically and said he does not want to be with her. He said he loves me and wants to be with me. Understands that I may not forgive him, but is hping somehow I will. He said he was not sorry because he got caught but, sorry that it hurt me, and he truly dearly wants to be with me. I told him i needed some time to think, a part of me wants to believe him and wants to believe this relationship to work, and would be a waste to see it not grow into its potential. But I also am devastated, embarrassed about this. He has been contacting me (hours later) saying he feels dissapointed in himself, never meant to hurt me. He said he was not interested in doing anything other than waiting for me to speak to him. I responded with "until he gets his closure with his ex (which he said he got while we were discussing the incident, that it was not worth losing me over), ready to close this chapter with him, that I will not be open to communication with him" He said hes starting to realize from hindsight and words I said that he was headed on the same path, which he has been before with his ex. He wishes it didnt talke all his stuipidity for him to remember that. He says he knows that I need some time, but hopes that if we have a glimmer of chance, time wont do damage, and that I dont rush into something else. I still reiterated to him that until he has his closure with his ex, he ends it with her, and is ready to move forward from her, to stop contacting me. This is entirely fresh to me, and he reassured me time and time again that he was not looking for anything else while in a relationship with me, and that he wants to be with me. I am dreadfully afraid that he may end up with her, but hoping reassurance from all you guys, that I did the right thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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