deecbee Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I've been friends with a former co-worker for over a year and yesterday I finally had enough of her flakiness and lack of communication and I cut her off after the last straw yesterday. To keep it brief, mainly I had a problem with her never following through with plans that we'd make. But the problem was she would never outright cancel her plans or leave me enough time to come up with alternative plans. Instead of verbally cancelling, she would just stop communicating - not respond to calls, texts, emails. This would ALWAYS happen a few hours before whatever we were supposed to do something. And I'm not just talking about simple dinner plans, either. I'm talking about vacations, things we'd spend MONTHS planning. Examples: Last year for New Years Eve, we made plans to go to a concert. We both bought tickets and then she upgraded to VIP. I reluctantly shelled out $100 extra dollars for a VIP ticket. The day of the event, I didn't hear from her. AT ALL. I ended up having to go by myself. Last year we spent 6 months planning a road trip to Coachella Music Festival (her idea). I was going to go anyway, but she insisted she wanted to come, and said she'd bring ALL of the camping gear. Literally 1 hour before we left to pick her up, she stopped responding to my calls. Finally at the dead last minute she said she was going with a friend instead since our plans were "too disorganized". I vowed to never speak to her again, as I had to scramble and spend money on camping gear that I never bothered to get since she was supposed to bring it. Yesterday (the last straw), she flaked out again. We live accross the country now and she told me a month ago that she'd be in town and that we should hang out. I let her know my schedule and told her to tell me a good time to meet up. We agreed on an area and a time and I told her I'd send her a text when I was nearby. 1 hour later... still no response from her. I let her know I was headed back home, which she then responded and said she was watching a movie and didn't hear her phone. She asked if we could meet later that night in a different part of town (her last night in town). I said okay, and told her to let me know when and where. I sat around and by midnight still had heard NOTHING. I sent her a matter-of-fact message letting her know that I have standards for friendships and that ours didn't meet that standard, then I deleted her on FB. I know I won't hear from her because she is a bit of a coward. And I know you're wondering why I would ever be friends with someone who repeatedly does this - every time she'd flake out, I would stop talking to her. But all of a sudden she would start 'liking' everything on my Facebook page. I guess that's her half-assed way of apologizing. She did apologize (sort of) for the vacation incident. Every time I would stop talking to her she would start paying attention again. I would NEVER treat a friend this way - it was to the point of tears yesterday. What would you have done? Did I overreact or was this an appropriate way to handle it? I will not be friends with her after this, but I am struggling with understanding WHY she does this. I'm trying not to internalize it, but it's hard not to. Link to comment
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