frree Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 This is weird, but I feel weak if I show interest in women in a sexual way. Like I feel less of a man by doing so. It's because I don't want people to assume I'm a slave to any women. So I stay single and don't bother even chatting up women because of this. I'm aloof and rather intimidating. People often say am I okay because I always look pissed off. I don't smile because it makes me feel weak and less manly. I'm attracted to women but don't want to show I am because it feels humiliating and makes me feel weak. For instance, I avoid even talking to women in public if it is interpreted as me showing interest. Not because I feel inferior or unworthy, but because I feel inferior by doing so. So I come accross as cold, unfriendly and uninterested. I also don't like that as a man I have to make the first move. Because to me it seems like being submissive. Like I'm the one who has to get her interested and I don't like that. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I think you're confusing manliness for insecurity. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I second the motion. To interact with woman is to risk rejection to be confident enough to take this risk is to be manly. >.>b Link to comment
annony Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Making the first move is a sign of dominance, not submission. Think of it like the hunter and the hunted. Link to comment
frree Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 I second the motion. To interact with woman is to risk rejection to be confident enough to take this risk is to be manly. >.>b I couldn't care less about rejection. By making the first move I am submitting myself. I am the one looking for approval (at least that's how it seems). I am therefore making myself weaker and inferior. If someone rejects me they're the loser not me. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Wow. Simply wow. You are saying that by saying "hello" to a woman whom you don't know is submitting yourself to her. Do you feel the same way about your interactions with men? Link to comment
frree Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Making the first move is a sign of dominance, not submission. Think of it like the hunter and the hunted. Not it's not. That's not how it seems to me. It seems more like this."I'm a pathetic weak man. I'm a slave to my hormones and I'll do anything for love and sex with a woman, and that includes talking crap and wasting my money". No there's no hunting involved. I see most of my fellow males as a joke to be honest. Link to comment
frree Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Wow. Simply wow. You are saying that by saying "hello" to a woman whom you don't know is submitting yourself to her. Do you feel the same way about your interactions with men? No it's different. I have no interest in having sex with men so it doesn't matter. Same if it was a very old woman. I didn't get along with other men that well though. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I couldn't care less about rejection. By making the first move I am submitting myself. I am the one looking for approval (at least that's how it seems). I am therefore making myself weaker and inferior. If someone rejects me they're the loser not me. Going after what you want because you want it is manly. If your goal is to get it, then it's not submission of any kind. If your goal is approval, then I could see where you're coming from. I can see what you mean about other typical guys who drop bills buying drinks and trying every corny pick up line in the book because they're reeking desperation and just want to get laid. But that's not you, right? Link to comment
annony Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Not it's not. That's not how it seems to me. It seems more like this."I'm a pathetic weak man. I'm a slave to my hormones and I'll do anything for love and sex with a woman, and that includes talking crap and wasting my money". No there's no hunting involved. I see most of my fellow males as a joke to be honest. If you are not willing to change your outlook, then you are not willing to change your situation. Ever heard the quote by Albert Einstein "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ? Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Hi frree, I have to ask, was there a time when, after something happened to you, you starting to think this way? I ask because your mentality seems very outside the normal range with this. My suggestion is to go see a therapist to either a) Discover why you think this way and how to break out of it. Or b) Find a way to engage women that doesn't make you feel "weak" Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 No it's different. I have no interest in having sex with men so it doesn't matter. Same if it was a very old woman. I didn't get along with other men that well though. I am trying to understand this. Do you think that every woman (elderly excluded) thinks that in talking with you, means you are thinking of having sex with her? And if you don't get along with other men, is it also safe to assume that you don't have any women that you consider purely friends. Two questions: did you grow up without siblings? And how old are you? Link to comment
Angler Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 It seems more like this."I'm a pathetic weak man. I'm a slave to my hormones and I'll do anything for love and sex with a woman, and that includes talking crap and wasting my money". No there's no hunting involved. Here's the thing...men deal with crap from women, and women deal with crap from men precisely because of hormones and sexual desire. I see most of my fellow males as a joke to be honest. The ones that are getting dates? We're all going to strike out more times than hitting a homerun. Don't let that stop you from stepping up to the plate. Link to comment
frree Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 I am trying to understand this. Do you think that every woman (elderly excluded) thinks that in talking with you, means you are thinking of having sex with her? And if you don't get along with other men, is it also safe to assume that you don't have any women that you consider purely friends. Two questions: did you grow up without siblings? And how old are you? No, but in a club they might. So I avoid such places. Too many drunken idiots. I don't have any women friends and I don't want any. I have no interest in having girly chats with women. And I do have brothers and a sister. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Well, unless your are will to admit your thinking is flawed I for see you being single for the rest of your life. Do you even want a relationship of any kind? Link to comment
Angler Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 There's something more to your story. Something that you may not be aware of, or refuse to acknowledge. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 ^ Yeah, wondering same thing. If you're content being so manly, then why did you come here? Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I am surprised you have a sister, and such skewed views of women. I totally agree that a club atmosphere is not conducive to any meaningful start to a conversation let alone anything else. However, I have several male friends w/ whom I have no girly chats --- we talk about sports, work, working out -- or news in general. I think it would help you to no end to think of people as people, and not judge them by their sex. Link to comment
frree Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 The ones that are getting dates? We're all going to strike out more times than hitting a homerun. Don't let that stop you from stepping up to the plate. Yes the ones who are getting dates. I see them as a joke and I tell you why. Because yes, they may well be getting sex and all that, but you know what, they surrendered themselves, they didn't hunt nothing. They initiated conversation like soppy fools. It's not about being rejected. Why should I care if someone isn't interested in me? Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Being friends with women don't mean that they involve "girly chats". I'm not girly at all and I have male friends that I share interests with...gaming, TV shows, smoking "stuff", etc. My boyfriend and I were friends for a long time prior to dating. If you can't relate to women as people and hold normal "friend" conversations with them, I don't see how you will ever be successful with relationships. I know guys and girls who are like you and are either unable/unwilling to have opposite sex friends because they can't even TALK to the opposite sex in such a way and they are usually woefully single. Gee, I wonder why. Link to comment
frree Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 There's something more to your story. Something that you may not be aware of, or refuse to acknowledge. Enlighten me. Link to comment
annony Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 What exactly are you looking for then? Are you happy with things the way they are? Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Do you consider your father a "joke" like all other men who get women? Link to comment
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