givinggirl Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Men how do you feel about the woman bringing up the exclusivity topic? Does your stance change if you're dating multiple people? Link to comment
chai714 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 If I was into a girl and she wanted me exclusively and she brought it up, great. When you're dating multiple people, you will naturally gravitate toward the one you like most. So yes, my stance changes if I'm dating multiple women. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I think it's great. No, my stance would not change if I was dating multiple people. That would not be relevant to me at all. What is important to me is that she was honest about her feelings and able to communicate them. Of course that's no guarantee that I'll feel the same way, but I'd rather know what it is that she truly wants. Link to comment
Glowguy Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 If I was into her I probably wouldn't be dating other people anyway and would happily agree. If I was on the fence and dating others then I still wouldn't mind but I would probably push for some more time to make the decision. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 A women bringing it up wouldn't turn me off in the least. Then again, if I wasn't looking for an exclusive relationship and she knew this and asked anyway...it probably would! It mostly depends on the circumstances. If I'm dating multiple people and one of them wants exclusivity then I make a decision at that point. It might change, might not. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I dont see a problem with a girl bringing up the exclusivity discussion. If I was dating multiple people and one of the girls brought it up I wouldnt have an issue with that either, but just bringing up the conversation doesnt mean it will have a positive outcome or the one the girl wants. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Lol, just wanted to say thank your for this thread. This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Is there some unwritten rule I'd never heard of that says it's the mans responsibility to initiate this discussion? To me it should be initiated by whoever feels this way first, regardless of their gender. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Girls are taught growing up that its the man who should bring this up. Watch any romance movie, its ALWAYS the guy who will ultimately ask that girl to be "his". Same with romance books. Everything tells girls growing up: Wait for him to ask! Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 If I was into a girl and she wanted me exclusively and she brought it up, great. When you're dating multiple people, you will naturally gravitate toward the one you like most. So yes, my stance changes if I'm dating multiple women. I don't know if he's dating multiple people, but if he is, he's seeing me the most. Does that mean he's naturally gravitating towards me? Or is it just that I'm the closest and convenient? Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Girls are taught growing up that its the man who should bring this up. Watch any romance movie, its ALWAYS the guy who will ultimately ask that girl to be "his". Same with romance books. Everything tells girls growing up: Wait for him to ask! Exactly and us girls don't want to screw it up by being the one to bring it up if people believe it's the man's role. Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 If I was into her I probably wouldn't be dating other people anyway and would happily agree. If I was on the fence and dating others then I still wouldn't mind but I would probably push for some more time to make the decision. How much time do you think you'd need? Link to comment
Glowguy Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't know if he's dating multiple people, but if he is, he's seeing me the most. Does that mean he's naturally gravitating towards me? Or is it just that I'm the closest and convenient? It could be either. You'll just have to have the discussion and find out or wait for him to bring it up. If it's the latter then he probably won't bring it up at all. I would need a month tops. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Exactly and us girls don't want to screw it up by being the one to bring it up if people believe it's the man's role. That's funny, I've never heard this before, but I also don't watch romance movies or read romance books unless forced to and then my mind is elsewhere. Shows you what a massive disconnect there is between the sexes. Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 I dont see a problem with a girl bringing up the exclusivity discussion. If I was dating multiple people and one of the girls brought it up I wouldnt have an issue with that either, but just bringing up the conversation doesnt mean it will have a positive outcome or the one the girl wants. That is true, but if that is what I want, then knowing that sooner rather than later would be better. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 That's funny, I've never heard this before, but I also don't watch romance movies or read romance books unless forced to and then my mind is elsewhere. Shows you what a massive disconnect there is between the sexes. Lol, ya, I think it goes back to the expectation that the man should propose. We extend that mentality to the start of the relationship. Women are constantly told that they should be chased by the guy not the other way around. We also worry about coming off as clingy. Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Lol, ya, I think it goes back to the expectation that the man should propose. We extend that mentality to the start of the relationship. Women are constantly told that they should be chased by the guy not the other way around. We also worry about coming off as clingy. Agree. There's a whole bunch of issues that go along these same lines. Link to comment
tmtex Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Well like others have said, if you like her then YES and better be the same way around. Link to comment
Notagoodninja Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Excellent post! I have always wondered!! Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Thanks. I read this earlier today Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 The one time I brought it up first was the only relationship that, while serious and not too short term (almost 5 months -we were in our 30s), ended because he was not that into me and I believe that was why in the first place he didn't bring it up (and agreed in part so that I would sleep with him). Link to comment
givinggirl Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 The one time I brought it up first was the only relationship that, while serious and not too short term (almost 5 months -we were in our 30s), ended because he was not that into me and I believe that was why in the first place he didn't bring it up (and agreed in part so that I would sleep with him). Did he hesitate when you brought it up? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.