wannadoitright Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Hi, I really need help as I am slowly losing it. I have been dating this guy for 3 months. He is 37 and I am 23. He is a medical resident and also has a son that lives with his mother about 5 hours away. The relationship started off pretty great with him showing me such an awesome time and us spending time together. Lately, he has been so busy with work and he goes to see his son every other weekend. At the beginning stages, he used to make it a point to see me as soon as he got back but as time went on things just kept getting in the way. In the entire 3 months we've been together, our time spent together is usually him coming to sleep over at my house and bolting out first thing in the morning--about twice a week. We never spent a single weekend together because he is either on call or when he isn't, he goes to visit his son. My birthday was a month ago and it was terrible. He forgot his phone at the hospital and I had no idea what happened even though he had asked me to brunch. I spent the whole day crying because I couldn't get a hold of him and I was so mad. I guess with him being away so much and us not spending time together I began to doubt if he was even into the relationship. Last weekend, he was away for Halloween with his son and he got back on Monday night. I had the expectation that we were going to see on Tuesday but he didn't call or text me the entire day. I eventually called him at night and I was clearly upset and he was very defensive and started narrating to me how bad his day was. All I wanted was a text or something. We ended up not seeing each other the entire week and that hurt me so bad and made me really doubt if he was invested in the relationship. He asked me to come over to the hospital where he was on call on Saturday to see him but I felt that he was just squeezing me in when it was convenient for him. He usually complained about how far it was to get to me from where he works during the week and that just hurt me cause I expected that if he wanted to see me bad enough he'll try at least once a week. It always seemed that he saw me only when he had something to do around where I live. Anyway, I went to see him yesterday after telling him via text how I always felt like the "2nd bird"---from the saying "kill two birds with one stone". He really downplayed my feelings and always made me feel troublesome when I tried to tell him that I wasn't happy with the way things were. The relationship was too shallow and it was all about him sleeping over at my house once a week on average without any other meaningful activity. May I add that we never talk over the phone and exchange maybe 6 texts a day or less. During the time at the Hospital (in the residents lounge), he felt so distant. I eventually fell asleep and left very early the next morning. I was hoping that before he signed out of work he'll text me or at least stop by to see me cause I am 5 minutes away but he just never does! Later that evening I got so emotional cause I felt that he just wasn't into the relationship. I then texted him that "I can't do this anymore" and by "this" I meant "us". He was angry that I did it by text. I called him today and he told me how he had planned for us to see a show tomorrow and that I ruined it. He bought tickets for my birthday and again for tomorrow to make it up to me but I just didn't know he was even thinking about me like that! icon_sad: He said he was over it and that he wanted us to try a bit longer and he sees that I don't think it is worth it and he blocked me from calling or texting him. I really regret what I did but he never showed any real signs that he even really cared about me or made me feel special. He even said to me last week Wednesday that he didn't want to hang out with me because I was being all mad and moody but that was only because I missed him so much over the weekend and he ignored me for the whole day when he got back. Now he is not talking to me and I can't call him or text him. His brother told me he left the city to see his son even though he was supposed to leave on Wednesday morning and he would be gone the entire week. I am not even sure how I feel anymore. I called with every single phone I could lay my hands on and e-mailed him a bunch of times but he isn't even responding. I have gone as low as I can and now I just don't know what to do or how to feel. Have I been overly selfish? I would have been more understanding if I was not in so much doubt of his commitment as we spent very little time together. What should I do next? I am such a mess. I had to skip classes all day and I'm in such a bad emotional state cause I feel like I ruined it all. Advice? comments? thank you all Link to comment
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