The end of the toughest week of my life! My Father is dead!

[whatuk]

This quite possibly has been the toughest and hardest week of my life.

Last Sunday as I posted about here ( link removed )

Was my Godson's 2nd birthday hard because I was shut of his life 9 months ago being told "I don't need you anymore I have my boyfriend now".

 

Tuesday was my 20th Birthday I woke up at 5am. Not because I was excited but because I heard my Dad screaming in pain. I went to him and woke up my Mum who called an Ambulance at about 5:30am he went into St Georges Hospital. Where he underwent tests. He was put onto the surgical assessment ward awaiting further scans and tests.

 

He never got the scan done on Tuesday partly due to a Bank Holiday backlog and partly because the Hospital was struggling to control his breathing, as I left him at about 8pm on Tuesday night he was in pain but apart from that was chatty and seemed ok.

 

The next day my Mum went up to the hospital in the morning and again he was chatty and the pain control given had started to kick in. We were told to call in the afternoon which we did, we were told he had gone down for his scan. We later called back to be told he was ill and he wanted us at the hospital. We get there and the change was unbelievable. He had swollen to twice his size. He was incoherent shouting God Bless America, saying goodbye and wondering what he had done to deserve what was happening to him. He was struggling to breath even with the aid of a mask. We were told that either he had suffered a ruptured Gall Bladder or another part of his bowel had died, whatever the cause fluid was seeping out of his stomach, his only chance was surgery.

 

After spending 4 hours waiting at the hospital we were told that he couldn't have the surgery immediately due to the his blood levels being too low so his blood wouldn't clot during surgery. We were also told it would be a minimum of 4 hours before the IV fluid designed to increase blood count would take effect.

 

We go home and at about 3:15am Thursday we get a call saying his breathing had deteriorated and there was no chance of him surviving surgery and that he would die. I decided I wanted to say goodbye so my Mum and myself go to the hospital at 4am to say our goodbyes. He looked so peaceful like he was sleeping normally as they had given him morphine to get him comfortable. We leave at 6am and then at 1pm we get another call saying we were to get to the hospital ASAP. My cousin who had come over gave us a lift but unfortunately he had died just before we got there.

 

To say this was a shock is an understatement. There was no prior indication anything was wrong before Tuesday, in fact on Sunday he was as happy as he had been in ages making all these plans for things he wanted to do, cracking jokes.

 

Friday I had to go to the Town Hall to cancel my University funding as I have to go to work now and support my family. But I decided to go to a Jewelers and get a watch my Mum and Dad had brought me for my BDay adjusted so I could wear it. It was an Aresnal watch (my favourite Football/Soccer team) the Jeweler starts his work and then notes to his assistant

"We got an Gunner here."

She replies: "Someone has to be are they all as glum as him?"

I was so angry I swear I nearly bit a hole in my tongue.

 

I can't believe this week, my Dad and I had all these plans for the future he was going to fund me through some further education I wanted to do outside of Uni, he was going to teach me to drive. He was someone that I truly didn't know how much I needed in my life and how much I appreciated him until he is gone!

 

There are so many things I never got to say to him and so many things I regret saying and doing. I can't believe he is gone!

[TheDoctor]

Keep your head up man, you'll be in my prayers.

[Protex]

You have my deepest sympathy.

 

You will be in my prayers as well.

[tiffany82]

I am also sorry to hear of your loss.

[Mun]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and your family.

[Jsphsl4204]

I am truly sorry to hear about your loss... You and your family will be in my prairs...

[Scout]

Whatuk, I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know this is a terrible shock to you, and there is nothing that can be said that will really help at this time. But please do post on here as much as you need to. We're here for you.

 

- Scout

[lostNheartbroken]

As a person who's lived through the same situation I can tell you life does go on, but it's the most painful thing you and I have experienced in this life. Take it day by day, don't dwell on the moments you won't have together. Cry, talk with someone close and let your emotions out, it will help you advance the stages of healing. Appreciate the time you did have with him, I lost my dad when I was 10, we went skiing, he dropped me off at home and had a fatal stroke. I'm sure you have a lot to thank your father for, and even if he's gone from this physical life, he'll always have a place in your heart.

[User203]

It's extremely hard to imagine what your going through. Your in my prayers man. This post really got to me i teared up just reading this. His soul will rest in peace and you will see him in your dreams and memories, he'll never leave you as long as you love him. Keep your head up, you can get past this.