I need help with this REALLY confusing situation....

[alwayslost]

I have known this girl for about six months, and our relations can be described as friends, but we constantly flirted with each other throughout all that time. I like her, and i know that she likes or at least liked me at some point before, because i told her how i felt and she told me that she liked me as well. She had a boyfriend until about a few months ago, and she just doesnt want another boyfriend because she apparently doesnt find relationships to be too exciting. However me and her still flirt with one another, and i constantly feel that she giving me hints that she wants something from me that is more than friendship, maybe it just seems to me that way and nothin is happening, but sometimes when we are alone we act as if we are not friends but more than that, for example we were kissing a number of times, but after that she acted as if nothing is happening. Also, she never really hangs out with me outside of school, because she just doesnt feel like seeing me too often. Maybe she is just playing around with me and has no intentions for me whatsoever??? If anyone has advice on what this sounds like and what i should do, please reply!!!

[Gilgamesh]

I would recommend not pushing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing on her, just be her buddy.

 

Date another girl, and see how she reacts. if she wants you, youll know soon enough.

 

She may have been hurt in another relationship, and is afraid of commitment to having another boyfriend right now. but then again, she may only like you as a friend and in this case will string you along with hopes, and then someday she will fall for some other guy and hurt you bad.

 

Id say, date some other girls, if she gets jealous or starts wanting to be with you more, than you know she likes you more than a friend and is just afraid. if she doesnt give a flying hoot, then she just thinks of you as a buddy.

[good_f]

Maybe she's afraid to set herself free to love because she might be hurt from her previous relationship.Just give her some time and if she is really interested in you she will be yours as long as she's cured from the pain of her previous relationship!

[RobzGr8]

Hey Bro,

Got your message...read your post...here to help!! Okay...first of all, it always S UCKS when you meet a girl you are interested in and she has a boyfriend. That's an instant no win situation. If you meet a girl and she has a boyfriend, you are immediately put into the friend catagory, and thereforeeeeeee you are dead in the water when it comes to ever being with her. And, I know what you did...you waited around for her to break up with her boyfriend in the HOPES that in all the time you've spent with her that she would realize what a great guy you were and then go out with you... common mistake...never happens. Ever.

 

So, you want to know what to do, eh? Here goes...pay attention now...this MIGHT get you to where you wanna be with this chick...

 

Oh...first off, it's ALWAYS a good idea to just be friends with this girl and find another one to be with, but I know you got designs for her, so instead of pushing you in THAT direction, I'll tell you the best way to score with this one...

 

1.) STOP BEING HER *beep* FRIEND!!! RIGHT NOW!!!! STOP!!! You are no longer available to her. You are no longer her shoulder to cry on, best friend, the guy she can "tell everything too...blah blah blah..." You've JUST QUIT!!

 

2.) Since she's made out with and all, she is obviously attracted to you to some degree and feels comfortable around you...so let's capitalize on that. The problem here is that she treats you the way she does because she knows you will always be around!! She can blow you off for days and when she feels like talking or making out again, you're dumb enough to run back to her like the desperate little imp she thinks you are!! She has you wrapped and she knows she can crack the seal whenever SHE wants cuz you'll be right there WAITING for her to do it.

3.) Stop being so available...here is how. (Oh...a little side note here...you are right now going to do something to this girl that no one has ever done before...REJECT HER A SS!!!) First...and you might have to wait a bit for this...but the next time you are making out, break away from her and tell her straight out..."Look...I need to know where all of this is going. (ever hear that before? That's chick-speak...you're gonna use it on one of THEM now) "You know I like you and want to be with you, but I'm not gonna wait around forever for you to decide if you want to be with me. There are other girls I talk to beside you, and I don't want to waste my time here." She will either tell you fine...bye. Or she'll try to come up with some BS reason why she's stringing you along. If she tells you bye, cool...you wanted it that anyway. If she tries to give you some BS excuse, hit her with this, and I mean cut her off in MID SENTENCE "I'm sorry...I just can't be in a relationship like this." Then, grab your stuff and LEAVE. If she tries to get you to come back...DON'T. You're trying to put up a front on her and if you crumble and go back to LISTEN to her BS, she'll know she still has you wrapped.

 

4.) After this, ignore the bejesus outta her. If she tries to talk to you, you are always busy or late for class or even better, you have to go talk to some girl and you don't have time for her. Don't except her phone calls. Don't talk to her in class...NOTHING!! Do you get what I'm saying here? Remember how YOU felt all those times she did this to YOU?!?! Payback baby...she'll be feeling it...if she cares. (we ARE going off the assumption that she does...all girls want attention, right? If you aren't giving it to her, then something is wrong with HER and she'll go crazy trying to make you like her again for her own self esteem issues)

 

5.) Here is the important part. If you don't here from her, then you know she could care less and then it was never meant to be. But, if she suddenly starts calling you everyday and trying to talk to you everyday (which you WILL NOT ALLOW!!! Don't be a *beep* and cave on me bro.) then you will let her suffer for NO MORE THAN A WEEK. Remember...you're showing her who the boss is here...and it ain't her...no more. But if you let it go too long...she'll find someone else.

So, if after a week she is still sweating you about what's wrong, and can we talk, and blah blah blah blah blah, then you tell her one last time, "Look...I told you that I like you and want to be with you, but if you don't want the same, I'm not going to waste my time. I got enough friends. So, if you want to be with me, then you need to start acting like it, and if not then we should just move on."

 

I know...I know...you're probably thinking "wow...Robz a total D ICK!!" But believe me...it works. But it only works if a girl is into you. If not, then you're not going to get anywhere anyway. But, remember...I am assuming that she wants to be with you...in SOME form. You don't always have to be "boyfriend and girlfriend" to have sex with someone. And if she doesn't want the confines of a "relationship" then just tell her, "Me either...I just want someone to hang out with and make out with and blah blah." But you want someone who won't blow you off and not call you. MAKE THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR TO HER. Let her know that from now on, SHE is going to have make an effort...cuz you are done.

 

That should do the trick man. Try it...and report back to me. Just remember to be strong...and act like a man. Girls want a guy who will tell them what to do without TELLING them what to do. And, girls want a guy who will put them in check when the need it. In other words...girls want a man. You just gotta act like one. I know it's hard now cuz you want a girl so bad you can taste it, but if you walk around with the stink of death on you (desperation persperation) no girl will touch you. Remember...girls always want what they can't have. So, you just have to make her think that you are no longer something she can have. It'll work man...I've done this a million times. Success depends on only one thing...if she digs you...if she digs you, then you are in. You just gotta use some game. If she isn't into you...then you move on.

GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY HUNTING!! And, if it doesn't work, come back and I'll tell you how to get that OTHER girl you become interested in. But, come to me FIRST...don't talk to her until you know what to say....I'll be waiting...HAVE FUN!!!

[jarhead]

DON'T take Robs advise. If you do that'll end all hopes you have with her. Girls don't want to be treated like dirt. And trust me they don't like being to what to do that much. Yeah you can confront her, but don't treat her like dirt. If this girl is popular and all and she is making out wiht you enjoy it. Even if you don't go out with her, it still makes you popular and then the other popular girls come for you and well you what i'm saying. So to sum up, choose wether or not to confront her, if she doesn't want to be with you, end it but don't rip her heart out. If you don't milk her for all it's worth. Figuritively speaking of course. so good luck and don't listen to Rob if you have you're skrewed.