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nightmares and anxiety

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gah,,, i know this is childish but i just had a NIGHTMARE and need some solace. i had a dream i was in the area of my apartment (it's downtown so sometimes a lot of bums wandering...overall just a lot in my city) and well... my dream was me being raped and hit/abused by multiple transient men. like one punched me, then urinated on my while i was on the ground and proceeded to rape me. one of the worst dreams i have had. during the dream i couldn't contact any family....


i think i had this dream because....

i live with my brother and his partner of 15 years. his partner of 15 years went out with friends, while my bro and i stayed in and watched a scary movie (ugh, i know)... and then came back with a guy! (they sometimes have an open relationship, but no sexual activity occurred) anyway, this guy doesnt drink, but was out at the bar and it was either, "he sleep on the couch or make a 3 hr drive back home"...dangerous because of the ice.... but DUDE. who knows this guy!?


i tried waking my brother up because i was so scared upon waking. he didn't rouse, so i left him. i have to get up in two hours. trying to calm myself so i can sleep. i have anxiety and now i'm paranoid i feel this way for a reason... in my rational hours i have used rideshare, met people from craigslist etc....



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