Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to find excuses, but I'm not an alcoholic.I'm the kind of kid that doesn't do stupid things, that has good grades and friends and does volunteer work. but apparently when I do screw up, I screw up big...I know it's a stupid question but with the morning after pill the chances of getting pregnant are close to 0, right? Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 How old are you, if I can ask? Am assuming college age. I'm not an alcoholic....I don't drink.at all.or at least I didn't use to. it's just that the last 2 months have been extremelly difficult and busy for me, I had some problems with school and my family and I don't know, it all happened so fast.I just lost control and didn't know when to stop. I'm gonna stay away from clubs and alcohol for a while...a long while Good decision. We here don't think any less of you, BTW. This happens all the time and is completely understandable. You have lots of regrets here. I've been there. I have lots of regrets as well, as I've posted. Married a woman similar to me in terms of little sexual experience. Outside of several times in HS, had sex all of 2X 19-29. My wife only had a former fiance after engagement years before we met... The experience I linked to earlier, I consider that similar to your experience.... in terms of mistake or error in judgment. Mine may be worse, I dunno... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's not that...I really meant it when I said that I wasn't trying to find excuses.I guess the thing is I think less of myself at the moment...I need a few days... what was your experience like? Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Thanks for your support.honestly.I guess I was just disappointed with myself for getting drunk and doing stupid things. I wasn't saving myself for marriage,it's just that I trully would have preferred it to happen in a different way. I took the morning after pill just to be on the safe side, I don't remember if he used a condom, that's probably part of why I was so ...I don't know...frustrated...freaked out...I don't rememeber the entire night.He was drunk too,although not as wasted as me. I trully am an idiot. Callalily, most people want their first time to be special, but virginity is not some precious treasure that needs to be guarded safe for the right person to give it away to. When you meet the right person, sex will still be just as special. Virginity doesn't matter. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's not that...I really meant it when I said that I wasn't trying to find excuses.I guess the thing is I think less of myself at the moment...I need a few days... what was your experience like? Understand completely. Don't be so hard on yourself, though. You're still a Good Girl, if that's your worry. This just proves you're human, after all. He may have made some promises to you so you fell for his lines. May try to respond to you via PM when you get privileges, which I think may come within a few more posts. Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's not about me being a good girl...maybe I just overeacted...it wasn't the smartest decision I have ever made...it's just when you wake up in the morning and you try to put the pieces together and remember what you did...it's a horrible feeling Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's not about me being a good girl...maybe I just overeacted...it wasn't the smartest decision I have ever made...it's just when you wake up in the morning and you try to put the pieces together and remember what you did...it's a horrible feeling How old are you? Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 I wasn't treasuring my virginity...I was almost raped when I was younger...I managed to run,and since then it's been hard to date and to trust and to have a healthy relationship...and now this...it was kind of extremely fast Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 20....I know, late bloomer Link to comment
Lonewing Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's ok... Now I was 25 when I lost mine. I kind of wish I had lost it younger - to a better woman - and it would have been a whole different road map versus where I am now. In my case, a better map. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 20....I know, late bloomer 20's not a late-bloomer, though many young 20-somethings think so. Not everyone has sex before then. I did, of course, (@17) but really wish I hadn't.... Not that I'm some great guy, but wasn't really thinking of sex at that time, was just happy to go out with her and kiss and hug, etc. ....until she told me "I never tried anything...." So I started going farther. Next thing you know, we go off a cliff, though I could have stopped of course. Fortunately, a condom scare scared me, realized we didn't need to be doing that and asked her if we could stop. Could have had to get married in HS. Dodged a bulet there... Maybe I was naive, like that time behind the skating rink as a HS freshman, the girl I was with seemed to want me to do more..... Knew some friends in HS and college that were virgins as well, so don't think you're some late bloomer... Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's ok... Now I was 25 when I lost mine. I kind of wish I had lost it younger - to a better woman - and it would have been a whole different road map versus where I am now. In my case, a better map. Wow. You lost your's @25 but wish you'd lost it earlier... to a better girl. If I could... I'd trade places with you (minus your girl), though I wouldn't recommend anyone have sex @17-18..... You really don't know what you want in life or what your life's all about @17..... Wished I'd lost mine later... to someone I was in love with.... I liked my HS GF, she was a great girl, but wasn't really in love. That wouldn't come until 26... Did have two separate casual (sex... no LM, there's a diff.) sex incidents @25.... within a month or two of each other with diff. women... Did some "everything...but" with a 28-y.o. virgin and a 34 y.o. less experienced woman in my late 20s.... so got some relief there... Met my future wife at 30... As both of us weren't "highly experienced," let's just say we didn't "hold back..." I felt no hesitation with her.... We waited for 4 mos. before getting sexually involved, though... Learned how to ML with a woman through her.... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 well Lonewing I guess you and I weren't so lucky the first time around... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 I guess nowadays if you tell someoneyou're 20 and a virgin the first impulse would be to laugh...not necessarely to believe you...I have friends who had sex at 13... Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 20....I know, late bloomer A friend's son is turning 30 and he's likely a virgin, though I haven't asked about his sexual experience. He and they tell me he only had 1-2 sep. dates in his life, but is now dating this nice older woman.... He may have been a loner, but he's no loser in his career and seems a likeable fellow.... Link to comment
Fantanos Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I guess nowadays if you tell someoneyou're 20 and a virgin the first impulse would be to laugh...not necessarely to believe you...I have friends who had sex at 13... I waited until I was 21.. it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I wanted to save it for marriage, I turned down a lot of beautiful women (we did the other stuff). When I was 21 I fell in love and let it go, I don't regret it because I loved her at the time. But waiting might have been good, because if I think about it, it wasn't as hard to resist then as it would be now because then I didn't know what I was missing... now I know what I am missing if I turn it down. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I have friends who had sex at 13... 13? That's crazy. Hope they don't say they lost their virginity @13-14. Of course, PHYSICALLY they lost it, but at that age, you don't really know who you are, much about sex, etc., so it's not like you had anything to give... male or female... Maybe like "age of consent..." laws. Some older guy having sex with a 16 y.o. Though she consented, she really wasn't ABLE to consent... I guess nowadays if you tell someoneyou're 20 and a virgin the first impulse would be to laugh...not necessarely to believe you... I never laughed or chuckled at a woman or man I learned was a virgin "at later ages..." That's their business and their life. Maybe they weren't ready, hadn't found the right person, was waiting for moral and religious reasons, didn't want STDs, pregnancy or end up with many kids having different fathers like one of their older siblings... Me living like a semi-virgin in my 20s gives me a diff. perspective... Was also "patient" with virgin women I dated in my mid- and late 20s. Never pressed them for sex or "expected" them to "put out" for me... Looking back, I see many opportunities in hugging, etc., on the couch where I could have "explored..." but for some reason, didn't. Even declined a few invitations bec. I didn't have feelings toward the other. Those declines came after the casual sex....so knew I didn't want more casual sex... Now, as I learn some may have passed-up Good Guys like myself and gone for those "bad boys", kinda wish I wasn't so shy and less forward... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 yes, 13 is now the age kids lose their virginity...they learn about sex at kindergarden and from the tv...I was a sort of freak for waiting this long... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 I have a friend that slept for the first time with a boy who didn't believe she was a virgin...when she blead he though she was having her period...nowadays losing your viginity at a tender age is in style... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 anyways...I'm not sure how to react towards te guy it happened with...I mean he called and was very casual and asked me out...but I just felt awkward...before everything happened...we kind of talekd about our relationship and how we shouldn't be together...and then this happened and...I don't know how to react... Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 yes, 13 is now the age kids lose their virginity...they learn about sex at kindergarden and from the tv...I was a sort of freak for waiting this long... Freak ??? Makes my having sex @17-18 look like I'm some sort or "role model" in comparison to 13 y.o.s. Yes, I honestly feel guilt over that action.... If I could do it again, wouldn't have done that, that's for sure.... The woman I married didn't have sex until her early 20s -- and that was after getting engaged, though I imagine her BF/ fiance likely pressed her... She tells me he wasn't a virgin... She was mid-30s when we met and didn't have sex again until me and like me, didn't have much success at dating -- until me. A career woman, maybe seeing her older sister get pregnant in HS affected her... Am in PM communication with a 20 y.o. virgin woman on this board. She wants to lose it... but has a lot of hesitancy... for religious and moral and other reasons... So you weren't some oddball or freak. There are many like you.. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 anyways...I'm not sure how to react towards te guy it happened with...I mean he called and was very casual and asked me out...but I just felt awkward...before everything happened...we kind of talekd about our relationship and how we shouldn't be together...and then this happened and...I don't know how to react... To make sure I understand, he has contacted you after you had sex? He wants to see you again? Would think that's a positive development, if I get the timeline right. Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 I'm happy things worked out for you and you met a woman that makes you happy...take care of your relationship... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 it happened saturday night...he called on tuesday...several times...wanted to see me...or at least that's what he said... Link to comment
Callalily Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 I feel like a stupid, silly little girl asking advice about this...I'm sorry for bothering you Link to comment
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