His secret lover made me think about myself! Thanks to her :)

[PrettyGood]

I explored my bf's blog and found some red flags about one girl he's meeting this weekend "for business purposes". He's gonna meet her in another city and he said he's gonna sleep at her house during this weekend because it's too expensive to rent a hotel. Also he assured me that there's nothing serious between them and he loves me and only me, but she has a crush on him. So the part of his words were truth telling. But today I've found out that she also has her blog on the same web. So I read almost everything there and found more of his comments where he's telling that she's his dream woman. I felt like it was some kind of cheating. I'm not going to cause some kind of drama.

 

First of all I knew about that woman a little bit. And my jealousy made me to hate her. But when I read her blog, I understood that comparing to me, she achieved much more than me and she's still doing great in her life - she's rich, she has her own company, she has bigger breasts, she's attending gym (no matter that I'm very slim comparing to her), she has that inner confidence, is happy of being single, has so many good friends, travels a lot, going to dates with great guys, know how to make a good looking delicious and very healthy food... So no matter how passionate and caring I'm comparing to her, I haven't achieved even half as her. And I don't judge her for that. She's really great woman! But I hate him that he tempted to meet her. Now I'm 90% sure that they're gonna have sex together this weekend and he's just covering all of the truth because he knows I took care of him and gave him all of my heart and emotional warmth. Maybe I'm some kind of "spare version" for him.

 

Thanks for that woman. Her life success made me think a lot of what am I doing with my life without depressing and thinking 24/7 about HIM. I don't want to be so desperate anymore. I know that I put myself into this position, but I can be happier and live a better life. I'm gonna go dating guys (now I feel I have this secret right too) and I'm not going to show him any signs of anger or desperation. Sooner or later - if they don't feel that "spark" between themselves, he will return to me. But then I will not be interested into him so much as before. I was blind. I'm going NC and I'm not going to show on any kind of chats where he can meet me.

[Hollyj]

Smart girl!!!!! You deserve better!

[meoww]

I understand what you're going through! I admire your strength. Please don't second guess yourself and fall back into being his plan b. You can make those changes and live a much more fulfilling life, and someday it won't even matter what he thinks of you.

[annie24]

you are making the right decision!!!!! stay strong. you deserve better than a cheating man.

[annie24]

by the way - if she is bragging about great she is on the blog, don't believe it all. people have secrets they never reveal....

[PrettyGood]

by the way - if she is bragging about great she is on the blog, don't believe it all. people have secrets they never reveal....

 

I'm almost sure that she's gonna brag about their date after the weekend, so there's a comments line - she gets a lot of comments. Should do such a manipulation and check his loyalty by writing a comment as some kind of unknown nickname like "So did you make love? Is he good in bed? He looks very nice man for you!" I would find out probably, cause she's replying to comments sometimes. At least I would be calm knowing that he was/wasn't cheating. I'm just so dead curious about it!

[Lester]

You said, "But when I read her blog, I understood that comparing to me, she achieved much more than me and she's still doing great in her life - she's rich, she has her own company, she has bigger breasts, she's attending gym (no matter that I'm very slim comparing to her), she has that inner confidence, is happy of being single, has so many good friends, travels a lot, going to dates with great guys, know how to make a good looking delicious and very healthy food... "

 

She has her own burdens to bear. This is all just materialistic nothing-ville. (Show me a truly happy rich person.)

 

 

You said, “So no matter how passionate and caring I'm comparing to her, I haven't achieved even half as her.”

Passionate and caring? Those two words are worth more than all the “stuff” in the world.

 

You said, “She's really great woman!” I doubt it. I’ve met them. There not great… lot of clay, hair and junk, but so sad... Divorce after divorce. (Pray for them.)

 

You said, “Now I'm 90% sure that they're gonna have sex together this weekend and he's just covering all of the truth because he knows I took care of him and gave him all of my heart and emotional warmth. Maybe I'm some kind of "spare version" for him.”

You’re instincts may or may not be right but don’t lower yourself to his or her level. You're not dirt under anyone’s feet. Think yuck.

 

You said, “Thanks for that woman. Her life success made me think a lot of what am I doing with my life without depressing and thinking 24/7 about HIM. I don't want to be so desperate anymore. I know that I put myself into this position, but I can be happier and live a better life. I'm gonna go dating guys (now I feel I have this secret right too) and I'm not going to show him any signs of anger or desperation.”

 

Take your time. It’s okay to mourn but I would suggest “creeped” out instead. Give thanks and pray. In time, (days for me), something will happen.

Leave your options open. Truly “great” men come in all types of packages, when you least expect them.

 

You said, “Sooner or later - if they don't feel that "spark" between themselves, he will return to me. But then I will not be interested into him so much as before.”

Don’t do that… instead think. Bite me.

[PrettyGood]

Lester, you're really intelligent man. I was impressed with your long reply. Thank you so much for not saving your time to write all of that. I really appreciate your words. Well, the biggest fear of mine is that most of guys are more interested in: "silicon breasts, peroxide white hair, long polished nails, short mini, sexy figure and big purse". I hope there are some men who are also interested in not so rich, but cute, caring and loving people like me

[notquitepsycho]

My breakup with an ex several years ago sounds eerily similar to yours, although instead of being an achiever in the financial sense she was artistic (something I'm not aside from a small interest in photography). He had me fooled until he left me, and I don't know if he ever met her in person before he left, but it was her blogs that told me they'd been having an emotional affair at the very least while we were still together.

 

We had been together five years. I was pretty darn messed up about the whole thing.

 

I'll share the wisdom I learned ... any woman who can allow herself to be the Other Woman has some kind of issue, even if it's not apparent on the outside. In my case, I learned this because it turned out she had been a prolific blogger and had not been careful about preserving her anonymity when she'd posted online in the past. What did I get for my overactive curiosity? A hearty laugh, an image that I will never get out of my head, and the knowledge she wasn't so perfect after all. (I don't feel like I violated any ethical rules since everything she posted was publicly available.)

 

Before you get tempted, What Has Been Seen Cannot Be Unseen.

 

And it really does get better. Good luck sweetie.

[PrettyGood]

Well now I really feel like some kind of spare variant, because I haven't heard anything from him today about business, just this reply:

 

"awwww thats nice to hear, no nothing to worry about babe. love you long time

 

And after then he posted on his fb that they're going to the cinema tonight. What a shame for me. Sometimes I'm really glad that no-one knows about me and him, because I would be fooled infront of everyone waiting for him while he's hanging with her and having me as a girlfriend. So I just thought, ok it's a LDR and before I left he promised that he's going to spend Christmas or New Years eve with me. And it would be time to buy plane tickets already while they're cheap (he doesn't like expensive things). So I wrote that we're going to talk about ordering his plane tickets for winter to visit me. I don't believe he will come but if he will find some kind of reason NOT to fly to visit me or to order these tickets, then I understand it as "there's no future between us baby" and dump him. I think somewhere I need to draw boundaries. Right?

[MissMazzi]

Wait..You're still with him despite finding all that information out?

Please please don't be a doormat. You will regret it.

 

Some people will disagree with me that he isn't quite cheating but, those comments would equate to emotional cheating IMO. Which is just as bad....And not only that, I find it hard to believe that a faithful guy would stay with another single woman like that.