Ex still dreams of me, and I don't dream of him at all?

[Tryptophan]

Ex sent me a text saying he was dreaming all of me last week.

 

The last dream I had with him was roughly two months ago and it was very short—I don't even remember it. At the beginning (of the breakup) I had only one that was really traumatizing (his best friend and him eating some food I had cooked for him). But other than that, the dreams haven't been part of my healing.

 

What do you think it means that I haven't dream about him much, and yet he still does? Obviously I've been on his mind or am I assuming too much?

 

Keep in mind it's been nearly 7 months since the breakup.

 

And just for the record, I didn't reply to him saying that. I've ignored his last couple of attempts at contacting me.

[In the Dark]

Some minds are more prone ot dreaming of the past than others.

That's how I would see it.

This in turn can cause someone to dwell over someone.

But still does not change reality.

 

I've had dreams about ex's from years ago.

Doesn't mean I want to be with them.

It's just my mind recalling fragments of my past for random reasons.

 

As to why your ex decided to tell you is a twist.

Maybe within those 7 months something relationship turned sour for him.

Maybe he is having a woman drought?

Maybe it is all made up?

[Tryptophan]

He's very prone to dreaming so I guess it doesn't mean anything. I think he probably still dreams of a girl he was with in 7th grade, but I guess I can't help asking ENA what they think it means lol.

 

I think he's decided to tell me because he's trying to get a reaction out of me since I ignored his other two attempts. Last month he's actually been trying even though the first 5-6 he was rather indifferent.

 

Weird man.

[symbiot]

Hey Tryp, I don't know why you don't have dreams about you ex. Its been right about mos for me too but I dream of her on a reg. basis. I just had a dream of the to of us doing diry things a few nights ago. I have lots of dreams of us together or getting back together or getting married....Right after the BU I had dreams of her telling me she hated me (which she did when I caught her) or her breaking up with me. How many times have you truly been in love?

[In the Dark]

He's very prone to dreaming so I guess it doesn't mean anything. I think he probably still dreams of a girl he was with in 7th grade, but I guess I can't help asking ENA what they think it means lol.

 

I think he's decided to tell me because he's trying to get a reaction out of me since I ignored his other two attempts. Last month he's actually been trying even though the first 5-6 he was rather indifferent.

 

Weird man.

 

Oh yeah ex's can be very weird to us when they think no one is knowing what they are doing besides you lol.

[annie24]

I'm very prone to dreaming. In addition, SSRIs increase vivid dreams. I dream of all sorts of things that I don't care about/would never do in real life. So I don't think that it really *means* anything. unless it is day dreaming while he is awake!

[Tryptophan]

He's the type to daydream as well, and I guess I have never been one to dream much at all. The fact that he was in my dreams 3 times during the breakup actually perplexed me because not even my own family has been in my dreams this much.

 

SSRIs actually didn't do that for me either, since it was in combination with a antipsychotic (was mostly for rumination)/sedative at night. So I wouldn't say there has ever been a time in my life where I had these too much.

 

I guess it has to do with people being very "inside of the box"? I'm a very logically-driven person, and dreams to me seem way out of the box. Just a theory, but either way it probably means nothing.

 

And how many times have I been in love? Not really sure what that means anymore.

[annie24]

well - that's the point - dreams aren't something that the conscious mind produces - it's the subconscious. It's fine to say that you are a logic driven person - but that is when you are awake. Freud had some interesting theories that dreams are your brain's way of processing the day's events and kind of figuring things out. I often have dreams with "reminants" of my day. For example, maybe I got an e-mail from an old friend, and I watched a cooking show on TV that day. I might dream about going to a restaurant with an old friend that night. That sort of thing. I recently had a dream that I wanted to kill myself, and even made an appointment at the doctor's officer where they performed assisted suicides. At the last minute, I changed my mind because I didn't want to impose on my coworker, who I knew was stressed out and she would have to pick up the slack at work.

[blackhawks1287]

Tryp,

 

I think it is time to just block his number, it seems that is the only thing that sets you back from healing 100%.

[Iakasot]

Tryptophan: He's probably having a harder time healing than you are. You did break his heart afterall.

[Tryptophan]

I've heard about that theory but if it's true we use them to process events of the day, then it might explain why I still think about him so much—besides the fact he still texts me. I don't know what would be worse though: to dream of him, or to think less about him, considering it's getting better now. Some people have some pretty crazy dreams so I think I might be better off.

 

I wish he just hadn't told me. * * * * head.

 

On another note, that dream sounds almost fun lol; see I don't have those dreams that are way weird. Mine are always very generic and realistic, boring.

 

 

 

 

 

True. I’m making that today’s goal. I had changed my number and one of our mutual friends didn't know it was practically because of the breakup and she gave it to him. I swear mutual friends make healing way better.

 

 

 

 

 

I did? Lol. Hopefully. That's all I can hope for here after he broke mine. I'll take rejection over cheating any day.

[symbiot]

I too would choose rejection over cheating.

[Tryptophan]

I too would choose rejection over cheating.

 

He cheated on me, I broke up with him. I was devastated, and I guess to an extent so was he. BUT— he had someone he knew very damn well to console him.

 

It irks me that he still even wants to talk to me lol. But good news: I blocked his number.

 

 

Not even my friends can have it. My real friends I always see but I'm afraid any of those supposed friends will give my number to my ex.

 

And hopefully he won't show up in my house. I'd call the cops lol.

[1guygirl]

 

 

 

 

I did? Lol. Hopefully. That's all I can hope for here after he broke mine. I'll take rejection over cheating any day.

 

ah take no notice, hes still pissed at his exes and so now all women are hated at camp iakasot *rolls eyes*

[blackhawks1287]

He cheated on me, I broke up with him. I was devastated, and I guess to an extent so was he. BUT— he had someone he knew very damn well to console him.

 

It irks me that he still even wants to talk to me lol. But good news: I blocked his number.

 

 

Not even my friends can have it. My real friends I always see but I'm afraid any of those supposed friends will give my number to my ex.

 

And hopefully he won't show up in my house. I'd call the cops lol.

 

Good for you!!! Yay! This will help you tremendously and YES, don't give it to those mutual friends...I mean why would they give it out in the first place...how inconsiderate.

 

And don't listen to iakasot...talk about being bitter against women and not knowing the full story.

[Tryptophan]

Iakasot is getting hated on bad haha.

 

I guess mutual friends like to make it harder for people. Who knows? But I'm really happy I blocked it. I felt some mad relief today. Thanks for the support!

[Iakasot]

Good for you!!! Yay! This will help you tremendously and YES, don't give it to those mutual friends...I mean why would they give it out in the first place...how inconsiderate.

 

And don't listen to iakasot...talk about being bitter against women and not knowing the full story.

She said he never cheated on her, and that she flirted with guys way more than he flirted with girls, and that she dumped him over being insecure and irrationally jealous. She's actually written this in a previous topic.

 

Is there something I missed? How did he cheat?

[Iakasot]

I read the topic, and it cut really deep, this in particular:

[Tryptophan]

Yeah I went through periods where I felt like I was the problem BUT that was just me trying to rationalize my ex's behavior because I loved him. But with time I've come to realize that it was probably both of us and unfortunately I was the only one that had the guts to see we were both wrong. More him than I, though. What happened with the other guy was in the period where we were half-broken up. We had taken a 'break', and during that break I went crazy with a guy that liked me—but I wasn't always hanging out with him like my ex hung out with his stupid "bff", keep in mind their emotional closeness. Then we got back together and I never told him. Nevertheless I felt like I cheated but god who knows the stuff he did when I wasn't around. I can't safely say I know who he is anymore.

 

I flirted with other guys, yeah, BUT I was never as close with anyone as he was with this other girl. And he never brought up anything about it bothering him because he just wasn't the "jealous" type. Maybe subconsciously I did it because I wanted to get a reaction out of him, because he never communicated his feelings to me. NEVER. I did tell him something about my "insecurities" about this other girl and he continued to hang out with her even more. So asides from not telling me how he felt, he was indifferent to my "insecurities".

 

Even after we broke up, when he wanted to be friends, he kept bringing her up. Talking about how they were "hanging out" and all this bull. Really...

[Tryptophan]

So I wish he would have ****** some other random girl. That would have been awesome and way better than the other stuff he did.

 

His bff was like his girlfriend and I was his **** buddy. I swear that's the way I felt sometimes. To me being so "emotionally" close to someone is worse than actually being with someone physically, particularly because he never had that "emotional" bond with me. Was he scared to expose his feelings to me? Maybe, but I didn't even know that.

 

And then he goes and pours his heart out to his "bff", for her to console him about "everything" he's going through in our relationship. And mind you, she had just broken up with HER ex. So what am I to think?

 

Damn I hate talking about this but I'm sorry it reminds you so much of your ex. Point blank is that you should maybe think about what YOU did wrong instead of blaming it on your ex and two, stop projecting your feelings onto people.

 

Sorry for the double post--ENA probation.

[Iakasot]

Didn't you say he treated you like gold and always gave you what you wanted and made sure you're okay if something was bothering you? But you held your anger in and didn't let him see it, so there was no emotional bond because you weren't open about it? Because you didn't want to upset him, but in the end it's his fault because he didn't care about something you didn't even tell him? Hardly seems fair... Also, I believe you said he spent more time with you than with her, so what was the problem? You said yourself that he gave you no reason to think that he cheated.

 

The other topic literally brought me to tears, because I could relate. I mean, I got dumped, and my heart broken, and I never cheated on her or abused her. But then she tried to make it my fault like "you would have abused in the future or dumped me even though you didn't during the relationship". But she never told me the full story of what the thought process was, and after a while she stopped telling me what she thought, because I would always be able to debunk it. Reading that topic, and seeing a thought process similar to hers, it just really hurt.

 

He isn't even dating her, is he? She probably told him he's too good a friend to risk it.

[jeremyy]

I haven't dreamt of my ex at all, fortunately. Don't even hope for it. She admitted to dreaming of me but I doubt it really means much.

[jeremyy]

Two words: man up.

[Tryptophan]

Iakasot — I quite frankly don't know what they're doing except for the fact she got a makeover to look like me. And they share same FB default pictures. That's about it.

 

Regardless, he ignored my feelings regarding their friendship.

 

Double-standard? Not really, but it's not like I wasn't hurt. I still cry over the fact he couldn't trust ME enough to tell me how he felt. It's not like I ever hurt him during the relationship. He himself said I was the best girlfriend he'd ever have, that no one could compare, and yet they felt like words without any action. Maybe he should have treated me as such.

 

And ever AFTER we broke up, there was no reaction from him other than... Oh wait, nothing. Just meaningless texts. Absolutely no expression of his feelings.

[Iakasot]

Iakasot — I quite frankly don't know what they're doing except for the fact she got a makeover to look like me. And they share same FB default pictures. That's about it.

 

Regardless, he ignored my feelings regarding their friendship.

 

Double-standard? Not really, but it's not like I wasn't hurt. I still cry over the fact he couldn't trust ME enough to tell me how he felt. It's not like I ever hurt him during the relationship. He himself said I was the best girlfriend he'd ever have, that no one could compare, and yet they felt like words without any action. Maybe he should have treated me as such.

 

And ever AFTER we broke up, there was no reaction from him other than... Oh wait, nothing. Just meaningless texts. Absolutely no expression of his feelings.

You yourself said he treated you like gold, and that he was open while you were closed off, which is what was making you feel bad for breaking his heart. He lacked expression in his feelings? Dumpees are supposed to look strong because that's their best chance of getting someone back, especially male dumpees. All him being weak and broken about it would have done is turn you off and make it easier for you to move on. Because it's harder to get over someone you're attracted to. I bet he doesn't think those texts are meaningless, because he actually put meaning and emotion behind them. It's not like you let him talk to you on the phone because you blocked his # and changed yours. Look, I read the back story, I understand why you felt hurt, but it makes no sense to blame it on him. You have a history of justifying your action in any way you can, like in the topic where you talked about the fake online relationships, you said you wouldn't feel bad if they got angry at you when you told them it was fake, because it wouldn't be YOU they were angry about. It's just justification, and turning stuff around on people. I've dealt with it a lot in past relationships so I know what it looks like.

 

For the record, I don't dream about exes, and I am not still "hurt", or need to "man up". Sometimes something you read hits a little bit close to home, and old emotions come out, so people need to stop attacking me and say "oh he's just bitter, don't listen to him". I know what I'm talking about.