I am sooooooooooooo sad! ;-(

[tristesse]

Hello to all of you.

I have finished writing the good bye and closure letter to my ex, and now thinking about sending it.. but a part of me is waitting I know once said, I can't no longer look back an will have to move n.

It hurts, it's been almost four months since I last saw him and it kills me. I miss him so much, and a part o f me wants all the things we had back. I know he's starting his life in Los angels, looking for a job and even has a new girl friend.. not officially but u know what I mean. And I ma here missing the one I once knew so much!

Sometimes I wonder if the pain ever goes away. If they ever do miss us too!

Anyway, just feeling sad and wanted to vent here a bit.

Kisses and hugs to all of u

[pink19]

I feel the exact same way as you do. My ex of 2 years broke up with me in March and he is seeing a new girl as well, and I miss him too. I am so sad that I actually feel consumed by my emotions. I miss someone who was so awful to me. It sucks and the only advice I can offer you is to send the letter. It's closure. I sent my ex a letter that said that I was not sending it for him, but for me. I told him that I didn't think he deserved to be happy and that he had hurt me more than anyone else ever had. I also told him I cared about him and would have done anythign for him. I wished him good luck in his life because I know we will never have any contact again. I proceeded to say that I was saying good luck not because I really wished good things for him, but because when I look back I will be able to say that I did not harbor resentment and said the things I needed to say, even if at this moment I didn't believe them. It was a release for me.

 

I do want to warn you that sending the letter is closure, but closure is hard. It really and truly solidifies the end and I have a hard time dealing with this. I for so long have been clingigng on to something that does not exist. Just know that you might send the letter, but things are not going to be perfect after that.

 

My sadness comes in waves. I know how it hurts. Try to hang in there

[royalwolf]

Your letter:

 

Remember that it is 99% for your own benifit. That being said, don't put anything in it that's vindictive, petty, or otherwise intended to hurt your ex. You will regret it then. He knows what he wants at this point, so you won't be able to convince him of anything new -- other than how you truly do feel. And in all honesty, you don't owe him that, either.

 

But the pain WILL go away. And this move, the closure, will speed that up immensely.

 

Put in the letter that you DO NOT want any response. That way you won't go nuts waiting for it.

 

Hope that helps!

 

Tom

[auburnslp]

hi Tristesse...

 

Listen to what Tom wrote...he is right, as was the post above his. It is closure, it is for you, and while it will not be an immediate end to the pain, it is a wonderful start. And as Tom wrote, I would also recommend that you include in the letter that you want absolutely no response-otherwise you will harbor a hope for one.

 

Sweet, closure is hard, but it is vital. Once we release the false hopes, we can begin to truly move on. I have learned this firsthand. A month and a half of absolutely no contact, and then two weeks ago learned that she is well on her way to a re-marriage to her ex husband...well that's closure. And I am so much better already, as will you be. Some days are still hard, some moments still sad, but sweet, most days and moments are now finally filled with renewed hope of finding the one eventually that was truly meant for me.

 

Closure serves those purposes, allows us to let go, heal, and hope again. I know it's hard sweet, but you will see, soon you will be the girl you were before...I will hope for you that it is very soon. Be strong sweet, and be well...Michael

[Mun]

Hello Tristesse,

This is possibly the first real step for you towards accepting what has happened and moving forward. It is very difficult to have to face this--I know how you feel . Be strong.

 

It is never easy to let go of the past, but we must. Only this way can we open the door to what the future holds for us. There is something real and good out there waiting for you Tristesse, let go so that it has a chance to find you. Do not let the past blind you to your future.

 

You must believe that you will be loved the way you want to be loved. Hold your head up high, love yourself, and it will happen.

 

Much love

[auburnslp]

and I will add...

 

Listen to Muneca

 

She is completely correct...and she has a huge heart...she is right.

 

Michael