dense fog of hurt and pain

[pink19]

My ex of 2 years broke up with me in March. We fough for a few months, kind of spoke, but I always had a hope that we'd get back together. I loved him and thought he was the one. He hurt me so much that I just started accpetd that we were not together and that we could maybe work thigns out, until last night. He called me last night whiel driving to go out to dinenr with a girl he is seeing. HE HAS REPLACED ME AND told me that he' rather not ever speak with me again then not be able to pursue her. OUCH. I felt a knife in my heart. How could he be so mean? How could he give up on us? He then had the nerve to call me back last night while he was with her. I heard herin the background. When I said is that her? He said yes. I hung up on him.

 

I have never felt so betrayed, rejected, and hurt at the same time. I don't want to be at work, at home, or doign anything. I have gone from angry to upset and now resentful and just upset again. I just feel sick to my stomach and hate him for hurting me so badly and bailing on me. I just feel so hurt-like he reopened a wound that was closing. I

don't think it's fair that he deserves to be happy.

It's like this year has just been BAD: i had a crap job, had

surgery, and now I got dumped on with just

plain mean spiritied behavior from someone that I cared so deeply for.

I hope one day he realizes that his actions

have consequesnces. IN the meantime, I am miserable. HELP!!

[BradensCreed]

all i can think to say, honestly, is he sounds like a big wad of horse crap. i dont think you deserve to be treated like that. id say forget about him. aparently he isnt worth your time. and i know it hurts. i think everyone has been there.

[hockeyboy]

it seems weird he would call u twice when with her. it sounds like she possibly put him up to it. i dont know though. but regardless, thats pretty heartless of him and i know exactly how you feel...it feels like the worse thing in the world and that you will never get over it. you will get over it though and youll be happier and stronger then ever before, meanwhile he will become weaker.

[CarterJonas]

It is best that you cut off all contact with him . This will give you the time you need to heal and to feel better. Remember that a lot of people go through a relationship breakup so you are not alone in this!

 

The dense fog will lift!

[PoloGirl]

At least now you know what type of person he is, and let that be the stepping stone in helping you recover. Pray about your situation. What goes around comes around.

[Scout]

No halfway decent guy would ever do something like that. That's not normal behavior. He sounds like an emotional abuser. I hope you can see that through the fog! RUN from this guy.

[kungfumaster]

I agree with everyone on this post - what a loser. Sure people break up, and its hard enough, but for him to do that - he is a poor excuse for a human being.

 

Take care - I hope you feel better soon.

Kung fu

[CC]

i understand how you feel. my ex started seeing a new girl within a couple of days (we were together for 7 years). sometimes people do things on the rebound - they are scared of being alone. my ex and his rebound chick didn't last very long - he told me things didn't work out (plus i was still sleeping with him - yes, stupid me)

 

i'm not saying that he won't be with her for long, i'm saying that he's moved on to someone else for attention and affection - and that i know is very painfu...you gotta think, do i want him back after what he's done? and if yes, what's to stop him from doing it all over again? what he did was very hurtful.

 

its hard to deal with but i'm sure you will get better....

 

one thing that helped me is to look at the whole break up as if it happened to your best friend. what would your advise be? will you tell her to go back or still have feelings for a guy that treated her badly? would you tell her to just hang on? the answer is probably no. .you'd tell her to try and heal and take the break up as a big lesson in life....so it that's what you'd tell her...then that's what you should do....hard to explain but that's the best i can say it...

 

hope this helps....please get better..

[pink19]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I really like the idea of thinking that the breakup is happening to my best friend- trying to be objective.

 

HE IS A JERK- I think we all concur on that one.

 

I just wish I could not care, that I could turn a switch in my heart to "off." I have these waves of sadness com over me and then waves of anger. It's an oscialltion between the two. I feel like the best thing right now is to focus on the moment and on myself and realize that I will get through this and he is as one of my friends would say "so not the stuff."

 

One hour at a time is about all I can do right now.....

[CC]

well knowing he is a jerk is a good start i guess....it is hard to think of the negative things but sometimes that is the easier than thinking how wonderful he was because it still hurts..

 

i agree with all the mixed emotions. i thought i was doing well until last night i just got really down and low about myself being alone - i do confess though it was because i asked for a lift from work from my ex. at times i feel the need to be with him or at least see him then when we say goodbye it hurts all over again.

 

we gotta stay strong. keep in touch and update me.

[pink19]

CC, It is the hurtng all over again that kills me. I explained it to a friend of mine and said it was like I had a wound that was finally healing and my ex reopened it and poured salt in it. That's how it feels. Friday night I was driving to a party and I just broke down sobbing in the car. I was alone and just let it all out. I cried my eayes out for 45 minutes. I then felt better. Really the weekend was not as bad as I thought it was going to be because I think I really let myself feel the hurt- something that I had been denying for so long.

 

My advice to evceryone is to cry when you need to. It's not a weakness. It's a necessity.

 

Love and prayers to all