My first one night stand but I really like the girl

[Senna]

I fear I may have had my first one night stand on friday. I went on a kind off date with this girl who I've liked for so long. By the end of the evening we left togther and I stayed the night at hers and had sex both of us were drunk but I did hear from one of her friends she really liked me.

 

Anyway the next morning it was a little tense we went to her friends for breakfast but we didn't really talk. i sent a text message on sunday just saying 'hi' but didn't hear anything back then I went round to one of my friends house last night and she was there (we both have the same friend) she knew I was going to be there so why bother turning up only to ignore me.

 

I really like this girl and hate the thought of it being just sex I really don't know what to do next if anything! I might add she's 32 so I'm not dealing with a younger woman. Have I just been used and abused

[Mun]

Hi,

She might be feeling weird with the situation and might be wondering if now you are only interested in her for sex.

 

Why don't you call her up, and ask her out on a "real" date. Texting to say "hi" sounds like you are a little scared. Don't be scared. If you really like her then give it a shot.

[Beec]

Can you see her again without calling her? And if so, can you arrange to get her by herself? If you can, that's what I would do.

 

I would call her on ignoring you. As if her if "we are ok" and ask her if there is a problem. Then tell her, "I sure hope not" and watch for her reaction, especially body language. If it is positive, tell her you are sorry that you both had too much to drink. Keep watching her reaction. Still good, tell her maybe if we do it again, we both can both agree no drinking. Still good, ask her when.

 

If you cannot do it in person, use the phone.

[Day_Walker]

If she was interested then she wouldnt have ignored you. The problem is that you missed the opportunity to be friendly with her after it happened. You started thinking about the situation instead of just taking it as something happened between you two and just moved on. If you really like this girl, consenting to the one night stand only brought your hopes up. You have now put urself in the position of wanting her even more. You cannot trust what her friend told you so pay no attention to it. If you want to salvage the relationship then you need to keep it friendly and build up her comfortability with you again. This means that you need discuss certain things with her but in a way so that it doesnt seem like you are chasing her. Tell her something like " I dont want the situation to get weird or strange, we can accept what has happened and still be friends". Obviously you have intentions of being more than a friend but this is what you need to tell her in order to increase her comfortability.

 

This is not something thats easy because it has to seem natural and you have to come off friendly and not that you want to get involved with her.