anything else I should know about?

[behind_these_eyes]

For a while, I was really sad, but I looked forward to college and everything beyond. I'm seeing more and more in the posts that people who are older aren't necessarily having a great time either. I also notice that lots of adults are always reminiscing and talking about their memories.

 

Is that how it works? Do we just go through life looking forward to something, only to find that when it's right in front of us, we'll be too busy remembering times before?

 

I guess I just want to know, in honesty, if there is anything to look forward to. If things have gone this far downhill already, who knows how much worse they could get with time? Pessimistic, I know, but thanks anyway if you actually read that babble.

[MojoPin]

Just live for the present, not the past or future,

and if the present sucks so bad then you will instintively find things to make you happy(its human nature to do this).

 

About what you said about theres nothing to look forward too i would agree there,

as the future is undecided and will always let you down sometimes and when it doesent you will take it for granted.

 

This is why i dont think too far ahead, anyway try not to get depressed about any of this

[HCI]

Carpe Diem!

[shes2smart]

Is that how it works? Do we just go through life looking forward to something, only to find that when it's right in front of us, we'll be too busy remembering times before?

 

I guess I just want to know, in honesty, if there is anything to look forward to. If things have gone this far downhill already, who knows how much worse they could get with time? Pessimistic, I know, but thanks anyway if you actually read that babble.

 

I can see where you could get the impression that it's all gloom and doom, but keep something in mind -- a lot of the posts on here are made when people are in the midst of a crisis....and they don't necessarily come back and tell you everything worked out after it's been resolved.

 

I turned 40 in May, and my life has gotten progressively better as it has gone on. I attribute this to a lot of hard work on my part and choices I made. First and foremost, the choice to take responsibility for the condition of my life and realize I always had the power to change it.

 

We create our own reality through our thoughts and actions. Some people aren't ready to hear that or take that kind of responsibility for their lives, and that's cool. That's where they are in their growth. The fact that you're starting to question "is this all there is?" says you may be ready to take up the challenge.

 

If you are, check out this book. You can read it free online, and I've found most libraries have a copy or 2 of Peter McWilliams stuff. link removed As an enticement, I'm pulling a quote from the introduction. The section this is from is called "Why Life?"

 

What's it all about? Why are we here? What's the point? Is there a point? Why bother?

 

Why life?

 

At some point, you have probably pondered The Meaning of Life, and you came up with a satisfactory answer, which either has or has not stood the test of time, or you shrugged mightily, muttered, "Beats the hell out of me," and ordered another cheeseburger.The Meaning of Life . Very funny; very true.

 

The question which precedes "What's the meaning of life?" is, of course, "Is there a meaning to life?" Beats the hell out of me. I'm going to explore the first question as though the answer to the second question is yes.

 

If it's true that life has no meaning--no purpose--then it doesn't matter whether I've consumed a few pages speculating on the meaning of life. So let's play a game called "Life Matters."

 

We'll start the game by assuming there is a purpose. The first question of Life Matters: "What is the purpose of life?"

 

Here's my answer:

 

Life is for doing, learning, and enjoying.

 

Peter McWilliams is an author I could ramble on about for days, but I'll try to keep it brief...if, for some reason, you're interested in my ramblings about him and more quotes from him, go here: link removed

 

Can't speak for others, but when I have offered up bits of my life on this board, it's not because I'm reminiscing or wallowing in the past. It's because I can see some similarity to the post I'm commenting on...kind of like, "Here...this is what I experienced, this is how I dealt with it, maybe there's something here that could help you deal with your situation."

 

The irony of it all is this: I see posts on here from 14 year olds to 20 somethings talking about how miserable their lives are, and how things will "never" change, and a lot of times I bite my tongue. Even if I would reply to every post I wanted to, I know a lot of what I have to say would fall on deaf ears....because it fell on deaf ears when I heard similar things when I was that age.

 

Here's a small smattering of what I have lived through: Age 13, suicide attempt (not a serious one, but the feelings were there), ages 15-16 onset of depression, age 17 serious suicide attempt, age 18 developed an eating disorder...struggled with it and body image issues well into my 20's, age 20 first real bf/relationship - prior to that it was a series of meaningless encounters with guys who didn't care squat about me...I definitely fell into the "amusing enough to hang out with, good enough to have sex with, but NOT girlfriend material" category, age 21 another serious suicide attempt and near committal to a psychiatric hospital. I had walls around me that were so thick it's amazing that I had any friends at all. I worried constantly about every little thing (there was A LOT of high drama in those days...) and was afraid of everything. And that just takes you up to my 22nd year....AND I've left a lot of stuff out.

 

Somewhere in my mid-20's I got sick of living like that....and that's about the time I started reading books like Peter McWilliams'.

 

"You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay taught me the power of affirmations. The first affirmation I seriously worked on was "I am willing to change." A year and a half later, I was in a completely different and steadily improving life. When I first read the Louise Hay book, I thought "That is SO simplistic...this woman has NO idea what she's talking about, she can't possibly understand what MY problems are like." But, I had gotten the book from the library, so it didn't cost me anything. The things she was suggesting didn't require me to go buy anything....they just required me to change the way I thought about things. At the time I had recently paid off my debt from the eating disorder treatment progam. That was a lot of money and I hadn't seen a lot of benefit from it, so here was this other thing I could try for free. I thought, "hey, if it doesn't work, I'm won't have to spend a couple thousand dollars to find that out. I won't be any worse off than I am now...so...what the hell."

 

Anyhow, the point is, I know what I'm talking about. I have walked through the fires of hell and have the ashes to prove it (so to speak). It is completely in your hands if life gets better or not. The things that happen to us are not good or bad in and of themselves....it's how we think about those events....what we think about those events that makes them good or bad.

 

Your thoughts are powerful. They create your inner and outer reality. Choose them wisely.

 

One other powerful, positive influence for me....Francis Dunnery. This song came several years after I started experimenting with all this stuff and it summed up what I'd seen first hand perfectly:

 

"My Own Reality" - Francis Dunnery

 

I believe in a happy land

where the people die so we can understand

I still don't know if I'm for sure

but I hold a faith that what I feel is right

If you believe that you're number one

very soon you'll be number one

Last night I crucified an old belief of mine

 

Then I told everybody that I could fly

and the whole damn world they said I'd lost my mind

The priest and the bishop and the girl next door

laughed in my face they'll laugh no more

`Cause I don't know if I want them to see that I'm living in a

world of my own reality

What's true for you ain't true for me

 

One small step for man

One giant leap for mankind

 

I believe in a happy land

where the present day is really promised land

I still don't know if I'm for sure

but I hold a faith that what I see is right

If you believe that pigs can fly

very soon your pig will fly

Last night I crucified an old belief of mine

 

Then I told everybody that I could fly

and the whole damn world they said I'd lost my mind

The priest and the bishop and the girl next door

laughed in my face they'll laugh no more

`Cause I don't know if I want them to see that I'm living in a

world of my own reality

What's true for you ain't true for me

 

And if you believe that the world is against you

Then so it will be in your experience

And if you believe that you are poor and always will be

Then your experience will so prove to you

 

And I just know that your gonna be free when your living in

your world

Your own reality

What's true for you ain't true for me

 

"Last night I crucified an old belief of mine" - this line blew me away.

 

best of luck to you,

~s2s

[behind_these_eyes]

Thank you so much for listening and offering up so much advice to help me. I know it must sound stupid to hear a 17 year old complaining about life. I also know that there are a lot of great things in most situations no matter how bad they look. I guess I have trouble seeing that or something. The song really helped me, again thanks for your time.

[Scout]

My life has gotten progressively better. My childhood, adolescence, and early twenties were pretty trying, and I'm putting that subtly. I'm in my thirties now, and have never felt better about who I am, plus I have a clear idea of what I want from life.

 

Yes, do chin up. Life is a great adventure, waiting to unfold.