How can I stop the pattern?

[ImGrowing]

I was in a long distance relationship with my ex, and even through long distance, I knew he was a bit off. We used to write each other essays and essays about what we did that day. And we'd talk hours on the phone. Well, after a week of emailing each other, one day, I didn't email right away, because I was going to hang out with my cousins. When I came home the next morning, I found 10 emails from him saying that he's upset that I was ignoring him and that I didn't even ask him if I could go and said I was a terrible person. I knew that was weird, because we weren't even dating, and I felt like I didn't have to ask for his permission. Anyway, I wrote him telling him that I didn't deserve to be called a liar etc and that I didn't want to hear from him again. Well, he writes back and apologizes and says that he was going through some stressful times that semester.

 

We become friendly again, and his obsessiveness got worse. I was so naive and cared so much about not hurting his feelings. I got sucked in. He used jealousy to keep me and bribes. He made me feel small after a while to the point where I felt like I needed him. Well, he got our parents invovled and told his mom to ask my mom if I could move in with him. I really didn't want to. But, my parents are very traditional, so they thought he was a good man. Well, the day before moving, he flirts with my cousin on the phone! I felt disgusted! So, that night I told him that I changed my mind and I didn't want to fly to see him. And that I was done with the relationship.

 

Well, he threatened suicide. He started making a bunch of noise and started acting like he was about to hang himself. He talked me through what he was doing while I was crying hysterically. He told me that his death was going to be all my fault. I finally gave in, because I was filled with so much guilt. I moved in with him and things just got worse...

 

I'm really scared...

 

I hate that I let myself fall for his tricks. and I noticed that I continue to fall for the same guys that are so wrong for me. They're not as extreme as my ex, but they're definitely not the best guys in the world. How can I stop the pattern?

[blackhawks1287]

Where are you meeting these guys that seem to be so wrong for you and who does the initiating?

[ImGrowing]

The last to guys that were wrong for me were guys that I worked with. This came to mind, because I went on a date with a guy who actually went on a date with another coworker. They do the initiating.