Sister/Friend what's it about?

[speak]

Let me try to explain the best I can...

 

I have a friend that is a guy and he has this close friend that is a girl. I am not really close to her but deal with her and act civil when we are invited to events and such. she has always made cracks at me about the way I act and the way I dress and during the months of june and early july I didn't have a job. She would say things about me not having a job and I didn't like it. She had a birthday party tonight and my sister and her best friend went because they know her and they were invited. My sisters best friend is already posting things about how much fun they are having and my feelings are kind of hurt. I talked to my sister but she just thinks I am jealous and that I want to start drama. THATS NOT IT. Why would you want to be around someone that doesn't really like your sister and makes fun of them? I also don't really like my guy friend being around my sister because whenever he gets mad at me he goes behind my back and tells my sister all of my personal issues. Am I upset for nothing?

[RedDress]

Well... I understand what you are saying and I understand why you feel the way you do. But... let's break down the issues.

 

1) Did you want to be invited to this party too? You kind of probably should have been, in my opinion. But then again, her party, her call. If you guys don't get along and you don't like her (which, even if you have never said this, I'm sure she senses it), then I can also see why she might not invite you. I think the best approach to tonight would have been to go out with other friends so as not to see all that Facebook stuff.

 

2) Your sister's friendship with this girl. Well... not everyone is going to like you. And your sister is her own person. There are people who don't like my sister necessarily, but that doesn't stop me being friends with them. It just means I don't let them badmouth her in my presence. I don't think your sister "owes" you in this way...

 

3)Your friend's relationship with your sister. Ok - THIS I think you have the right to be mad at. Have you confronted him on it? Friends don't talk (negatively) about friends behind their back. This is most definitely crossing a line and you should address it with him. The thing is... you kind of want to control his access to your sister. This is never really going to happen. I think you should confront him on this issue (next time it happens) and let him know that it's not acceptable for him to be telling her all your business. As a friend, he should understand and respect your boundaries. If he doesn't, he's not a friend.

 

So - to sum up:

- Your sister has every right to be at the party

- Your friend has every right to be at this party

- You are justified in not liking this girl

- No one else has to avoid her or each other because of your feelings for her

- Your friend doesn't respect your boundaries with your sister and he needs to stop.

 

Just my opinion.

[Kitkat973]

I don't think that you can control your sister choosing to be friends with this girl, but I do get why you're uncomfortable with your male friend's behavior. Have you talked to him about what he's doing?

[speak]

I have not talked to him about it really because I know he will not listen. He's a diva and he is going to do and say what he wants. We all hung out Saturday night and it was suppose to be Me, Him, Sister and Sisters friend. We wanted to go downtown to get into clubs/bars but he brought two twent year old friend and that wasnt even the plan. So, we pretty much went downtown for no reason. Everything but bars close by 11. I guess I just need to find my own place and find new friends.