pls somone give me an advice

[bodomx]

We started our relationship on 17th June 2003. But met and talked for

only about six months. She asked me to wait for a year till she finish her

studies. She promised me that she will never leave me even if something

happens to us. But she refused to meet me and I am not allowed to call her even once in six months. I tried. But found it very hard to live wothout

calling her. So, I call and try to talk to her about once in a month. After

I have waited for 8 months, she one day told me on the phone that she hasleft me and found someone who is better than me. My friends even told me that she found someone else. I find it very hard to believe because I still remember the promises she made and the love she gave to me on those few days we met.

I am her second boyfriend. Now she went with her first boyfriend's

brother. Now her first boyfriend s turned to be a very close friend of her since she now is her brothers girl friend. I havent heard a girl having relationship with brothers, though it is not at the same time.

I also know that her sisters and cousins also tried to change her mind to

leave me.

I found it very heard to believe that she left me. Then I sent her a note

saying that I cant believe that she has left, and that I know that she

still loves me. I wrote that I am waiting till she finish her exams and hope

that she will call me on the day she finish the exams. In response she wrote that she is now with someone else ( and told me its her first boyfriend that she is again with since he is better than me. But she really is with his brother). I don;t know why she is telling lies now. She wrote on the note severaltimes that she hate me and wrote not to disturb her. The next day I sent her a sorry card. she opened it and read it but sent it with a piece of note saying that she don't need anything from me. Both of us have our phone lines disconnected. Now I cannot contact her and in case if she wants shealso can't. I asked my best friend about what to do next to get her back, he told me to use the no contact rule.

The reason of leavng she cited was that I don't care about her and because I could not wait wthout calling her till she finish her exams.

I want to know whether she still loves me or not and whether she will call

me at the end of this year which is the time she promised that she willcall

me. But now things have changed and I am still wondering whether she will try to approach me or not. And do I have to use the no contact rule? And for how many months do I have to use the no contact rule?

Pls gime an advice on this. I need to solve this since i am afraid of

losing her for the rest of my life.

[aireyc]

Hey man, you aren't going to win her back by going against her wishes. The only thing you can really do is NC until she comes back. If she doesn't, well there really isn't anything you can do. Sorry bud.

 

Chris

[bodomx]

For how long do I have to use NC?

[aireyc]

I'd wait until the end of the year when she's supposed to call.

 

Chris

[mahlina]

I just find it rather odd how she seems to have a bit of anger against you. Why would she say that she hates you? My interpretation of that is, whenever someone shows you that much hate and passion, it's probably because they haven't forgiven you for whatever reason. She's probably still holding onto some kind of grudge. If she truly forgave you, let go, healed and move on, then she probably would've been less hostile about it. That's just how I see it. It makes sense that if someone stopped caring, then they wouldn't be as mad as well.

 

I think that what she's doing is, either:

1. She still cares, thereforeeee she's upset.

2. She's intentionally 'acting' mad, as a way to push you away.

 

She's probably really serious about her studying. If she says 6 months, then give her 6 months. Sometimes, people actually mean what they say. Some people are take things hardcore, when it comes to studying. They don't want any kind of distractions. That also means distractions from boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. They'd rather study without the distractions. However, words also been around that she's got someone 'new'. thereforeeee, I think that it's probably case #2. (I'm not Miss Cleo. Sorry. Take my advice with a grain of salt. )

 

Whatever the case is, take this time to focus on yourself for now. If she's not wanting the attention, then do not allow yourself to be her doormat. Carry on with your life. Do things that you like to do. Who knows. Maybe things will work out in the end. I would also use NC as a way to 'heal' rather than a way to seduce her to come back. Don't bother with playing mind games. That's mind boggling, and will distract you from gaining perspective of the situation. The main point is: focus on what makes you happy. Be yourself, and don't let anyone make you feel less of yourself. Enjoy the simple things in life. Feel better k? Have fun. -Mahlina

[bleeder]

Hi Bodomx,

 

I have read your post and have come to a simple conclusion. She was just stringing you along all this time, while her heart is set on some other objectives. Relationships require sincerity and focus, which in this case she doesn't seem to exhibit any.

 

Move on for now and I think that it is far better for you to forget her.

[bodomx]

Here are the latest developments on the strory Ive posted here.

I saw her 2 months ago on the street. She just smiled at me.

what does that mean?

Now she's finished her studies. My phone is disconnected and she cant call. Her parents stopped her meeting her new boy friend. They ve promised me that she will be thier for me. She broke up against their will. I dont want to call her first cos she's the one who broke up. She finished her studies and the day that she would call have passed. Does that mean that she will never call me again?