markalan24 Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now, but during our relationship the trust I had for her has been lost. She practically dated some guy right before she met me that she worked with. They never had a sexual relationship, but they really liked each other. We would be out and he would show up at the bars and they would give each other huge hugs and talk for like 30 minutes and it was like it was the end of the world if they didn't talk. I never liked this guy from the beginning, I had a bad feeling about him. My girlfriend just insisted they were only friends, even though before she met me they would go out together hold hands, make out in the bars, but they were only JUST friends. Thats about as sexual as their relationship was. This would continue where we would see him DT and I wasn't a fan so I brought it up to her saying I didn't like this. She just got mad, and thought I was overreacting. This lead to fights and it was like she didn't even care how I felt. One night we got into a big fight while we were out, so I just went home. Turns out she decided to not come back to my place and instead got a ride to her place from this guy. He was there until 5 in the morning. She lied to me about everything that happened, leaving out a bunch of details but I know they only talked. This was still strange to me, so from that point on I never really trusted her basically due to the lying. 5 months passed and then one weekend while I was out of town they began talking again or so I think they weren't talking during that 5 month stretch but I dont know for sure. Anyway, I came back on a sunday and that night she said she wanted to go out with her friends to have a ladies night. She goes out texts this same guy. They party, get drunk and then she goes back to his apartment until like 5 in the morning once again. I happened to be awake at the right time and since we lived together now at this point she came home, changed her shoes, then left. Well I heard the door open but then I noticed she wasn't around. So I called her and eventually after a few lies I find out shes going to this guys house. She gets back right as I'm going to work and of course we had a big fight, and so I read a text she sent to her friend. And it said, So blah blah just kissed me and it was romantic. Her friend replies with a aww. honey you deserve that. That all happened about 4 months ago. Me being soft like I am never broke up with her, but still I never trust her and I find myself going crazy always thinking she is talking to this dude. Just very recently I discovered a 26 page story on her computer. She was narrating it and it was all about her and this guy and her feelings for him. This was good and bad. Everything in there and what all happened is the complete truth and I actually found out things I didn't know or what her true feelings for him were. I kind of wish I didn't see this, but it was basically about him and her, and she hasn't finished this novel yet. Lol. From seeing the saved date on this document I know she has been writing this very recently. LLLLLOOOONgg story short. I just dont know if she still doesn't know what she wants. I feel like she's with me out of convenience but still has strong feelings for this guy. I don't know what to do. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Sounds like she has feelings for both of you and can't make up her mind. The thing is, if you can't trust your partnner the relationship is doomed no matter what. I'd strongly urge getting couples counselling. A neutral third parties opinion might help. What would bother me the most was the lying about things. Usually when they lie about where they are going and who they are spending tiome with it indicates big problems. Link to comment
Dionsauce Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Leave her... She does not love you fully.!! How can you be with someone who.is not 100% ?? For you?? Thats horrible.. You deserve better.. Just like her friend said to her.. Go get another girl.. Plenty of fish in the sea... Link to comment
RedDress Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Why are you worried about what she wants? Shouldn't you be worried about what you want? Personally, I want someone who loves me. Someone who thinks I'm the bees knees and that no one is as special as me. Someone who is open and honest with me. Someone who I can share my innermost thoughts and feelings with and who will do the same with me. What you've got is someone who thinks you are kinda alright. When that other dude isn't around. 'Cause maybe she likes him better - she's just not sure. So... instead of trying to figure that out, she lies to you. She lies about her whereabouts. She lies about her feelings and intentions towards you. She hides her thoughts, feelings, life. I dunno. Not what I would want. You? Link to comment
mactownman Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 Be done with her. She is disrespecting you and the relationship you have together. You cannot allow her to keep doing what she is doing. You are being weak and allowing her to cheat on you, emotionally or otherwise. Make the decision for her. Leave her and find a better girl. Link to comment
markalan24 Posted July 22, 2011 Author Share Posted July 22, 2011 Yea for sure not what I want, but I feel like were both scared for some reason to break it off. It's like were with each other out of convenience and we put on a good show. She's obsessed with getting married and swears up and down she want's to marry me, but I also just recently found out she was engaged to her ex right before me. Some other different guy, and a long time ago we were looking at things together and I noticed she made wedding invites for their wedding and not only him, but also some guy she dated before him when she was in high school. I think she has some problems obviously, and is either just obsessed with the idea of marriage or just needs someone to give her attention and treat her right. I know I'm a good guy and treat her good, but ever since that whole thing started we've had fights and Ive said things that were probably hurtful to her and her excuse was she ran to this guy because he would never talk to her like that. Even though she didnt deserve some things i said, I still don't know how that made it OK for her to do that. She does hide her feelings pretty good, like I don't honestly think they talk ever or even see each other, but I don't know and asking her just starts fights. And if they did talk or whatever I know for a fact she would never tell me. This is kinda strange but even when she wants to go to the mall with her friends I sit there and think, Oh what if she runs into this guy at the mall. Well she's obviously going to talk to him, I don't even want that to happen. And thats just over her going to the mall, something small like that. I think this girl has made me some crazy guy that I dont think I am. I love her, and breaking up with her would be more tough for me than her, she at least has a back up plan, a solid one to ssay the least. I've given her a lot of chances now with the couple incidents and the constant lying. Thanks for the advice everyone, but I will probably not man up and stay in this relationship. I think I need help too. lol Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.