finally having normal convo.'s with the ex

[steph5154]

well i had posted a topic here not to long ago asking if i should call my ex back cuz he had called while i was away for a month on vacation. I decided not to and he did call back this past sunday. well we were talkin and i asked him why he was callin? he told me it was cuz he mainly wanted 2 keep his promise that after the break up we would stay friends and we would hook up later on (mind you 4 months after we broke up, he started goin out w. sum new girl, and in skool she was known to be a problem maker, apparently she was too much trouble for him so they decided to split)

i never really took that promise into consideration i just took it as if he was tryin 2 let me down easily..which in most cases that is what that line is used for....so yea, he was askin me if i wanted 2 see a movie w. him or go out w. him anywhere so that i could finally express myself towards him since i couldnt before, considering that i did tell him over the phone once, but he was goin out w. that other girl at the time. i couldnt go that day cuz i had to go see a cousin at the hospital, so i told him that maybe we should hold it off for another day and i hung up w. him to get ready to go to the hospital. When we were talkin it was as if we held no grudges like back to normal you know..and i talked 2 him yesterday but not for long cuz i had a couple of friends over...now im just scared? i dont know if i should keep on, you know go along w. him or just say no thats it i want nothing to do with you..cuz i have to admit as much as it took to get over him, i do still have feelings for him...so i need sum advice please....

 

sincerely,

worried

[TrueHeart]

Well, honestly I'd say that he's probably realized that he made a mistake, and wants to remain friends. Before you determine where you want that to go, you need to ask yourself if its worth being friends, and you can control your feelings-- or is it purely not worth it to pursue. Don't feel bad that you have a life without him-- that you have more important things to attend to. Chances are, if he left you for another woman, he'll do it again when another one comes down the pike.

 

Hon, you will always have lingering feelings for someone you shared a long specialness for-- don't let him off the hook so easy... and you don't want him to think you are at his every beck and call... You have a life, you've moved on -- and so be it. If he wants to remain friends (and you too) than you both need to realize that the world doesn't revolve around one another anymore. If you chose to reconcile the relationship, make sure you always keep in the back of your mind the reason you broke up the FIRST time...

 

I didn't read your other post, nor am I really familiar with your entire story, but from what I gather--this is the best advice I can share...

[steph5154]

Well in all actuality he really didnt leave me for another girl. It just happeend that four months after we broke up he met sum random girl at skool cuz she had approached him and they started going out and then they split up. The same happened to me. Right after the break up I started talking to this guy I used to have the biggest crush on. The only difference is that as much as that guy wanted to be with me, I never gave him a chance and we never went out. Thank you for the advice, but i'd like to ask what if i do want to pursue the relationship that i would like to do the same as him and see if it can work out again? We are both lookin for the same thing a relationship, companionship, love most of all but i'm just a lil worried that if it should be with him. I don't have high hopes or anything but do you think that by talking to him and letting EVERYTHING out on the table and see what we could do from then on would be a good idea? I have been talkin to him these past days and its cool as if it were all back to normal you know like good friends...i dont know i need advice please help..

sincerely,

confused