Not doing well.

[ohsweetlove11]

It's been over 2 weeks now. We haven't spoken. I blocked him on fb, we haven't texted, nothing. I check his twitter though. I know, bad. He was in town last weekend and made no attempt to see me. I looked at twitter today, he's made it official he's moving back to his city at the end of summer. Nothing about being back with K officially or anything, but I know he wanted her to come to the wedding he was at last weekend.

 

My thing is, I thought I was ok but I'm not. I really miss him. I sit on my couch all day and watch movies. I think about him constantly. It's like I'm one of those empty shells now. I keep meaning to go out and do stuff but once a new day comes, I just don't have the energy or the drive. I've regained the 8lbs I lost due to the breakup and i just hate myself right now. I hate that I'm so stuck on him. I loved him so much and gave him all of me... and now I can't even take pleasure in anything anymore. I don't have fun, and I'm so alone. I don't have many friends irl. I'm hanging out with my mom a bit but I don't want to become a burden. I just miss him so much...

 

And it still kills me that he hasn't even attempted to contact me. I know he's respecting my wish for NC and giving me space, but at the same time I wish he wasn't. I wish he could call or text, or email... something.. just SOMETHING to tell me he does care, that he does think about me and miss me. At least then if he did I could be mad at him for trying. I'm just so tired of everything right now. I really thought I was doing better, but I just don't have any motivation to get out of my apartment.

 

It doesn't help that so many things are changing too. In the same week that I lost him, my landlord called to tell me they were selling the house and I needed to move out by August 31st, and I took a promotion at work. It's like everything in my life is changing. All my balance, my routine. All gone. I'm stuck with all these changes I didn't want, with all this stress and pain just piled on. Stuff keeps going wrong.

 

So yeah. I don't know what to do anymore. I need some help.

[VictorVic]

Angie how old are you?

 

I think you need to make an effort to work on yourself. Its so hard but you will feel a little bit better if you start working out and make those 8 lbs go away. Gives you soemthing to work for every day.

 

Just because he is not contacting you doesn't mean he doesn't care or miss you. I am guessing he misses you a ton as well. Keep your head up. Once you finally get out of the house and meet some people and talk and laugh you will feel a little bit better and eventually time will go by quicker.

[imonlyhuman]

Hi Angie,

 

The only advice I can give is to keep moving on and living your life. Stick with NC, it's very hard, but it does help you heal faster. My first two months, didn't do NC and I was a mess. Started NC eventually, and have come a long way since then. It's very hard to explain how life will get better, because it feels like it never will for someone in your early position. But it does, if you need help, you can ask on these forums. People have different opinions about what might be best for you, so take it all in and figure out what might be best for you. NC seems harsh, but it really does help a lot of people, and it doesn't mean NC forever. Go out and spend time with the people that truly care for you, smile, and do the things that made you happy (when you were single before), and try new things, meet new people.

 

Good luck, and take care. There's nothing to do but keep on living.

[MissyMolly]

Hey girl - don't worry about what you are doing or not doing right now - really. Give yourself permission to process this ANY way that shows up. So, yeah, of course you're just sitting on the couch watching movies and missing him - it's OK!!! You have the RIGHT to miss him - don't resist. Know that this process is strange, and we feel better one day, and bad the next. Sometimes, I feel good one MINUTE, and horrible the NEXT - - but, I allow myself the room to just allow those feelings and emotions come and go as they please. Hang in there - you will definitely get off that couch eventually, I promise!

[ohsweetlove11]

Victor, I'm 26.

 

I ended up blocking twitter. I checked his out again and he had tweeted to her "That's my girl!" .. Felt like a huge dagger. Just like every time I checked it before.

 

I guess I was still hanging onto the hope that maybe he'd miss me so much he'd come back. But he loves her. I need to give up now before I drown.

[No1]

Careful what you look for cause you just might find it. I think in a way you were looking for a posting like that. To justify your pain, so reading his post gave you the justification to feel even worse. First off. Who cares to how he feels about you? I know you want him to miss you, we all want our Xs to feel we are the best partner they could ever be with. But for now, it seems like you still have him high on your pedestal and you still have a light shining brightly on him like he was a trophy. And in the mean time you gained 8lbs.

You are allowing him to dictate how you feel. If he doesnt respond, you feel aweful, if you read his post, you feel worse. You want to be happy, but you want to be happy with him. I know its hard...but for some reason or another he was removed from your life to make room for someone better, and before you say he was the best, there is always someone better.

Work on you, quit sitting around watching movies that only make you think of him. If there is anything in your house or home that makes you think of him, take it down, put it away. Get out of the house.. go work out, go for a walk, its summertime, enjoy the sun, the people around you. He is but one of billions of people in this world and there is better for you. Treat yourself, celebrate your promotion, put you as #1. He is not coming back, yes he probably does miss you, he probably thinks about you. But you dont need to hear it from him. Just know that you are not that quickly forgotten.

I know its hard, it blows! Youll be fine in the long run. Just work on you, and happiness will follow and life will take care of the rest.

[ohsweetlove11]

I just wanted to update you guys.

 

I feel A LOT better since blocking Twitter. Not looking for those constant updates anymore is a lot better. Yesterday I actually worked out and went on a mini hike after. So 'm trying to get back out there and do stuff.

 

Thank you.