Living a life alone...?

[Jaydedgirl]

Im 24 years old and ever since i was young i always wanted my own place,own everything. But a guy was never in the picture,I never dreamed of meeting mr right or having a family,etc. That was never on my list. Right now I still feel that way, a man would never be living with me or living a life with me. Im ok with just having guy friends but nothing more. I am not lesbian or anything else,its just my way of life.

 

However I am dating someone but I cannot go through being married with him and having kids. Thats not my idea of how i want to live the rest of my life. Ive always wanted to live alone in my own house with my dog. Its not a fantasy i actually want to make it a reality one day. I just cannot see myself married and raising a family,its not me and never will be. I know most people might think im crazy or selfish but its how i want to live.

 

I am happy being alone,having my own space and doing things on my own. I just like my own company and its what makes me happy. I have told the guy im dating about this and he took it as a joke and said that Ill marry him one day. But I dont want to ,im happy just dating and thats all. I have been through a very bad relationship in the past, Ive been cheated on and the guy used to lie and hit me on my face..his family used to talk bad about me behind my back. It was a bad experience and I have moved on from it and made my decision of being alone..I dont mind growing old in my house with my pets till Im gone..

 

What do u guys think?

[d24]

if that's actually what you want, and not because of all the pain and bad experiences you've had in the past... I see no problem with this. Many people would consider it a life half lived but many people genuinely like being alone.

 

As long as you're not just hiding from the potential of being hurt again, I say go for it. Just be sure you're upfront and honest about it to any partners you may have

 

Otherwise... I'd suggest counselling... talking through your problems and opening up may help you get back to that archetypical 'relationship-y' place again

[Loriana]

It's really not a rule in life to grow up and get married and raise a family, Most people feel like they need to do this in order to be happy and live a fulfilling life but that isn't true. Some people like you and I like our company and would be happy living by ourselves, I think that this in itself shows great courage and independence. I commend you for being headstrong and knowing what you want from life. If this is what you really want than great just go for it.

 

One thing though, I do think you should discuss this with your boyfriend to let him know where he stands because he might have different life goals to you, you don't want it to look like you're stringing him along you know.

[CatsMeeoow]

Its your life - live it on your terms.

 

I lived my life on fairly similar terms but I was never against a partner - just that I felt I didn't need one to succeed with buying my own home, traveling the world, etc. I finally got married at 41 and while its an adjustment for sure and I do miss my alone time overall its a good thing to know someone has my back so to speak.

 

I had a very good friend who was single her whole life until she was 55... then she married.

 

I too have had bad relationships similar to yours but you know what? I didn't judge all men based on a couple of bad apples that fell off the tree near me! I mean I was abused, lied to, made to feel like less than a person I should have been but I was the one to take charge and change my course.

 

I agree with d24 - counseling might help you work through any lingering issues from you past relationship that you are still harboring. It might help pave the way for healthier future relationships whether you change your mind in your course for hermitude is remain to be seen but I see nothing wrong with it if it truly makes you happy.

[Stay_home]

For some people they may find that living alone works better for them, to each his own. But then why are you now in a relationship when you can just fulfill that wish? Why waste your time and someone elses if you're not even open to the possibility of something developing any further.

[mouseno4]

I have lived alone for 10 years. I dont mind it. But, being an introvert - one who enjoys their own thoughts and is happy to be alone to enjoy them - i tend to be happy.

[Marah]

It sounds simple but seek to live the life you feel is your best fit. Doesn't matter what others think about it.

[EternalDreamer]

I agree that if you are truly happy living on your own with your dog, then you should absolutely pursue that life-style. It takes guts to admit you don't follow the stereotypical norm of wanting to start a family and kids, and it's great that you are aware of that so early in your life. I recommend you emphasize how adamant you are about this to the guy you're dating (assuming he wishes to take things more seriously at some point).

 

Of course, it's possible this desire to live alone with your dog is due to your negative experiences from the past, in which case you might want to consider exploring your feelings and figuring out if you really are fine with this type of isolated lifestyle in the long-term. There's nothing wrong or "bad" or even strange about it, and if that's what makes you happy, then congrats on knowing what makes you happy! Just try to be sure it's right for you before riding off the other side of things (in case you aren't already; I'm just playing devil's advocate in case you're feeling a bit emotional or venting).

 

Please let us know how things proceed!

[BellaDonna]

It think that is perfectly fine. It is your life. Just always be sure to be up-front and honest with partners that you are not looking to combine lives or have a long term commitment.

 

Also, I agree that you should make sure it is what you really want and not just a reaction to bad experiences in the past.

[Miss Firecracker]

I have cousins that are perfectly fine living on their own. They tried the marriage thing once, probably because it was the thing to do. But eventually they realized they were meant to live alone. I think that runs strongly in my family. Lots of examples I can think of. And I think the ones that went that way are as happy as the married ones, some VERY happy.

[bulletproof]

I find it a little bit strange that in March you wrote this about a crush you had:

"I know this all sounds silly and crazy but i really felt we had something special going on between us..i could feel the chemistry when he looked at me..i could picture myself with him,smiling,laughing,holding hands but now that dream is crashed...i feel like the Titanic..im sinking and i cant be helped

Im sitting here crying my heart out...i dont know how can i face him at gym..i dont know whether i should ignore him or keep smiling and looking at him when he does so. Why would he give me all these signs when he has someone? Why? I dont understand..for the first time i thought a guy actually notices me and ignores all the hot girls in gym but i was wrong..

 

I feel like dying,really theres no point in going on this life when im all alone...deeply alone. Nobody understands...my heart is shattered.."

 

You just don't sound like someone who really wants to live a life by yourself with your dog. Perhaps you've had a change of heart in the past three months, but that's a pretty quick turnaround.

[Someday_Soon]

I often feel happy alone, but then in social situations I see other people my age which are almost always married, including other family members, and I wonder if I'm making the right decision. I wonder if I'll regret this later on. People drift further apart as they get older and close friends are tied up. It just gets lonelier and lonelier. I just don't want to marry and make a mistake. I feel like you give up so much control when you're married. If I knew for a fact it would work out, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But the idea makes me think twice.

[Jaydedgirl]

I find that people who are married sometimes feel completely alone even though they are living with a partner. To me that would be torture.. completely miserable. If im alone, i can be happy,be myself,do things i want to do, relax when i want to and just be happy living my life on my own terms.