what to do?????

[shy]

I' have this friend who is cheating on her fiancee.. who she met only 2 months ago ..everyday she tells me she is going to marry him because she has too but she is completely in love with the current boyfriend of hers of four years ......i am friends with her fiancee and his family aswell; things are really bad i dont know what to do because i told her many times to be honest with her fiancee but she always try to do the opposite she even told him she loves him which is a complete lie and i know it for sure is that she is marrying this guy for his money, He thinks she is this innocent girl who has never even thought of a guy let alone dating because thats what she has been telling him she has made comments to me in regards to his money that what if he has no money and she wants nothing less then a doctor i told her if she is so confused she should take some time to think about it and first end her relationship with the first one she says she will but goes behind my back and sees this guy again at the same time keep telling her new fiancee she loves him what do i do?? i m in the middle of this wicked game of hers....Did i mention her fiancee is my boss too......

 

 

PS...This is just a little glimps on what she has been up to .......

[Gauchori]

WOW Thats a hard plase there buddy. Umm... I think you should have a personal talk with your boss. Go up there and tell him that you don't want to hurt his felling, that you don't want to be nosi but as your boss you have to tell him what you know and whats going on alround there. Tell him to please don't get mad but that you have to tell him how things are. Tell him as well that he is your boss, that you respect him but that you have to tell him this. Than tell him all you know and what you have been doing to help him out. He may get a mad but when he does remind him that you ASKED him to please don't get mad and that you really had to tell him how things were going. Tell him that you apreciate him not only as your boss but as a fried so... I think that should lead the way. I hope that helped. by the way... talking to this girl will be of no use, who you need to talk to is the man. He is the one that will come out hurt out here and all she has in mind in the money; thats why she hasn't changed. Best of luck pall! 8)

[RayKay]

This is a really tough one, and anything you do could do will be tough, hurt people, anger people.

 

Are you on good terms with the fiancee too (other than him being your boss)?

 

Ugh...I hate cheating - I am amazed at how OFTEN I hear of it happening, and how many people see nothing wrong with it (like your friend). My ex's last girlfriend cheated on him (she seems to do that to everyone apparently) and hurt him terribly - I have been the one to deal with the aftereffects of that in relationships, and she is a large reason he & I are currently apart. People seem to have no idea what they do to others when they cheat. Of course, people who marry for the money don't rate high in my book either.

 

Anyway, I am getting on a tangent there (obviously). As I said this is tough as she is your friend, and he is your boss. There are a couple options - you can somehow get to him the anonymous message something is going on - let him do the detective work if he feels there is some truth to it. Talk to him, depending on how close you are to your friend, you might want him to keep it quiet who told him but she might know anyway. Sure the relationship would likely end (as there is no love from her side anyway) but is that a bad thing in this case? Keep trying to convince HER to tell, or STOP the marriage, or to STOP seeing this other guy! Remind her what marriage means - and it is not selfishness. Or you can say nothing, they will get married, he might find out later - then it might be the Big D, and a lot of hurt. Or, he might find out and cheat on her if he is that type - who knows.

 

What is the best outcome in your opinion - what would you feel best about doin?

[nomore]

Ok, first of all what kind of person do you call a "friend" when she is sleeping around? And if that's not enough, she obvioulsy has an ill-intention to "marry" someone solely for his finacial status or cachet. How can you even affiliate yourself with such cunning, money-hungry, manipulative woman?

 

Second, do you really want him to marry this girl and a few years down the road they have kids and he finds out that she is having an extramarital affairs on his back? My suggestion is you MUST somehow let him know but at the same time you want to make sure you have a solid proof at hands since he is your boss and your so-called friend may manipulate him to believe YOU are in fact being jelous and lying to ruin their relationships.

[Francis]

The first issue is whether it we all do have a moral obligation to warn a person who is about to be wronged:

 

If you see someone who is about to rob a bystander their wallet or handbag, for sure you would warn the possible victim. Even if the person has already been robbed, any young person who is physically fit would run after the robber to try to recover the bag or the wallet.

 

In this situation, the possible victim is not being robbed a wallet or a handbag, he is about to be robbed big time, materially, morally and spiritually, with consequences that will affect his whole life, even if he eventually realizes his mistake and divorces (probably will have to pay alimony).

 

thereforeeee, it seems that, yes, you have a moral obligation to intervene.

 

The problem here is whether he will believe you or not. From my life experience with people who are naive and innocent and who believe in: See no evil, hear no evil, say no evil, I have the feeling that this person is not going to believe you. He is probably infatuated with the woman and may get mad at you, he may believe you are jealous. In fact, I believe you are at serious risk of losing your job if you warn him openly.

 

thereforeeee I would advice you to find a way to realize his mistake on his own but refrain from intervening openly.

[shy]

hey guys thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me....I went and told her fiancee sister and she told him and is is not a pretty picture i have been branded a lier and was told that i am going to rot in hell etc....to tell you the truth i expected all this but what hurts is that morals and good intentions have no place in this world anymore seems to me evil wins hands down i am going to give my letter of resignation tom...she won i lost........ironical bottom line is it was all about doing the right thing and i chose to tell the truth rest is all up to ********* cheers ....

[nomore]

So you saying he didn't believe you? Actually I am not too surprised to hear this since I believe most people know when their mate is going behind his/her back just for some reason don't want to either confront the situation or wrap a denial blanket over their head.

 

And as of you loosing your job... I don't know what to say. You can try for one last time to be a decent human being and warn him about the situation. I mean you can say I am willing to lose my job to prove to you (him) that I am being forthcoming and honest. Frankly, as I said, I would have gone to him with some solid full-proof evidence to make my case rather than just converstionally trying to convince him over this matter. I feel bad that you ended up being the one to burn.

[shy]

If any of you recall" I posted msg about this friend, who was cheating on two men at the same time, one was my boss, and I tried to warn him n lost my job. Now I have been trying really hard to get back on my feet ,but it is not easy I am emotionally down and losing faith in everything I have ever believed in; to make things worst the guys older sister wrote on my farewell card that I should learn to live my life with integrity and honesty. I was in tears I could not come to terms with the fact that evil wins in this world

I mean the girl they are taking home is the one who was doing all the wicked stuff ……anyways I don't think I will ever go out of my way to help anyone

Again…….love to all …

[candianeh2000]

yeah, its really insensitive of your boss to fire you for that. its like whats the point of trying to be nice if it will backfire.

 

sorry to hear things went so badly. Some people in the world are just not sensitive at all