Just out of curiousity

[notgivingup]

Hi everyone,

 

I just want your opinion on the following things.

 

-Do you all think or agree that guys/girls are protecting themselves when they are using the statement "I am busy" as an excuse not to talk or hang out with you?

 

-Do you all think or agree that guys/girls are players or wants additional sex whenever they say "I need space"?

 

-Do you all think or agree that a guy/girl should be grateful and appreciative when someone they have feelings for (and vice versa) makes time for a two minute phone call with them out of their busy life? Instead of complaining I would like you to make more time for me?

[april15]

"I am busy" can be an excuse but also can mean just that, they are busy.

 

"I need space" to me is nice way to try and back out of a relationship that has become too serious but don't want to completely cut ties.

 

You cannot make someone be grateful, they either are or they are not. Perhaps this is not a match that will work. Sounds like a lot of animosity is being built up over time and communication needs. They do not sound compatible.

[charity]

Hi everyone,

 

I just want your opinion on the following things.

 

-Do you all think or agree that guys/girls are protecting themselves when they are using the statement "I am busy" as an excuse not to talk or hang out with you?

 

-Do you all think or agree that guys/girls are players or wants additional sex whenever they say "I need space"?

 

-Do you all think or agree that a guy/girl should be grateful and appreciative when someone they have feelings for (and vice versa) makes time for a two minute phone call with them out of their busy life? Instead of complaining I would like you to make more time for me?

 

my opinion is

perhaps, no and no to your questions.

 

1. i wouldn't call it protecting themselves. i would say that either they are genuinely busy OR they are not busy but do not want to be blunt and say that they do not want to meet up with you at that time.

 

2. to me 'i need space' means that either they are not as into you as you are into them,...... OR they are into you but you are smothering them or being needy and forcing them into fighting for their space.

 

3. this one is about balance. if the 2 min calls are balanced with some proper conversations and quality time then i would def appreciate the 2 min calls. but if everyday a guy called and said he had to go after 2 min then i would feel like he was SQUEEZING me into his day and not committing anytime to our relationship.

[Day_Walker]

1. "Im busy" is just a very general excuse that people can use in order to avoid hanging out, I would think you would be trying to search for more if you wanted it to mean more than that.

 

2. When a person says they want "space" it means that things are moving too quickly or they dont want any further involvement with you.

 

3. Depends what side youre on, I think that if youre a busy person and you make time for a person that should be noted. However, I dont think that there are that many people who cannot make more time than 2 minutes.

[RedDress]

I think that sometimes people say vague or misleading things in an attempt to be "nice" instead of saying what they mean. This is not actually nice as it leaves people hanging. Then again, they could be saying exactly what they mean.

 

1) "I'm busy" could mean "I'm busy" or it could mean "I'm too busy for YOU". You know which one they mean by whether or not they try to FIND time to reschedule or whether they are "Oh, well" about it.

 

2) "I need space" could mean "I'm interested but you are suffocating me, back off a bit so I can miss you and breathe" or it could mean "I don't want to be in a relationship anymore so I'll slowly fade away". You know which one they mean by simply not contacting them anymore. Either they will make themselves clear by contacting YOU when they are ready or they will go away.

 

3) If someone is complaining about wanting more time with you... you should listen to what they are saying rather than dismiss their feelings and tell them to be appreciative. Whether or not you are making time for the 2 minute phone call, clearly, this is not enough for them. There is no "right" or "wrong" - different people have different needs. It might be just fine for others. This could simply be a compatibility issue.