Ated Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 I'm just wondering, how do u just stop loving someone?? There are a lot of people here that would want to know the strategy. So far, i've been collecting bits and pieces from what ppl have adviced me to do. These are: 1) Keep busy, do things to go out of your ex's way to make sure that you don't bump into each other and not open all wounds. Consequently, you have time to heal. 2) Don't go finding out things about him. Will also open all wounds. 3) And the so famous NC, which applies to both... Antyhign else. I mean, I've tried this and i'm sure u have. I just wanna get out of thw square TOTALLY now. I want to make sure that if i bump into him or when i hear about him, it would'nt bother me at all. I just wanna close that part of my heart, if i could, i would cut it! Also a part of my brain. hehe i just wanna DELETE HIM! Basically, pretend he never came in my life, never met him. So to say, REBOOT me... Thanks. I'd really appriciate your verdicts and inputs! Link to comment
S4il Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Brad Pit movies might help. The sometimes prolonging feeling, of love towards someone, isn't an easy thing to just forget about, Your Emotional tunnel of Up's and Down's isn't going to be easy to just walk into, and out of just as fast...It doesn't work that way, In fact it's not like that for anyone, your not alone in this, First you may feel hurt, upset, Crying almost uncontrollably, hating the person with a passion, etc...And i have to be brutally honest with you here, I see it like this The more you try to make yourself forget about something, it's the more you will think about it...does that make any sense? Well think of it like this, Say You love something, can't live without it, At times it's a constant thought, it shadows your every thought in between those constant thoughts. Now, Think about this: How can You try to forget about it. If first your thinking about how to get it out of your mind. it bothers you that much, so trying to think of a way to erase it from your head, is going to take TIME, And Time is of the Essense. Link to comment
ClareMsUK Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 hey, having read your most recent post (this 1) i went back and read some of your previous ones. i have been through a similar thing recently and just the other day told him where to go! he was playing games with my feelings and i kept falling for it. deep down though i think he does care, he himself is so scared of getting hurt that he can't commit, yet he keeps phoning me all the time and getting his friends to find out what i am up to etc. i also know for a fact he is not seeing anyone else! he is online just now and it is killing me not chatting to him. i blocked him though so he can't see i am online or email me at all but its killing me! i love this guy! how the hell can i avoid him when i just wanna be with him all the bl**dy time? argghhh i don't know, i will just be strong and TRY and follow your points haha, i want to wake up and just not be thinking about him but usually i dream about him so my feelings are fresh again haha! when i am over this i will get back to you and tell you how it went. hope u are feeling better in your situation. x Link to comment
Ated Posted August 12, 2004 Author Share Posted August 12, 2004 Hey Clare! I think you might wanna read my other post in that case... "Today i save myself (shout out loud).. in the healing after breaking up section! I wanna see you reply to that post ok?? Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 People just do fall out of love there is no real way to explain it why I don't know. Link to comment
drydupfob Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 The only tool you have to fall out of love with someone is TIME. I know you'v heard this again and again.... but time does heal alllllllll wounds..... when my ex brokeup with me and played mind games, i seriously thought about killing myself.... because there was just so much pain and loss.....but once u get pass the first couple of weeks of no contact.... things gets soooo much better...... I have not talked to my ex for 3 month now and i feel very good about where i am at right now..... i even saw her yesterday and it didn't face me as much I thought it would have..... I mean i surround myself with good people that loves me for me...... that helps alot too.... support is always good in the early days of no contact..... my advise to you is to tough it out and when you do get urges to talk or call or whatever, just think force yourself to think logically...... like you know it would not work out in the end.... the relationship will not work..... so y bother?.........I hope you have a easier time dealin with this whole situation...... you are going to encounter set backs but just remember it gets that much better with every passing day. best wishes... nan Link to comment
Kittengirl Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 When dumped back in march by my b/f of 5 years I put everything and I mean everything that he had given me or that we had brought together, in a box and put it under the bed where I couldn't see it. I am moving again and know that I will have to unearth it all but now, this far down the line, I can handle it. It's much easier to move on and fall out of love if there are no reminders around. However I am not a believer that everything must be destroyed or burnt because these things become your history and in years to come they are nice to keep and remind you of how far you have come. Link to comment
Ated Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Im having a bad day... i hate it when i just FINALLY get over someone (or so i think) and then you hear about him... because a mutual friend bumped into him! I wish i would just stop caring! Its been 4 months now and i'm still in pain! FAR OUT! I just wish i would cut that section of my brain. On a positive note, i met a guy and he's wonderful~ Everything i could want... BUT, he lives overseas... (korea) and that just totally sucks because i don't know if we'd ever have the chance to meet... WHy does love hurt? Link to comment
ClareMsUK Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 hey that's great you met someone, its even good to have someone else occupy your thoughts even if he lives far away! i'd give anything to get my guy out my head for 5 seconds!! i used to love sleeping because it got me away from thinking about him but now i dream of him every night and its drving me crazy!! like you i have felt this way for 5 months now and its not getting easier. i think i am fine and then like you i hear something about him and it all comes crashing back. i hate it!!!! i'd rather just have him not exist at all in my head. hang in there, there will be more good days to come x Link to comment
Mike_Wazowski Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 For me, the best way to fall out of love or to forget about an ex girlfriend is to find a replacement.....Nothing works better than replacing the one you lost with someone else! That also shows the Ex that he/she is not irreplaceable! Peace! I also find comfort in the arms of another female..even if it's just a platonic thing! It's all about getting support for me! Link to comment
Ated Posted August 24, 2004 Author Share Posted August 24, 2004 The thing is, the guy i met. he has massive potential to be my bf... In fact, he even wants a r'ship with me, BUT he lives in korea... and that sux big time. I like him sooo much. I dunno what to do?? Ppl say... 'ull find ur one' but now that i have... he is unreahable! I thnk he'd rather not have a long distance r'ship too... i mean, i can understand cos i'd want to be able to hug and be affectionate with my man... *SIGH* BTW Link to comment
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