The lowest point

[stevef20]

Hugs chikn

[thagator]

It's just another day, Steve. It's her loss not having you there. You will find someone better. Maybe you should visit the States, college girls are easy

[stevef20]

Thanks buddy, maybe one day it might feel like her loss but for now its mine, I've cried so much today my eyes are sore.

I'll let that comment stay from you and not reply, don't fancy getting loads of flack

[LoveHearts21]

It's good to let it all out Steve, you'll feel better for it.

 

I cried so much over the months I feel like I have no more tears left for him now (he's not worth them anyways you know that ). I do have a little cry every night when I go to bed and sometimes during the day when I tell myself he's not coming back but I know it's getting easier as time goes on. I don't know how I got through my lowest points but at least it's made me stronger.

 

Lets think positive things and we'll get through it. You won't be feeling this low for long. Once these 2 days are over you'll bounce back up like a bouncy ball

[stevef20]

Thanks again Vic, you sound like a new girl, I'm chuffed you've seen the light re the ex and now seem to be in control.

 

You've come a long way, I'm proud of you x

[stevef20]

Thanks again Vic, you sound like a new girl, I'm chuffed you've seen the light re the ex and now seem to be in control.

 

You've come a long way, I'm proud of you x

[LoveHearts21]

I'm still hurting and still want him back so I'm not completely healed but I am getting stronger and so are you.

 

I just feel like I've cried that much I have no more tears left. As they say 'no man/woman is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry' so true!

 

I'm still not ready to find someone new and I know it would knock me down if I heard he was with someone else so I'm trying hard not to think of it.

When do we reach the point where we don't care anymore? It's an awful rollercoaster ride, makes me sick at times - I want to jump off and get on the big wheel and see what else is out there

[stevef20]

That's the spirit, you'll know when you're ready, when that time arrives there will be a lucky guy someone not believing his luck

[LoveHearts21]

I've just been asked out on a date a few minutes ago (by text) but I don't know how to politely refuse without him thinking that I think I'm too good for him because I always think the opposite with my confidence being knocked by the ex. I'm just not ready for someone new, I feel like he's still mine.

 

I think we need to find someone new to help take our mind off our ex's but I'm stuck in limbo because I don't want anyone but him but I can't keep waiting around when he's not coming back

 

Let's go to Turkey I'm sure I'll have them all chasing me like before.. they love blondes

[stevef20]

ok ill book the apartment

[LoveConned]

Oh Steve, my heart breaks for you as I read your post. I am new here but I always seem to gravitate towards your posts because you just seem so kind, warm and loving. And for Justine to walk away from that SHE IS A FOOL!!!

So I have to agree with Siverbirch, that she couldnt do relationships, she obviously has her own issues to deal with hun, is this something you would want in a woman for long term. I think we tend to put on the old rose coloured specs after a break up. Mine are still on a little bit.

as you know my bf just dumped me out of the blue to go back to his ex wife 2 and a half weeks ago, while I was in the UK visiting family. moved out, one day after saying he lovred me so much, missed me so much. no explanations, just gone, no goodbye to my daughter who he claimed to love. nothing. we had something wonderful and he left it to go back to something miserable.

and I am killing myself here with the whys of it all. but we will not get the answers from them steve we wont. and they cannot give us closure, we must find it within ourselves.

And you must not even THINK about ending your life, you sound like a wonderful man with lots to give, do not deprive your next partner of meeting someone like you! and YOU WILL!!

I know your pain, I know how deeply you hurt especially coz its her birthday weekend and you are thinking of the things you should be doing together. Today is my birthday and we were supposed to be going away tomorrow for the night so this weekend has been really tough for me today. Im supposed to be so happy and excited right now looking forward to our trip but now look, its mothers day over here too today and here i am bawling on my birthday and mothers day thinking 'this isnt what is supposed to be happening today!' But you know what babe, IT IS!! And I cannot change it. I gotta get past this and so do you.

Im just reading a book called 'getting past your breakup' by Susan Elliott... Im going to quote a passage:

 

''If your ex dumped you and you think It was the wrong thing to do, she needs to figutre that out. you cant be the one to ''fix'' your exes thinking. The bottom line isthat if your ex things in a cockeyed way now, she is going to continue to see things the same waywhenever youre not around to correct this twisted perspective. It takes hard work and constant vigilance to keep someone ''thinking correctly'' and you dont want that kind of responsibility or control. The fact is you need to accept that you have been with someone whose approach to life is simply incompatible with yours. Perhaps it was always evident that thought in differnet ways, saw the world differently and operated on irreconcilable levels but you chose to ignore it or worked hard to correct it. You cant ignore the dissimilar viewpoints any longer. Accept the fact that you think differently and let it go so you can find someone whose way of thinking is compatible with yours''

 

SO dont text her. Im having trouble dealing with the coldness after the fact? It makes me feel like S**T!! And the couple of times we have had contact, it just validates and confirms the coldness again. ''Its hurt when I do that. So I shouldnt do that!!'' Its like pressing a bruise!

You are doing brilliantly with the NC, but Im worried for you...what other support sytem do you have apart from this forum?

Big hugs!!.

[LoveHearts21]

ok ill book the apartment

 

Are we jetting off on the next plane out? I wish!! ha ha

[stevef20]

Hey you, happy birthday x

 

You shouldn't be here today listening to my drivel, I know the weekend plans have been scuppered but please do something for you, try and have some fun, spoil yourself, take your daughter for dinner, go to the cinema, just please try and enjoy your day.

 

My problems and the sadness I feel are not for you, not today, its your birthday and ill be damned if I'm going to bring you down.

 

You are such a lovely girl, what had happened to you is a travesty, anyway, enough negatives, it your day.

 

 

Happy birthday princess, please accept this big HUG and XxXx and go enjoy your day.

 

Steve x

[LoveConned]

oh hun thats ok. This is all helping me through my grieving process. i may go out for dinner with a friend later - we were thinking indian but it just sucks over here! (Im a brit ex-pat) not the same as home at all!

anyway I digress, what I am saying is I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. And it helps me to help others if I can.

And it helps reading about other peoples plights, not that I get any satisfaction out of other peoples pain you understand, just knowing that Im not in this boat by my lonesome helps enormously.

And you know yourself, you cant force the smile and happy times if its just not in you at the moment, birthday or no birthday.

Ive never been able to be one of those ''fake it til you make it'' people.

[stevef20]

Lol, Indians back here are pretty good. I didn't realise you're a brit, where you from? And where living now?

[beau2011]

Hi Steve! I am new here and I have been reading your posts. I think you are one of those guys who are dificult to find: sensitive and caring! Someone is out there waiting for you............when you are ready!!!

 

You did not text her for her bithday, right?

[stevef20]

That's very kind of you to say beau, thank you, its a shame the nice guys never win.

 

I didn't text Her today No, its actually her birthday tomorrow

[LoveConned]

Steve I am from London. I live in New York now x

[stevef20]

That's very kind of you to say beau, thank you, its a shame the nice guys never win.

 

I didn't text Her today No, its actually her birthday tomorrow

[stevef20]

Wow love, that's amazing, with exception of the breakup, how is it out there ?

[LoveConned]

its great, been here 10 years now. never really found love til this last ex.

Even though i got married out here, my H was an alcoholic and I got pregnant, we got married even though deep down I knew I didnt love him the way I was supposed to. It was a silly of me but I thought I would make it work. His drinking got too much and I left when my daughter was 2 and a half. he recently nearly died from cirhossis of the liver, that was heartbreaking but miraculously he turned himself around and hasnt touched a drop in 3 and half months. But its too late for me and him.

especially since I met my recent ex. I fell so madly in love for the first time. he was my 'one' and he felt the same. but I guess he was never mine to have. Had I known there would be a slim chance of him going back to the ex wife, I would never allowed myself to fall in love with him. stupid stupid stupid.

[beau2011]

Steve.........that is not true........it is just hard to find the right person........for many, many of us. And we suffer because we think with the heart. for sensitive people like us is really hard to see reality and we get stuck!!.......... Knowing from the bottom of our hearts that this person is not right for us.

 

For many it is part of life that you kiss many frogs before you find the person right for you.

 

Ok it is tomorrow............so tomorrow you are not texting her, right? I will be checking!! you need to heal!

[dedem]

Aw, Steve, I'm so sorry.

 

Today is just a day, keep yourself strong and you'll get through it. I agree 100% with the rest of the people on here, you'll find the right person when it comes time, you just haven't kissed enough frogs, as beau said.

 

Feel better. -hugs-

[stevef20]

Love, you can only go with your gut feeling hon, you love this guy and he loved you back or at least you thought so, please don't beat yourself up and think yiu are stupid because you are not, you're a girl who gave her heart and soul to a man who sadly want in a position to accept it.

Someday, when your ready, that ideal man will be there for you when you least expect it.

 

Now clear off and go and enjoy your birthday XxX

[stevef20]

Thanks Jenn,

 

Don't be sorry darling, you're always there for me as I am you x