Its here :(

[stevef20]

Live, do you really think that 1 happy birthday text will take me right back? Honest please.

[Live-N-Learn]

What do you hope to accomplish by sending the text? What would you say? You read what happened to me when I sent my ex a text. She responded 3 hours later with thank you, I miss you! It meant nothing. She was out that night partying with her new man and sleeping with him. It did not make me feel any better at all. I regreted ever sending it.

 

All it showed her was I was still not over her and she had all the power. It did not make her want me back and did not accomplish a thing. I stressed for the whole 3 hours wondering if she would text and what she would say.

 

If you think you can send it without any attachment to the outcome then go ahead. I don't think you can. so why do it to yourself? Do you think the birthday text is going to make her change her mind and want you back? If not, then why send it? Like I said she won't hate you for not sending one and will probably respect you more for not sending it.

 

As far as how far it will set you back...that depends on her response or lack of and how high your expectations are of the outcome. I think it will set you back a lot.

[stevef20]

Ok mate, thanks for your honesty.

[Brownstone322]

Live, do you really think that 1 happy birthday text will take me right back? Honest please.

What in hell do you think that would accomplish? It'd make things worse. It'd make you look weak. (Which, in my estimation, would be entirely accurate.) So stick to your guns (or to this esteemed panel's guns, as it were), and do nothing. It may be a small gesture, but, such as it is, it'll be a statement of strength.

 

I'm all for politeness. I'm all for open communication. But now it is not the time.

[Live-N-Learn]

No problem my friend. I just don't want to see you get hurt with any new pain. You are doing as well as you can and have been NC like 60 days right? That is great. Trust me she is wondering if you will send her a message today. When you don't she will be surprised and it may even cause her to reach out to you. Sending one will just reinforce that you are still pining after here and she does not need to do a thing. Stay strong. By not sending one you win either way.

[stevef20]

Your right live, thanks mate, you're a good man

[Silverbirch]

How r u going Steve?

[stevef20]

Been a tough day hon, thankfully its nearly sleep time x

 

How r u ?

[twitchyfingers]

California checking in. Steve, I hope you get good rest tonight. Thank you for being my friend.

[Silverbirch]

Hope you get a peaceful sleep Steve and feel better in the morning. Hugs

[stevef20]

Thank-you girls, you're both so lovely, I hope we can stay friends once this living hell is over. X

[stevef20]

Good morning friends,

 

I've just woken and after 5 minutes of being ok, here she comes in my mind, although tomorrow is her birthday, today is the day it will be celebrated (work tomorrow) I know the pattern, all the family will meet for breakfast but this year with 1 person less that is of course unless I've been replaced. Everyone will be chatting and smiling and a good day will be planned, gifts will be given after breakfast and the day will move along.

 

In the mean time I lay in my bed thinking about how much I miss her and trying to type through my tear filled eyes, this time last year she was mine and loved me so much, this year I'm probably not given a 2nd thought. I'm soooo sad email buddies, my heart is so very heavy right now, we all need to move on and get our lives back but today isn't the day for that today, I'm going to mourn her and let myself hurt, its also 8 weeks nc today, irony I guess.

 

Oh friends, why do we have to suffer to painfully? Don't worry, I know the answer, its because we love them more than anything in the world.

 

I can't text her so I hope you don't mind me saying it here.

 

Dearest Justine, just a short text to wish you a very happy birthday, have a fantastic day today, I hope it brings you all you have wished for. Be happy baby, ill always love you, Steve x

 

Aaaaawwwww

[Silverbirch]

Thank-you girls, you're both so lovely, I hope we can stay friends once this living hell is over. X

 

Sure we can!

[ketaro]

Steve, stop thinking about it bud sure it hurts but its not doing you any good. Perhaps, going out with friends tonight can make you feel better.

[stevef20]

Omg its here.

 

Today is her birthday and to say I'm super anxious would be a huge understatement, the knots I feel in my stomach are enormous, my chest is tight and for the first time in weeks I couldn't eat this morning.

 

I want to text her guys, I love her soooo much still, surely sending someone well wishes on their birthday when you love them so much can't be a bad thing. She means so much to me still, I'm nothing without her, I know ill get hurt if I send something but if I'm this sad anyway, what difference will a text make.

 

I'm broken without her my friends, I can have good days and tell myself I'm doing great but the truth is, I'm list without her, she is everything to me, I'd take her back in an instant.

 

This hurts so very much. I'm sorry to bother you all with this.

 

Steve

[twitchyfingers]

Hi Steve,

 

You're in a tough spot right now with all the overwhelming feelings surrounding her birthday. I wish I had the right words to make you feel better, but just know I'm pulling for you.

 

Get through this day by hook or by crook, then it'll be behind you, and you can catch your breath a bit and regroup.

 

Huge hugs to you.

[stevef20]

Thanks my friend

[peteperch]

Steve - know how you feel mate - it was my ex's birthday yesterday - haven't been there for two of them now but it's still difficult - i like yourself was wondering how she was getting on with a family do , or who she was out with Sat night laughing and joking in our favourite place ( with possibly my replacement ) - I work with her - she's been in our department today saying what a wonderful weekend she had etc etc -thing is Steve - I got through yesterday, i'm still here and so can you - it's just one day - try and fill this evening with active things - I went to the gym for two hours yesterday followed by drinks with friends watching the game and an early night - trust me just get through it and tomorrow you can start to think ahead again.....

[stevef20]

Thanks Pete,

 

I'm glad you got through the day fella, hurts like hell as you'll know, I've not contacted yet but the sadness keeps sweeping over me and makes me think about it.

 

Lifes a pig sometimes. Thanks again for the advice.

[stevef20]

Hi everyone,

 

What a day, i hurt so much and having just arrived home the flood gates can now open, ive missed the support today, i guess everyone is at work or perhaps ive out stayed my welcome

For those interested, ive not text her yet, i really want to and spent so long looking at my phone today hoping she would text me but nothing.

The tears have started to roll down my face now, i miss her so much people, why do i have to give up the most precious thing in the world to me, why

I need a cuddle so bad right now, ive lost my love and its broken me, im sorry i have to go sob......

[twitchyfingers]

Hi Steve,

 

I'm sure she missed you, too, on her birthday, whether she texts you or not. You two shared a lot of life history...those traditions and memories don't just disappear overnight (or after 8-plus weeks). It's sad stuff. So, mourn your loss, let the tears roll.

 

If you can stay in NC, you allow her to REALLY miss you, and the loss of you in her life. More importantly, you also allow yourself to continue the very necessary but painful healing process. Not texting her is a vote for YOU, for your sanity, for your value as a person.

 

Stay in the game. We're pulling for you.

[stevef20]

Sadly she won't even know I exist we were only together just under a year remember.

 

My mums just come into my room because she heard me sobbing, she gave me such a big cuddle and held me tight , she started to cry to, she told me how proud she was of me and what a fantastic son I am, that she wished she could take my pain away and that after I've given so much to everyone and always been the person I am, it shouldn't be me who suffers Like this, bless her. I wish she did have a wand, is ask for my love back.

 

This hurts sooooo much..........

[twitchyfingers]

Steve, a year is a long time to be together. I doubt she just erased you from her memory like that!

 

Your mom is a gem, and she is right. Take her words to heart.

[penfield]

Steve, you will grow from this believe me. I have the exact same feelings for my ex as you are describing and she broke up with me over 2 years ago. Despite the pain that still exists, I have learned to deal with my thoughts and feelings and you will too! This process shapes who we are and how much we will appreciate in the future. Keep telling yourself this was her decision not yours. You are feeling so much pain but she is not. She is happy. You are not. I tell myself this every single day and it doesn't always help but you cannot argue with the truth no matter how much it hurts. You just get used to it and learn how to manage the pain you are feeling at this moment. Like me, you may never stop having feelings for this girl... never. But stay strong and you may be able to find a good place for those thoughts. I am still trying to move on and there are other girls out there who will appreciate the kind of person you are. I'm still looking myself but I know now that they are out there. Put the phone away for the rest of the day!!!

[stevef20]

Thanks penfield,

 

That was nice to read albeit a bit painful. I'm sorry to hear you're still not over things after all this time, you sound like a really decent guy, I truly hope a new love is only around the corner for you.