Ex bringing girlfriend to a mutual friend's wedding

[BrokenSmile]

Hi there- this is my first post. I guess I need advice. My ex and I were both invited to a mutual friend's wedding for this summer. (He and I are still in contact - limitedly now.) I was going to RSVP the other day and bring one of my (girl) friends, but I had a feeling that he might be bringing his new girlfriend. I decided to text him and just ask if he is planning on it, because I don't think I could handle seeing that. He is planning on bringing her- although he says they're not officially dating. (Then again he is bringing her several states over to the wedding, so that seems pretty serious to me.) Anyways, now that I know he's going with her, I am no longer planning on going. I want to move on, and I don't think that seeing him with someone else so soon will be good for me. I'm afraid it will set me back. Then again, I hate that I'm missing the wedding, and I hate that his decision makes me alter my plans. He wants to remain friends, but bringing her to an event he knows I was going to be at doesn't seem like something a friend would do. On the other hand, he doesn't think he should have to alter what he does because it may hurt me. Would any of you go to the wedding if it was your ex?

[CarnelianButterfly]

I'd go and celebrate with my friends and avoid him. You don't have to spend time with him or be around him, but don't let his date ruin your enjoyment of your friends wedding.

 

For me, I don't think it would set me back, I think it would solidify the end and I'd move on. I've had a few awkward situations dealing with close quarters with a guy that rejected me, I made myself focus on my other friends and ignored him. If I found my thoughts going to him, I'd force myself to concentrate more on the conversation I was having. Because of avoiding him, I actually developed a much deeper relationship with one of my other friends due to the great conversations we had.

[bri427]

dont make this about you...its ure friends wedding and they'd love to see u there. forget bout his bs...u deserve to celebrate a beautiful moment. show him u can have fun and dont need him to do it!!!!

[PrettyGood]

Well it depends, if I would be healed then I would go and I wouldn't care. If I wouldn't be healed then I wouldn't go. On the other hand you can find out how close are they. How does he presenting her to other people. If these relationship is serious then it should sound like:

 

"This is my girlfriend Margaret".

"This is my woman Margaret".

"This is my future baby's mother Margaret".

"This is my lady Margaret".

 

Have you noticed? He should unconsciously tell people relationship or status which she has with her. If he tells the official status, then it's serious. He lets everyone to know that she belongs to him and it's serious relationship. It's not serious if he say only her name or just "my friend" or say anything without mentioning any relationship or status. For example:

 

"This is Margaret".

"This is my friend Margaret".

 

So listen carefully. And if you're still in doubt when he says the second variant presenting her to you, you can re-ask him:

 

"Margaret? Just Margaret?"

or

"Friend? Just a friend?"

 

I think she would be angry on him if he would confess that he doesn't feel anything more for her, but he wouldn't present her as his "girlfriend" if it is not so, just to let other know that it's only a casual friend even if he uses her to make love. That's all. Simple.

[Batya33]

Of course he should bring her - I think you're asking too much of him not to bring someone he is involved with (whether it's official or not obviously he wants her there with him and is going to efforts to have her there). I can relate to why you'd feel uncomfortable but if it is a typical reception with more than 20 people there you can easily avoid them. It would help if you brought a date, too. If you really can't handle it don't go but I don't think it's fair to dictate who your "friend" can bring just because of how you might feel seeing them.

[paradiselost]

Its tough - incredibly tough but you say a lot more by going.

 

Force yourself to go - dress brilliantly and get an attitude even if you have to fake it.

 

Go smile, speak to people, dont stay in a corner, allow yourself to dance and just ignore him and treat him like an acquaintance - make him feel uncomfortable not the other way around!