What goes around comes around, to those who have been cheated

[ChellyV]

just want to share, this is for all those whose loved ones have cheated on them that resulted in a break up.

 

what goes around, comes around!

 

an ex, who i have recently restored friendship with (nothing more than that) had broken down and told me that the girl he had dumped me with is no good, meaning, he felt that she was too controlling, would be physically and emotionally abusive, is materialistic that nothing can ever satisfy her, and she doesn't even let him go to work and be left alone at home. imagine that. and i only understated some of them here for lack of words. i understand that this might be something the ex had brought to her, but regardless, that is still a miserable life.

 

now he feels so alone and without hope that he will ever find that someone again. i had never even wished misery on any of my ex's but remember, what goes around comes around. a human occurrence that none of us can prevent.

[hexaemeron]

Congratulations, you won, I guess.

[QuirkyCute]

It may not be about winning for Chelly.

 

Chelly, how did it make you feel when you heard about this from him? I ask because, if it were me, I'd feel great that he had broken up with me so that I didn't have to be involved in the mess he was getting himself into.

[Lady Rashomon]

I agree with Hex.

 

I also think that "what goes around, comes around" is kind of a simplistic pronouncement. I know plenty of people, both good and bad, whose cheating led them into relationship situations that were far more fulfilling than the ones that they were previously in. It's really a crapshoot, and it's more dependent on individual psychology and circumstance than grand cosmic laws.

 

The punitive tone of this maxim also annoys me to no end. I'm a believer in learning from your experiences and surrendering to the innate wisdom of each moment, regardless of whether or not you like what's happening.

[QuirkyCute]

I don't understand. Is there something wrong with believing "what goes around, comes around"? I'd argue that the simplicity of the maxim depends the understanding of the one using it. I know plenty of people, regardless of "goodness", who have cheated and hurt many, many people. In fact, some of these people continue to hurt others to this day. Is it wrong to believe they'll learn their lessons one day? I'm a believer in learning from your experiences, too. However, some people don't understand what they have done until it is done to them, or happens to a loved one.

[ChellyV]

Lady Rashomon - yes, they do find themselves happy with the person they cheat us with, but they suffer in other ways like perhaps financial independence, etc. This is why there is a rule that do not do unto others what you do not want done to you. It's reality, although I understand fully the concept of what you are saying.

 

QuirkyCute - yes they will realize at one point in their lives the mistakes. Just how we all realize our mistakes and make an effort to correct them and not repeat them.

 

What goes around comes around is an interpretation of ... 'WHATEVER YOU SOW YOU REAP'.

[nekoxchaos]

its more about people suffering for their actions because at that moment they saw something better. We are humans we usually get caught up when we see something better ... on the surface level or otherwise. Eventually they see the true colors of that persons, so either they have a better relationship or they were fooled but someone always suffers or gets hurt in the end T_T

 

and yes as others have said, some people don't learn from their experiences and repeat the same unhappy cycle but that's on them =D

[mad rabbits]

Well... I had an ex leave me for someone else (two exes in fact).

 

He also told me she was controlling and angry and flew off the handle at the slightest thing.. in fact he made it sound like she is completely nuts. Still, its her who broke his heart, it's her he needed time to recover and heal from - not me. He didn't give me a thought, and just because your ex is sad now that his new relationship didn't pan out, doesn't mean he ever gave you a thought either. I don't think that's winning. Just because someone gets their "just desserts" doesn't mean that the original injury is corrected, that justice is served. The world doesn't work that way.

 

 

The other one is apparently happily married to his new lady and they have a kid.

 

I don't believe in karma. Crappy people who commit crappy actions prosper all the time. In fact look around - it's those people that rule the world!! and run the corporations that are poisoning our planet beyond being liveable.

[itsallgrand]

Actually, your account sounds to me like he is simply doing the same sorry song and dance as ever. The cheaters sad story to try and get their claws in as many bedsheets as possible " oh, life is so hard for me, my woman is crazy, she is so mean to me, and my dog got run over by a truck this morning......" Cue the country music.

 

That you are listening to him, in his brain, probably registers as "yesss, i'm in! I can still maybe bang this broad again."

 

Maybe I am a meathead trapped in a woman's body, but I don't think he has got what is coming to him yet. He's just continuing on in his usual pattern and that is feeding lines to women to try and get what he wants. Eh?