did i screw up?

[alonealone]

So I have a post below on dating a recently single girl. We agreed not to get involved for at least a month, because she his hung up on the ex, she did the breaking up. So last night we went out to a movie, just a casual get-together, no date. Everything was fine. At the end I gave her a hug and went to kiss her. She wouldn't let me. Said she was sorry but she could not, she still wasn't ready. Now we had done some serious kissing and such a few weeks ago before deciding it would be best to wait. So I thought it was just going to be an inocent kiss, no big deal.

 

So I said it's ok and we went our separate ways.

 

I called her a bit later to tell her I was sorry and hope I did not make her feal unconfortable. She did not answer so I left a message. Called her twice today, moring and evening, again just left messages. I explained that I respected our decision not to date for at least a month and was not trying to break that deal with a kiss or rush her. I really did not think it would hurt. Also said we did not have to talk about it if it was bothering her but I would like to talk to her.

 

She still has not called.

 

I'm not going to call her for at least a week, don't want to look like a freak.

 

So did I screw it up? Do you think she'll call? I understand this might have bothered her and she needs much more time, I just hope she is not upset with me.

 

Thanks everyone.

[JuJu]

You didn't do anything wrong, but sometimes girls see kissing as something you do as a "couple" and you may have caught her off guard. I think its a good idea to wait to call her again. Just give her some space and I'm sure things will be fine! Good Luck!

[alonealone]

Thanks, that makes me feel somewhat better. Although we are both almost 30 so the kissing thing should not be that big of a deal, but I do understand what you mean.

 

Thanks

[JuJu]

Oh, I had no clue how old you were...by the sound of the situation, you sounded much younger than that! Well, either way...don't worry, things will work out!

[alonealone]

Yeah the whole thing does sound kind of young. She's be married before, but even so, she's only been in a couple of relationships so in a way she's kind of inmature in that sense. But I think she is worth the effort.

[JuJu]

If you think she is worth the effort, than she is. Let me know how the story ends

[ForAnother]

Yeah she was freaked out. Just wait, hope things work out.

 

ForAnother

[alonealone]

Yeah I'm sure she was. No call today either.

[alonealone]

So ladies do you have a certain time period in situations like this where you wait to call? I know she has played hard to get with her ex before by not answering his calls. Although this is not really a hard to get situation. But maybe it relates?

[ocean9]

If you know that she played games before, be careful...be very careful.

Don't call her. Don't play this little game of hers.

If she is interested enough, she'll call.

It is up to you to decide how long you are willing to wait to hear from her.

I suggest getting on with your life in the meantime.

Don't focus all of your energy on her. Get out there and have some fun with people who want to spend time with you and who have the respect and decency to return a phone call!

[Belle]

I have a totally different take on this having been in this situation myself.

She asked you not to "date" for a month, and you trying to kiss her was like saying you didn't respect that decision and she felt like you were pushing something on her that she wasn't ready for. I don't find that immature at all. But if you try to push a woman who has already set a boundary, she will not trust you very much.

 

Just my two cents.

[alonealone]

My intentions were not to disrespect our agreement. Although she may have taken it that way. Probably so since she still has not called me back. My question now is how to rectify this. I thought of giving her a couple of weeks before I try calling her again. It has been 4 days since I called. This would not be all that big of a deal but I have known her for several months and we have become good friends. I don't want to just give it up.

 

In a way it is immature. You don't just ignore someone, especially someone important . If you have an issue then you talk about it. Avoiding the situation is immature. People in their late 20's shouldn't act like that. And me going along with it means I am playing the immature game as well, but like I said, she really is a great person and I hate to give up.

 

Thanks Y'all

[Belle]

She may not be very good at communication. That doesn't make her immature. If she's dealing with a breakup, she doesn't want conflict with you too. She's simply backing off to protect herself.

 

To rectify it, I think you're right. Backing off for a little bit to give her a little space may be the best route. In a few weeks you can touch base with her and let her know you're still interested but ready to take it however slowly she needs.

 

good luck

[alonealone]

She never has a problem communicating. She has always told me everything and whatever has been on her mind. I think she's just taking this breakup hard and doesn't want to deal with it.

 

I'll give her a few weeks. I don't mind giving her space, I just want her to at least talk to me. It's really a helpless feeling when there is no way to talk to someone. Especially when you don't know if you did something wrong or not.