The more I ignore, the more she texts...

[rich46]

Why is this? I am no longer hung up on my ex, and I find it quite easy to ignore her now, but I am just trying to work it out.

 

I live in Japan and was involved with a Japanese girl for maybe 10 months, although we lived quite far apart. I was planning to move closer to her last month, but she went distant back in November and ended up with the "time" and "space" excuses. Since 1st January, I made the conscious decision to move on and I deleted all photos, blocked her on MSN, and eventually began dating others. After about two months of NC she started texting, and I ignored...and since then it has got progressively more and more. I did respond on the day of the huge earthquake, which prompted her to call me 8 times in 30 minutes, but I didn't answer and reiterated that I only want contact if she wants to talk about us.

 

So why do they do it? Is it for an ego boost? It isn't feasible to get back with her as I have re-signed my contract for an extra year, and besides, I have been dating and things have been going great on that front. Just curious really.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Rich

[LonelyJedi]

I think the main reason why dumpers still try and make contact with the dumpers is that they want the reassurance that they can still reach you whenever possible. It probably is an ego boost, if they are a narcissist. Deleting all of the photos, and blocking her was a great step towards healing. It sounds like you are doing better without her, so I would just ignore her texts. After all, she wanted "time" and "space" right?

[DN]

It may be that she is genuine or it may be that she is one of those people whose ego can't stand the fact that their ex isn't pining away from unrequited love but has successfully moved on without them.

[thewendy]

Typical push-pull dynamic. I agree with DN, she probably can't stand the fact that you've deleted her out of your life already.

[Chris Knows]

9 times out of 10 it's an ego boost. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

They know longer are getting the attention they once got and desired from you. They are curious to what you are doing. They are curious why you will no respond. The "I miss you's" the constant texting will stop if or when you begin texting her back.

 

People usually do NOT change. They change temporarily but always tend to go back into the same cycle of being distant again.