Well its been 5 complete days of NC......

[JustPlainSad]

Its been tought but I have been able to do 5 days of complete no contact. I havent been on MSM for the past 5 days as to not tempt myself and I've succeeded. Today is getting tougher to try and not contact but I will do it. I HAVE to do it. The opposite didnt work, pleading, begging etc... so I must try the opposite. Its not just for her its for me also.

 

Two things happened this week/weekend. One is my mom saw her drive past the end of my road and then double back past it. I dont know what that was about. She said she looked weird and really stressed out. They were side by side in cars and she didnt notice her. She said she looked distraught. Now there is no reason to be around my area. Unless she has a new BF that lives around me, but then why would she double back?

 

Two I went to two restaurants this weekend with a friend and both times I saw waitresses giving me the "look". They both were pretty hot. So with both waitresses we played the look game back and forth. I didnt approach either one. I'll see them again so there was no need to persue anything. That did two things for me. It gave me a little confidence and it took my mind off of her, I needed both!

[the_Monk]

Keep it up buddy. I went two weeks without contact then broke and sent her an email. We chatted a few days after msn. That was just over a week ago. she had told me she would call but never did. I did break and called her place lastnight but to no avail, she was out.

 

I think you'll find out a lot about yourself and the relationship you had with your ex over these next couple of weeks. A word to the wise, use this time to really reflect on things and how you can improve yourself and your chances of getting what YOU want.

 

In my case, my ex never really contacted me, however, i feel that its in my best interests to put myself out there for her to see whats changed over the last few weeks and that i truly do care for her a great deal. Hence why i did NC.

 

My thoughts are with you man and keep your head up!

[Princess777]

I think you're doing awesome!!!! 8)

 

She drove past your house most likely because she was wondering why you haven't contacted her. It's working. Keep it up!!!!!

 

And talk to those sexy waitresses!!!!!

[JustPlainSad]

LOL Princess. Thanks of the encouragement the both of you. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.

 

I may talk to the waitresses the next time I see them. One thing is that I can tend to talk to A LOT of women when I'm single which can be looked at as a negative. It was in the beginning with this one. She thought I was a player but I'm really not. I was single and just talked to a lot of women and people in general. So I chilled on that while I was with her, out of respect for her and I really didn't want/need to. So now that, I'm, eeeek, single again, and still wanting her back this presents an interesting dilema. If we somehow get back together I don't want her to have anything about me to question or double take, e.g. new "girl" friends and I don't want to hurt the other girl. At the same time instilling some jealousy in her could be GOOD for this. So I'm just gonna take my time and think things out. If I feel the urge I'll talk to them. Lastnight I did find myself thinking of one of the waitresses along with her..... Kind of a back and forth thinking.....

 

But I do want her back more than anything!

 

Life..... ain't it grand.....

[Princess777]

Yeah, I highly doubt that she just "happened" to be in your neighborhood. If she truly wanted to avoid you, she would. Read her actions. She may have been trying to see if another girl's car was there.... I know that's probably what I'd be doing if I was driving by.

 

I understand you're scared of creating new relationships for fear it will sabotage getting back together. Jealousy can either work wonders or it can wreak havoc. The best way to handle that would be to evaluate her personality as you know it and to what she would best respond. I am never a fan of games but unfortunately the single life is that.

 

Good luck!

[JustPlainSad]

yeah princess if she saw that I made new friends this quickly or moved on this quickly, 4 weeks since it ended, she would have an issue. I never lie and do not want to put myself in the position to lie. So I'm just gonna try and play it by feelings. Five days of NC is not much considering what I have read in other threads.

 

She was probably gonna check and see if my car was there but didnt have the guts to drive down my street. There really isnt a reason for her to be around my area of town, especially doing a double back. I want to think she was checking up on me but I'm not gonna get too excited over that.

[Princess777]

She WAS checking up on you. Stop lying to yourself!!!!

[JustPlainSad]

Who knows if she was Princess. I don't think there is a way for me to find out either. But I would be flattered if that was the case because that means she's curious and thinking of me. Well like I said I'm gonna try and play it cool as I can and try not to break down and call her. Games are not fun but sometimes they can make things exciting. If you can provide anymore help I would gladly appreciate it Princess! Many hanks to you and Monk!

[nicholascrack]

justplainsad,

 

 

It seems as though your no contact has been doing wonders. Good for you! In my humble, personal opinion, her driving to your street shows that she is wondering what you are up to. Keeping no contact is very difficult and it shows that you've been strong!

 

As far as the waitresses, I say hit it up. It gives you a chance to get your mind off of everything going around you!

 

Keep up the good work, and good luck!

 

Nicholas

[fantasia2004]

mystery is good when that shows the others are curious.

 

Kep the fun going but not to far gook luck justplainsad

[k33]

She was so looking for you! Good job. NC is working. I have NC my husband for 5 days, since the date on Friday... No one has seen him wandering around my neighborhood though!

 

Excellent with the waitresses too. I say don't do anything, like you said, she will be hurt if 4 weeks later you are hooking up. But so damn good for you self esteem.

 

I am so proud of you!!!

k33

[JustPlainSad]

Well she didnt drive past my house just my street and doubled back twice. I dont want to over think it and I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, she got lost.....

 

Well it will be six days total. Luckily I've been pretty busy the past week so that has helped a bit. The NC has helped me dearly. I dont know if it hurt or helped her but it was necessary, just as this break was. It was her choice so she must live with it.

 

I do want her back still thats a definite. No doubts about that. BUT!!! She has to work on things just as I do. Its not just me. Thats one thing I've learned in the past 3-4 weeks., its NOT just me. She needs to work on things also. If she refuses or if she does not think so then thats her problem and nothing I could do unfortunately except move on. Only time will tell if we'll be back together. I hope fate locks us together forever this time.

 

I wont play games. Sure I may make her work a bit for it but hey she should, she ended it. I will be true to MY feelings. I will only take her back under the conditions I feel I can live with. If she cannot except that then its her decision if she wishes to change or not. She will no its the difference between being with me or not. I will make that very clear. I WILL NOT play games with my feelings again. It hurt to much and affected my health in ways I wish it to not occur again. She'll never know what I have been through because it cannot be put into words. But I do know I have identified my and her problems, deeply thought everything through and learned from all of this and our relationship.

 

I may see her in a few days and I'll play it cool. I wont giver her too much but I also wont be cold to her. I am genuinly concerned about her well being and want her to feel better about herself, her life and her goals. I'll keep it pretty short if it does occur.

 

Thanks for the help my internet peeps. If any of you have anymore to add please, feel free to chime in! It would be even more difficult if all of you weren't here. Thank you once again.....

[JustPlainSad]

Well isnt it great when you have a dream of the person and everything is working out perfectly. You guys talk, laugh and are pretty much the way you wish it to be only to HEAR YOUR ALARM GO OFF AND WAKE YOU UP!!!!!

 

Six days now and I'm rying to stay strong. The dream made me miss her even more. Hopefully the intense feeling I have will keep me from contacting her. I think I should be OK though!

[craigblitz]

Aww yes the dreams.... I remember those vividly my friend.. major kick in the "boys" to start the day. Stay strong.... keep telling yourself this is the best thing, and I am sure you do miss her but the pain you feel is going away even though minimal at this time I am sure it is helping.

 

Good Luck, if you have too call some random cell phone and confess your love to a stranger... might make their day J/K don't do that

[Princess777]

If she's driving by your neighborhood, she will be calling you soon. Just watch!

[JustPlainSad]

Princess I want to believe that but I'm just too afraid to get my hopes up. Because if I hope that and she doesn't I would have set myself up for more hurt. I'm just gonna give here the benefit of the doubt and say she made a wrong turn

[Princess777]

You're so modest.

 

OK but I'm telling you, she was distraught because she was checking up on you.

 

I understand that you don't want to get your hopes up... then don't call it HOPE.. call it Confidence that you know she still wants you. And leave it at that.

 

Sometimes things aren't always as they seem, and people don't always show or say how they're really feeling. You have to read between the lines sometimes....

 

good luck, you're doing wonderful.

[JustPlainSad]

Yeah all of you are right. She could have avoided my area all together. Its not like I live in a one road town . So she must have done it for a reason.

[craigblitz]

hahahahah ohhh silly boy...... She will call they always call, relax.

[JustPlainSad]

LOL, craig. I hope you're right man.

[k33]

How could she not call, you are lovely. Silly goose.

 

You are doing great with the NC. I broke and called my man yesterday... left a message but haven't heard back. I would love it if he drove by my neighborhood.

 

Just keep doing what you are doing and I think it is great that you have realized that it isn't just you that needs to do some work. Because it always takes two to tango... well one can tango but it looks really silly.

[JustPlainSad]

Thanks for the encouragement k33. Right now I'm missing her really bad. I should be OK through today. I'll be busy all night, so I should be cool.

 

I hope I'm doing the right thing. I stopped talking to her on my own terms. I just couldnt talk to her without having angry feelings. Well I think I'm past that now. Only if we communicate will I truly know if I'm OK. I definitely dont feel as angry because I know its not just me. And the problems I know I have to work on are already identified and have been working on them. I feel I've made great progress.

 

I still can't bring myself to think that she was checking up on me when she was around my area. Something is just holding me back from believeing that. It's a gut feeling I have.....

[JustPlainSad]

WOW can you say sick to my stomach? I had a horrible dream last night where she asked me to meet her so I did. But she did this so I could see some guy pick her up and then she was making out with him in the car. It immediately put knots in my stomach for today. They'll subside though.

 

Its been one full week of NC. Because of the dream I'm really wanting to cantact her. But I'm gonna be strong and try to not contact her. Hopefully I'll be OK. What really stinks is that she has not tried to contact me during this time either. That is really a shot to my confidence, mentality and hope of this relationship panning out. Oooooooo how I wish she would just send me some sort of contact to let me know she's thinking of me. I dont care if its a PM, email, call or surprise visit. JUST SOMETHING!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Today is gonna be a really rough day. Tomorrow should be easier since I'll be a little bit more busy. Uhhhhhhhhh this stinks!!!!!!!

[Princess777]

Every time you want to contact her, just come here and vent.

[JustPlainSad]

Its really rought right now. Almost as rough as it was the first week or so. I'll try and come on here to vent Princess. I'm a very vivid dreamer and get moved by my dreams. I dont believe in them but I get intense feelings from them, as I'm sure everyone does. But those feelings translate into thoughts of the situation and then the negative thoughts kick in. Why hasnt she called, has she come by any other time, is she thinking of me blah blah blah. Yes those are all situations I cannot control but I'm human and cannot help to think of them. UGH!!!!! I wish this would be over alread and we were back together. I guess this is one of the bad days. And yes Princess venting on here and expressing my feelings here does help a great deal. Its people like you, k33, craig, myjoy and mun (sorry if I missed anybody that helped me, brain is going a mile a minuet) that make this otherwise difficult situation tolerable. Thank you all!