Delicacy of relationships

[Nappyloxs]

I don't know if is the right forum, but I only post here.

 

So I really can never shake this feeling that my ex will call one day. Despite the fact, that since we first broke up it was always me who reached out for the past year and a half. (even changed my flight once when she watched my dogs during an emergency so I could see her).

 

I firmly believe that if we were to get back together we need this time apart to grow.

 

She dumped me a million times during recon and in the relationship she ran and moved out more than once. It was like she broke my heart a million times but I became numb to her leaving. I could probably forgive her for that.

 

My thing is this. I understand she wanted safety and security and at the time we were together I really could not give it to her.

 

But what I want in a woman is knowing that they will be there for me no matter what. I mean I went to college, went to law school, became an attorney. I opened my own business and it was a struggle for a while, but I always had confidence and long term goals. She never say that and had faith in me. (called me a broke attorney and failure more than once). I don't think I can ever forgive her for not having faith in me and bailing when things were tough.

 

So how does it all balance out? I get that some women want safety and security, yet I want a woman who I know will have my back if I lose my job, or get sick.

 

I remember when we use to have our marriage talk and I would tell her that I did not believe she loved me through sickness, health, rich or poor. Lol, I just remembered one of our last conversations in Nov. and she said she wanted a guy who she knew would pay her mortgage if she lost her job! (how do I still even think of this girl?)

 

Feel free to share other contradictions in your relationships.

[Nappyloxs]

Fyi for the last part and those who dont know my story, I never asked my ex to pay for more than half and she complained about that.

[quirky]

I don't know if she will call, I get the impression that maybe her personality is not quite wired up that way. Trust is a tough thing and it sounds like she was lacking that in you for whatever reason. Whatever you may wish for if trust is not there it is not gonna happen. Your ex may be a very calculating woman that was mainly interested in her comfort. Or it may be that something about you didn't allow her to fully relax. Noone is in the wrong, just different people. To most women a sense of security is crucial, as important as it is for a guy to be very attracted to his woman.

 

I am sure you will find a woman that will be there no matter what, it may likely not be your ex though. I think the person that sticks with you through thick and thin is someone that fully trusts you, when you've made a good impression on the first stages of the relationship. Like in a job, if you're really reliable at the beginning then you can get away with some carelessness. Maybe the early stages in your relationship gave her an impression that she couldn't fully trust you. At the same time as you have said your ex was a bit of a princess and it's just how some women are.

 

 

I feel that your best way forward is to ignore completely what she may think/thought, does/did, feels/felt etc. All you have is the present.

 

Regarding the contradictions in my relationship thre are so many I won't even bother hehe

[lia86]

Oh Nappy... I completely understand... I can't shake that stupid feeling that he'll call someday either.

 

I can't complain, everything else in my life is going pretty well. I just know exactly what you're talking about, and I have pretty much learned to live with it.