Ex keeps on contacting me

[calisurfer]

Some of you know the stunt my ex pulled a few days ago. He showed up drunk late at night. After he did that I wrote him an email saying that to please respect my wishes and leave me alone. He still has a gf, the one he left me for, and it's best that he focus on his new life and leave me out of it. He called me today from a different number and poured his heart out to me. He said a few things that really affected me and made me miss him, but I just cant forget the way he treated me or what he is doing right now. He said he wants to meet me for coffee and hang out, I don't think it's a good idea. He knows my weak points and what to say to influence me. I just don't know what to do. I felt pretty strong the other day, but now feel like he is wearing me down.

 

Why would he want to meet me now? He's in a new relationship and living with his gf. Why does he want me in the picture? I was doing pretty good till today after his phone call. I feel like such a whimp. I should've just slammed the door on him the day he showed up to my place drunk.

[Ely]

I'm almost sure that if you stay nc, u will get him back. Don't ruin your chances.

[thekid55]

I was in a similar situation about 2 months ago. Right around New Year's (3 months post BU), my ex started contacting me again. I kept ignoring all of her texts. She finally got desperate and showed up here one night (roughly 5 weeks ago). I let her in because I didn't know what was up and I couldn't bring myself to slamming the door in anyone's face, let alone her. Just who I am. Anyway, she came in, got super emotional, which pushed me back into pursuit mode (huge mistake). She has not been in another relationship since the BU (neither have I), but we've both dated around. At the time, I had a feeling that the guy she was hanging with was pushing her away, but I gave way to my emotions and bam. She pulls back away and I haven't heard from her in 5 weeks now. I see her around every week or so, but we don't interact.

 

In your case, since he has a girlfriend, I think it's pretty easy to realize why you guys can't hang out. You are not the second option. You do not play second fiddle to anyone. I had thought my ex was serious about wanting to get back together, so I heard her out. That shouldn't even be an option in your case. What I can tell you is, if you give him an inch, he'll take a foot and leave you high and dry. Especially since he has a safety net already in place with the girlfriend if you reject him.

 

Just reiterate that you are being respectful of his relationship and you shouldn't talk. That's your best bet. You can do it.