How do you know when you have found "the one"!!

[FrogIsFree]

- Someone that is good for won't be hurting you.

 

Love is not always a bowl of roses, much of what love is is growing - growing can cause emotional pain for any couple - I have experienced pain without it meaning that the person is `not good for me', quite the opposite - they helped me mature emotionally.

Likewise - things that work often do require hard work, then it gets easier. There are no general certainties about this here, it is different for every couple.

 

What matters now is making conscious choices from this point forward, however you got here.. consciously or not.

 

There is not definite that "you cannot have them!, there is simply the question of you sitting down with this person and establishing the truth behind the truth rather than you concluding that she unobtainable, without first having this conversation.. & it is not that she is saying she is unobtainable but that she is saying she is aware she doesn't want to make you unhappy in the course of sorting out her problems.. she is offering you the honest choice to decide whether or not you want to take this on and from what you have said you feel you can, want to and are willing to show her the depth of your love by giving her the chance to open up and resolve these issues with you and help her resolve and heal about these issues emotionally that she is going through and at the same time work together to repair any possible damage done between you to your relationship through difficulties communicating. There is a big difference between `obsession' and a clearly communicated and agreed commitment to achieve these things.

 

It is so easy to give up because communication hasn't been good. I wouldn't suggest making hasty decisions to throw in the towel on this relationship yet, unless you feel that is really what you want in your heart of hearts and certainly not before you have both talked things through thoroughly, helped each other gain clarity and explored the relationship by addressing the issues within it surrounding her but also the issues around both of you in terms of communication, especially how you have communicated and how, if you are going to be together, you make sure you communicate as effectively as possible going forward.

[tattoobunnie]

You can love anyone from the bottom of your heart, with all your heart, and forever. And the other person could love you with all their heart. Doesn't make them "The One". And it doesn't mean things will work out. It takes two people who want things to want to work. Sure you have to take turns to keep the cup of love overflowing in times when one can only give a bit. But if it's the one, it shouldn't always be one person contributing to the cup.

 

I have loved a few others very much so...with tons in common, and got along well, etc. Does not make them the one.

 

I guess in actually finding "the one" for me, I realize how much crud I put up with, how many egg shells I did have to walk on, and how much I had to compromise, struggle, and fight for. And now, I don't have to sacrifice anything, and it is easy. I really find that the only potential struggles we may have is external (ie, job loss, death, sickness), and not internal. And I'm happy.

 

I have found that the right person (s) for you (does not have to be the ONE)...you feel incredibly easy to open up to and share your feelings, because you can relate and understand each other. And they inspire you to be better. I find that those you have have difficulty being vulnerable around...there's something in you that is telling you to be that way.

 

I also find that if you have the same problems that repeat over and over...no amount of communication will do anything. It just doesn't work. And they most likely are not "The One".

[FrogIsFree]

In my particular case I feel like I have found "the one" but Im trying to determine what exactly that means.

 

- this is a process of deciding what qualities in the other person mean you can feel like she is the one and, as you say, determining what exactly that means to you, rather than to somebody else.

 

What `the one' means to you could very well be different to what `the one' means to any other preson on this thread, me included.. when you've worked this out - you will be able to reevaluate and assess if this lady is the one. You can't judge it by anybody else's litmus and while there is a good deal of detail about this person in your thread post, none of us could possibly assume we know everything, therefore enough to advise you what is right or wrong for you - that is something only can decide.