Omg,how do i avoid this creep??

[Jaydedgirl]

SO theres this guy who has been working at my home for over 2 years,just this year his brothers kicked him out of his house and stole from him. My parents felt sorry for him so they gave him a place to stay at our house,he stays in a shed outside. SO anyway i live in south africa,the guy is a black guy and no offence im not into black guys. So anyways this guy has been acting strange..lately. My mum caught him looking at her when she wore a knee lenght dress and she asked him what you looking at and he relied "no nothing". He isnt that fluent in english. So recently he told my mum he like me and wants to marry me. I was pissed,disgusted and angry when i heard this. First of all he is a worker for my parents,he cleans the yard and garden, i am not attracted to him or shown any attraction or liking for him to even like me, then i dont like black guys,i am of indian origin and where i live alot of indian girls get raped by black men all the time. This guy that works for my parents is harmless coz hes only 18 and he has worked here before. But i have a problem with him liking me as i will feel uncomfortable to dress up and go out and the fact that he will be looking out for me sickens me Yesterday he was mopping the floors and he looked at me and i gave him a stern look and said "WHAT" loud then he just looked away. I mean this guy comes here to work and now he likes me? I am annoyed all the time with him living with us, my parents have gave him a warning that if he ever mentions my name he needs to pack up and leave. Im scared coz black people deal with muti-its like witchcraft to make someone do things and make them different...im scared of that and my mum says i shouldnt leave my window open coz he could throw something inside. What should i do abt this situation,im only 24 and i feel trapped coz he is still working for us?/

[petite]

1. The opening post seems racist - which rubs me the wrong way.

2. You're 24 not 14, therefore you're a grown adult who should be able to take care of herself.

3. Which craft? I highly doubt that your gardener will do some voodoo or get someone else to do it.

4. If your family (mother) think he is such a threat, why is he working for your family?

[Jaydedgirl]

1. The opening post seems racist - which rubs me the wrong way.

2. You're 24 not 14, therefore you're a grown adult who should be able to take care of herself.

3. Which craft? I highly doubt that your gardener will do some voodoo or get someone else to do it.

4. If your family (mother) think he is such a threat, why is he working for your family?

 

You certainly dont get it unless u live in south africa where crime rate is usually high and majority of blacks commit crime. My parents allowed him to continue working for us only if he quits asking abt me and liking me and thats why he is still working for us. Im not racist ,i just dont prefer black men coz of the crime they commit and its my personal choice. Yes im 24 but its not safe no matter what your age here,you always have to be careful. Its just i feel uncomfortable and weird knowing this guy likes me when i am not attracted to him whatsoever. SO dont get me wrong but i hate creeps.....

[sidehop]

But you're automatically labeling every individual who you don't like as some criminal. That's discrimination and stereotyping if not more. If you don't like him then simply ignore him, no need to generalize and start being mean hearted towards him. He has not done anything to you. If you feel uncomfortable then politely ask him not to and tell your parents.

[Jaydedgirl]

But you're automatically labeling every individual who you don't like as some criminal. That's discrimination and stereotyping if not more. If you don't like him then simply ignore him, no need to generalize and start being mean hearted towards him. He has not done anything to you. If you feel uncomfortable then politely ask him not to and tell your parents.

 

Yeah i know but my parents feel sorry for him so they keeping him working with us.My point is i do not like him or want to do anything with him so how do i make it known to him??

[sidehop]

Have you thought of actually getting to know him before making any conclusion? After all if he ends up staying for awhile to work for your parents you're going to end up seeing him around a lot. Rather than making an enemy out of him, you could always have a friend.

[lavenderdove]

OK, you live in a totally different culture and obviously have racial/class issues coming into play... BUT there are several things that jump out about this post.

 

First, if he is someone your family is uncomfortable with or doesn't trust, then just don't employ him or let him live on your place. Your family can hire someone else.

 

Next, he is entitled to think what he thinks and have his own feelings. So he is 18 and might have a crush on you... very common, and nothing to be insulted about. I think that is your racism or classism coming into play, where you are 'disgusted' by that. He's a human being and has feelings like anyone else, and is entitled to them as long as he is not doing anything inappropriate like touching you.

 

And if he is not actually DOING anything wrong, then you are overreacting. If you think he IS going to do something wrong, then fire him and have him move out.

 

btw, at 24, don't you think it is time to move out and have your own job and house? That would be the other suggestions, just move out if you don't like being around this person and your parents want to keep him on.

[Jaydedgirl]

Im of hindu religion so i dont just move out when i want to .....also im not racist. Yes he is entitled to his own feelings but why couldnt he keep it to himself,why tell my mother about it?? Even my mother doesnt like this at all...so im right where i stand.

[Jaydedgirl]

Have you thought of actually getting to know him before making any conclusion? After all if he ends up staying for awhile to work for your parents you're going to end up seeing him around a lot. Rather than making an enemy out of him, you could always have a friend.

 

No i already know him since hes worked for us for 2 years,he tends to stare at us alot and thats creepy,why not get on with your job and be appreciative u gotta place to stay

[LightbulbSun]

I agree with lavender. If your family is so uncomfortable with this guy working for you, why don't they hire someone else?

[Bluesman89]

Aside from the fact I sense blatent racism in this post, I also have an issue with the way women generally act toward men showing interest in them who they happen not to find attractive..

 

Like someone has already said, he is entitled to have feelings. He is not harming you in simply being attracted to you. If a woman who I was not attracted showed interest in me I'd be flattered, but certainly wouldn't regard her as a creep with any malicious intent..

 

It's ridiculous. This is exactly why I am so afraid of showing interest in a girl, for fear of being treated like a sort of disease.

[LightbulbSun]

Bluesman, it's different in different subcultures.

 

Like, where I live there would be no problem with any race dating another race. However, move over to the 'ghetto' section of town (about 20 mins from where I live), and a white person would be shot for dating a black person.

 

The OP is in a subculture that hates black guys. It's unfair to call her racist because of her heritage.

[avman]

This thread closed.