Breaking up with its more than just your gf

[JHunter]

Hi,

 

I decided to seek some on-line help dealing with the break-up of my relationship of 3 years (plus about a year as friends before that).

 

This relationship isn`t like many others that exist nor did it end because of the usual reasons.

 

My ex has a 5 year old son from a previous relationship, who I was (and still am) emotionally attached to. We had recently bought a house and I was working to get it into shape for moving into.

 

I`m not young (26) and have plenty of serious relationships and other girlfriends to know what is 'near perfect' in a women (for me). Unfortunately my ex fitted almost everything I could have asked for in a girlfriend - looks, communication, love, friendship, etc.

 

But over the last few months she has seemed more distant, wanting to spend more time with her son (she still lives with her parents) whilst I worked on the house.

 

Then last Friday I decided to talk to her and say how I felt that I was getting a little bit deglected, and though it would be nice for me to be more involved again. To this she basically told me (over the fone) that she didn`t feel the same way about me anymore, and couldn`t go through with anything. Soo completely out of the blue.

 

I think the real pain is that I had issues with her past (she still see's her sons father), her son and me and her family's acceptance of me BUT over the last year those have gone and I had planned >literally

 

I`m a strong person, I`ll know that I`ll get over it and move on - she wants to be friends but all your advice says that simply never works.

 

Even if I share this with one person it will make it easier...

[zippitt]

It's not that is never works, it's just difficult if you are the one still attached. Most people will have to get through the healing process after a break in order to be successful at being just friends. That usually requires that both people break contact for a while. So it's very likely that you will not be able to be friends right after a break. You can try to do so, but if you still have feelings it can drive you crazy. You will get jealous, hurt, confused, angry at the person you want to be friends with. My personal experience is that if someone breaks up with you leave them alone. You need the preious space for yourself.