Social Anxiety/Phobia

[RagingBull]

Well, after an initial consultation, my psychologist suggests that I've been suffering from social anxiety/phobia all of my life. It does explain alot about how I've been carrying myself throughout life.

 

For those who are not familiar, it is best described as an irrational intense uncomfortable feeling in social situations. It makes me appear very shy and cold even though I can be very friendly.

 

I'll get into a conversation with someone and things are going well, but a nauseating tension would build up inside forcing me to end the conversation prematurely and step away for relief. It hinders me from doing anything "bold" like asking for a phone number or esculating a relationship with a girl I like. I found that alcohol alleviates the nervousness but I just end up getting drunk. Either way I dont' make a good impression.

 

Can anyone relate to this?

 

I'm currently seeking treatment options to help cope with this problem and could use some advice or insight.

[warnerbro1]

Yeah, I'm in the same situation. Actually, about all I do to help with my social phobia is to read forums, such as enotalone and yahoo! groups: shyness, to relate to others. It actually makes me feel a lot better that other people are going through the same ordeal and that I can relate to it. I know you probably know what some of the causes are. But basically, I have realized that it has a lot to do with my low self-esteem/confidence and I know it will just get worse as I get older. I'm trying to work on it, I just need to quit procrastinating and set some goals and go through with it.

The worse part now is that I've lost a lot of weight thinking that would help with my situation, but it really hasn't. I've realized that there are plenty of people of all shapes and sizes that deal with this debilitating disorder and it just eats away at you. I have been going to college and I'm just extremely quiet in class, don't say a word, and sometimes when I see people, I realize that they must think I'm aloof and just cold with problems, etc. It's extremely annoying when you attracted to someone and you can't do anything about your problem and that person probably just thinks I'm a loner or just not approachable.

I'm done rambling, I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I just had to say that I have been dealing with this problem also RagingBull. I too know that once I get to know someone, they actually realize that I'm cool to hang out with, but still, that irrational thinking creates a roadblock, and I continue to be self-conscious and become mute.

 

If any of you have or is dealing with extreme shyness and/or social phobia, please share.

 

And for those who have gotten better at overcoming it, please let us know how.

[Goddess4ever]

I can't really relate to this, but I am a psychology major. Anxiety disorders while being the most "common" are also the easiest to treat. Just work hard in your therapy...I can guarentee you will be feeling better in no time!

[FreemanIG88]

Yea man. I hear that. Thats exactly what I do/did. I used avioding social situations entirely, and putting my head down in school. I get my social interactions though computer games anymore, there no risk no embarrsment, and it's fun. It's not healthy, the amount of time I spend playing and I don't suggest it

 

I don't have a problem with alcohol. My Dad is an alcohol, I've seen what it does and I've made a pact with myself to never touch it, ever.

 

I would suggest trying to get invovled in things. I got into pro cycling and like to watch and read about it all the time. And I got into a robotics club and met a great girl in there that has helped me open up a lot. So try to meet new people and find activities that you enjoy. Might want to try working out some. It will make you feel good about yourself and thus other people will think good of you too.

 

PS: Try to lessen the drinking a little bit. Liquid courage won't help in the long run.

[RagingBull]

warnerbro1 and FreemanIG88,

 

I know how you feel. What makes it even more interesting is that I'm also a bit impulsive and bold sometimes. I can be very friendly one minute and very cold the next, and all this time I thought I was just weird as my friends would say.

 

Goddess4ever,

 

hehe, the irony in this is that I'm also a Psychology major, but I guess I have very poor introspection skills as I couldn't even diagnose my own condition without the help of a psychologist. One thing I've learned from my Psychology professor is that the best method for therapy is a combination of psychotherapy and psychiatric intervention (drugs).

 

It seems that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the rage these days. I guess I'll probably be on some anti-anxiety medication and in therapy for a few weeks and be able to rid myself of this disorder.

[little242]

First of all I give you credit for seeking professional help and not relying on alcohol to alleviate the problem, so that is a start.

There are medications that can help but you should try to seek that as a last resort.

Perhaps your therepist may suggest some group therepy/relaxation technique type programs.

I think most it is important to realize that you are not the only one who has this problem. I know that I do at times but like jumping into a pool once the initial contact is made then it's done. Another thing to realize is that women are just as shy sometimes perhaps more than you think so don't take too much of a non response as negative trust your feelings. Women always admire men who get the courage up to come and speak to them and if they don't then you don't need them anyways.

[RagingBull]

Coming from a psychology background I was biased towards the use of psychoactive medications. That was until my Psychology professor whom I respect told me that she had made a mistake in sending her own daughter to psychotherapy without the use of anti-depressant medication. Her moral to the story was that psychotherapy in combination with appropriate psychoactive medication is more effective than any treatment administered exclusively.

 

I am seeking anti-anxiety medication so that I may be able to think better so i can reprogram myself during cognitive behavioral therapy. I don't intend to use medications forever, just as a crutch until I'm done with treatment.

 

The issue with me is time. I was able to overcome my fear of public speaking but it took several months and a college speech class.

 

I discovered alcohol had an effect on me when I realized I can keep my mind focused on one task when intoxicated. I can think alot more clearly when I'm moderately intoxicated.

 

Alcohol doesn't always work since my anxiety has hit me so hard sometimes alcohol doesn't work that I'm nervous and tipsy at the same time.

 

I don't have a problem with approaching women though, ironically I love talking to people. It's at some random inconvenient time in the conversation that is going well when anxiety begins to build up quickly and I feel like I have to cut the conversation short and take a breather.

[WhiteIcE]

I too am suffering from social anxiety. I have been on Paxel for the last few months. Just recently the doctor had raised my dose to 20 mg and now I am in manic and am making irrational descisions. I just dumped my gf of 1 year for no reason.

 

So be carefull if your going to take something.